Some Truths
Now let me be honest here. About myself that is. Some of you may or may not know that the past 8-10 months has been very hard for me. I've never really said this in public before, but I feel it's time to let you guys know what went on. At least the basics anyway. I'm not doing this for you to all feel sorry for me, but more so that you know why I have been so absent from OWF for that time. I think doing this will allow you to also understand why Peter being smod was so important to me.
I started having problems w/ my then boyfriend Pilot not long after the OddTour finished, or more specifically just after the time the whole OWF/TGA split occurred (I also made bad judgement there, but that's another story). There was a lot of lack of communication from him and a lot of stubborn feelings from me. So I began to get very depressed and even felt like ending my life. I didn't know what was happening w/ our relationship. I started to find coming here hard. I couldn't post, and I turned on invisible status. At the start of the year we broke up, never to speak again. I also lost my best friend (who I won't name) in the process. This lead me to the worst depression and not knowing how I could go on. Pilot was removed as smod (which suited him cause he was busy too) and promised never to come here again. He still insisted on being our host though. I still found it very difficult to come here because of the connection with him. So I started being active at Final Fantasy Extreme (the forum I now smod at) as there were no connections there. It helped me immensely in my recovery process, along with a caring family who were always there for me. I started coming back here, even though I'd look at posts here, I just couldn't bring myself to respond much. I worked on and implimented the industrial style set so that I didn't have to see the native one anymore (the native one reminded me too much of him). I used my re-found obsession w/ Sephiroth to help me too ... and would make some jokes in my posts about it. Gradually I began to post more often, and now I feel like I used to about this place ... I feel comforatable with being here. Although I may not be 100% recovered, I am very much there, going on w/ my life and trying to forget him. Part of the reason I wish to get a new server one day is to cut that final tie that may be holding me back. So you see, while all that was happening, Peter was left to run the forums mostly by himself. With myself the way I was, and Pilot pretty much gone (he wasn't showing much interest in this place even before he was de-smodded), he was all there is. Apart from maybe asking me about certain things from time to time, the forum was mostly run by him. I owe him a lot because of that ... I'm extremely grateful to how he handled all of that without even being given any notice that it was going to happen. I also wish to add that I'm not trying to put Pilot down in anyway, this is purely the events from my side. On foresight, I see that both of us were in the wrong in the whole situation. Actually, I guess this speech might have been best made a month or so go ... but I was actually busy for other reasons back then. Now seems to make sense, seeing I'm determined to be more active again. So I guess that's it. I feel better typing that up. Now it's time to go and un-hide myself (turn off invisible mode) ... as I no longer feel that I need to hide like I have been. A thank you to all the members who make this place possible, and to all of the staff who keep this place running (not just Peter of course). Abe Babe... |
Re: Some Truths
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*blows a kiss* :D PS We All Luv you ^^ you have all our support :) |
Kristen, it's great to see you are able to be open with the occurences of past. It's good to have the forums 'whole' once more :fuzsmile:
I'm sure we all appreciate how hard it's been as well, even admitting it to everyone. Peter... |
Its good that the truth came out which must be a relef for you. Its also a relef to hear the whole story about what happened. For myself I was woundering what really went on during that one time.
Its good to remember the past and admit to it but need not dwell on the past for what I have learned. Look what you have, You have us and we are your community. We are with you mann! Its tough to remember such things like that but those things pass in time. In my life I had a girl friend whome I loved very much but she dident and one time she went off to Colorado and pretty much called me and said it was over. At the time I dident want to accept it but as time past I realised it was never ment to be. I should have known the warning signs but I dident and I was young of course then and I dident know better. But the point I am trying to make here is everything will work out for you because we are behind you. And like you said you are recovering from that which truely must be a relef for you. Its good to talk.:D Paramiteabe...:fuzblink: |
Well Abe Babe, i'm sure that felt good to talk about huh? Did you go to a psyciatrist in that time? I'm sorry the Native version reminds you of HIM, but I'm glad it's here, I really like it! I'm glad your back, I think your a really nice person, from what I've heard of you, and I hope your here to stay!:fuzgrin: Welcome back!
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Well always remember, you have our support here from all of us. Anyways, I'm glad you chose to speak about it with us.
:fuzsmile: |
okay, I understand better the whole thing now, thank you...
I'm realy glad to have you back, you will have our support, you know it so we can begin to work on the "TAoO"? (the art of oddworld) too early? okay never mind:D |
Aw, thanks guys. Your words bring a smile to my face. I really appreciate it from all of you. I kind of feel bad I didn't say something sooner, but the connection and that made it hard. At least now you guys know what was going on. It was something I tossed up doing a long time ago, but I just kept hesitating about it.
And Xavier ... now is probably a good time to get started. I have a little bit of work to do w/ my business, but after that I'll most definately get to work on a layout now that I am feeling good about OWF again. Unfortunately you were left waiting without too much of an explanation. So apologies for that. Abe Babe... |
yay, that's good news! I'm realy glad the project is still alive!
and, I forgive you to not giving me much explanations, I can understand it very well now :fuzwink: |
Abe Babe, I'm glad you're back!:fuzgrin: From the short while I've somewhat known you, I can say with assurity that you're one of the kindest people I know on the forums and I'm looking forward to seeing you here more often.:fuzwink:
I can understand a bad breakup. My sister was engaged to this one guy and one day she tried to call him and his phone had blocked her number and that was the end. There was never an official breakup. My sister was so crushed she thought of commiting suicide. It was a rough time, but she's doing much beter now. She now realises that he was never meant for her and that her true soulmate is still somewhere out there. -oddguy:fuzcool: |
Hey, it's great to have you back Abe Babe. :)
And I like Sephy-chan too *hugs replica masamune* :D |
Well I am truely glad to see you back AbeBabe. It was you who convinced me to join here and you who helped me with my first site. It was just so strange not having you here. But now that your back everything seem's to be normal.
Peter did do a great job running this place and I'd like to congradulate him on that. But anyways, I (aswell as everyone here) is extreemly happy to see you back to your old self. :fuzsmile: |