Some Truths
Now let me be honest here. About myself that is. Some of you may or may not know that the past 8-10 months has been very hard for me. I've never really said this in public before, but I feel it's time to let you guys know what went on. At least the basics anyway. I'm not doing this for you to all feel sorry for me, but more so that you know why I have been so absent from OWF for that time. I think doing this will allow you to also understand why Peter being smod was so important to me.
I started having problems w/ my then boyfriend Pilot not long after the OddTour finished, or more specifically just after the time the whole OWF/TGA split occurred (I also made bad judgement there, but that's another story). There was a lot of lack of communication from him and a lot of stubborn feelings from me. So I began to get very depressed and even felt like ending my life. I didn't know what was happening w/ our relationship. I started to find coming here hard. I couldn't post, and I turned on invisible status. At the start of the year we broke up, never to speak again. I also lost my best friend (who I won't name) in the process. This lead me to the worst depression and not knowing how I could go on. Pilot was removed as smod (which suited him cause he was busy too) and promised never to come here again. He still insisted on being our host though. I still found it very difficult to come here because of the connection with him. So I started being active at Final Fantasy Extreme (the forum I now smod at) as there were no connections there. It helped me immensely in my recovery process, along with a caring family who were always there for me. I started coming back here, even though I'd look at posts here, I just couldn't bring myself to respond much. I worked on and implimented the industrial style set so that I didn't have to see the native one anymore (the native one reminded me too much of him). I used my re-found obsession w/ Sephiroth to help me too ... and would make some jokes in my posts about it. Gradually I began to post more often, and now I feel like I used to about this place ... I feel comforatable with being here. Although I may not be 100% recovered, I am very much there, going on w/ my life and trying to forget him. Part of the reason I wish to get a new server one day is to cut that final tie that may be holding me back.
So you see, while all that was happening, Peter was left to run the forums mostly by himself. With myself the way I was, and Pilot pretty much gone (he wasn't showing much interest in this place even before he was de-smodded), he was all there is. Apart from maybe asking me about certain things from time to time, the forum was mostly run by him. I owe him a lot because of that ... I'm extremely grateful to how he handled all of that without even being given any notice that it was going to happen.
I also wish to add that I'm not trying to put Pilot down in anyway, this is purely the events from my side. On foresight, I see that both of us were in the wrong in the whole situation.
Actually, I guess this speech might have been best made a month or so go ... but I was actually busy for other reasons back then. Now seems to make sense, seeing I'm determined to be more active again.
So I guess that's it. I feel better typing that up. Now it's time to go and un-hide myself (turn off invisible mode) ... as I no longer feel that I need to hide like I have been.
A thank you to all the members who make this place possible, and to all of the staff who keep this place running (not just Peter of course).
Abe Babe...
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Oddworld-Web | Advent Children.net | Dirge of Cerberus.net"If that's so, I shall draw you into the darkness. Into the nightmare that forever deprives you of light, from which you can never awaken." ~ Sephiroth, Kingdom Hearts
Obsessed with J.J. Abrams!!! <3
Creator of Cloverfield, Lost, Alias and Fringe ... he's just too awesome!
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Re: Some Truths
Welcome back!
