10-29-2011, 05:44 AM
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Posts walls of text
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: Aug 2007
: based damage system
: 4,751
Rep Power: 30
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Not mine, but I enjoyed this one when I came across it:
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I've gotten close to Kermit the Frog over the years. I'm his financial adviser. See, Mick Jagger came to me back in the sixties to set up his son's first savings account. I had no idea they were related, let alone father and son, but those two are just about as close as can be. It was heartwarming to see the two of them together, really. The whole time I'm explaining the account options to Mick, he always made sure Kermit had a say. He was barely more than a tadpole at the time, but his dad still made it a point to ask his opinion. It really inspired me with my own kids, I wanted to make sure they always felt respected, just like Kermit Jagger.
But yeah, over the years Kermit's always stayed with my bank, even after he left home and moved halfway across the country. I manage three locations myself now, but Kermit knows he can always stop by and I'll make the time to meet with him. I've given him a few loans over the years. His first car, his first house, even the business loan he needed to rent out that old theatre way back then. He never misses a payment, he's the most fiscally responsible client I have (I'd like to think I had a small part to play in that). I know he's good for anything he asks for, and he's got his father backing him up if it ever came to that, so at this point I don't even ask for collateral. He still brings in some trinket or another just as a show of good faith.
Just the other day, actually, he came by for a loan to get some landscaping done. Putting in a new pond for his kids. He went right up to the new girl we hired last month, Patricia Wack. She's going to go somewhere in this business, mark my words. Real keen eye for figures, a total natural. Kermit always likes to introduce himself to new people, he's always been friendly like that. He goes up, gives her a 'Hi-ho' and his account number, tells her exactly how much money he needs and how it's going to be spent, and hands her some old thing, I think it was a golf trophy. Patty, she just gives him a big smile, gives him the old 'I've got to speak to my manager' line and comes running into my office. First time I'd seen her flustered since she started. Says there's a frog outside who wants a loan, holds up the trophy and asks me what it's supposed to be.
What could I tell her? "It's a knickknack, Patty Wack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
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