The Joke Thread -

Patrick Vykkers · #31 06-27-2006, 08:52 PM

Answer: Because the grass is always greener on the other side, therefore, fewer people would need gardening service.

Leto · #32 06-27-2006, 11:52 PM

:

What do you get when you stab a baby?

AN ERECTION!

Fantabulous.

What did a woman say to you when she peeped your penorz? "Is it cold or am I just ugly?".

***Nate*** · #33 06-28-2006, 06:53 AM

:

Sorry I haven't been here in a while, I was off making my own forum. Anyway, the answer is 7.

Hang on; being away for 24 hours is being away for a while?!

But kudos for the answer. It made me choke and laugh simultaneously.

Lord Vulcher · #34 06-28-2006, 08:08 AM

:

Hang on; being away for 24 hours is being away for a while?!

But kudos for the answer. It made me choke and laugh simultaneously.

Sorry, I exaggerated. Well, back to the jokes. The ones I have heard so far are really good. Well done!

OANST · #35 06-28-2006, 10:21 AM

What is the worst part of having a four year old girlfriend?

Getting the blood off of your clown costume.

Lord Vulcher · #36 06-28-2006, 10:24 AM

:

What is the worst part of having a four year old girlfriend?

Getting the blood off of your clown costume.

I don't get it.

OANST · #37 06-28-2006, 10:25 AM

Good. I didn't want you to.

Lord Vulcher · #38 06-28-2006, 10:27 AM

:

Good. I didn't want you to.

Oh very funny.

OANST · #39 06-28-2006, 10:32 AM

Thanks. I appreciate your validation. I was really hoping for it.

used:) · #40 06-28-2006, 10:35 AM

Oanst, you have one of the most derranged senses of humor I have ever seen, and I commend you for it.

Lord Vulcher · #41 06-28-2006, 10:35 AM

:

Thanks. I appreciate your validation. I was really hoping for it.

You're the right sort of person for my forum. To go there click on the link in my signature.

Lord Vulcher · #42 06-28-2006, 10:36 AM

:

Thanks. I appreciate your validation. I was really hoping for it.

You're the right sort of person for my forum. To go there click on the link in my signature.

Lord Vulcher · #43 06-28-2006, 10:36 AM

:

Thanks. I appreciate your validation. I was really hoping for it.

You're the right sort of person for my forum. To go there click on the link in my signature.

used:) · #44 06-28-2006, 10:38 AM

Wow, great job at clicking the post button three times.

Lord Vulcher · #45 06-28-2006, 10:39 AM

:

Wow, great job at clicking the post button three times.

Oh no! Will a Moderator please delete the last two posts?

Statikk HDM · #46 06-28-2006, 07:05 PM

Anybody know any Yo Momma jokes? My favorite has to be
"Yo momma so stupid when yo Daddy said "I wanna eat your pussy!" she broasted the cat.

used:) · #47 06-28-2006, 07:18 PM

I love Yo Mamma jokes, I hate Ur Mom jokes. They're not even jokes, they're just a stupid pop culture replies to anything people say these days.

E'l Scrabino · #48 06-28-2006, 11:42 PM

Oh gawd, i'm dieing from laughter!

But i gots a joke! But...heehee...i...hahahaho...*dies*

A hunter successfully kills a deer and brings it home for dinner, but he knows his kids are picky eaters and won't eat it if they knew what it was.
So near dinner time, his son say, "Dad, what's for supper?" and the dad replies, "You'll see..." and half-way through dinner, his daughter this time says, "what are we having, Dad?" and the dad says, "I'll give you a hint, it's what Mummy sometimes calls me." "OH MY GOD WE'RE EATING ASSHOLE!" screams the daughter!

Good, eh?

Lord Vulcher · #49 06-29-2006, 07:08 AM

:

Oh gawd, i'm dieing from laughter!

But i gots a joke! But...heehee...i...hahahaho...*dies*

A hunter successfully kills a deer and brings it home for dinner, but he knows his kids are picky eaters and won't eat it if they knew what it was.
So near dinner time, his son say, "Dad, what's for supper?" and the dad replies, "You'll see..." and half-way through dinner, his daughter this time says, "what are we having, Dad?" and the dad says, "I'll give you a hint, it's what Mummy sometimes calls me." "OH MY GOD WE'RE EATING ASSHOLE!" screams the daughter!

Good, eh?

Now that is funny.

Statikk HDM · #50 06-29-2006, 11:12 AM

Asshole: Its whats for dinner!

E'l Scrabino · #51 06-29-2006, 07:14 PM

Yay people like my (stolen) jokes

!

A factory decides to hire a new CEO, just to shake things up.
The new CEO is the real deal, and he wants to show everyone he means buisness. So whilst he's walking through the factory, he sees a guy leaning on a wall while everyone else is working, so the CEO thinks this is the right time to show everyone that he takes no crap, and asks the guy on the wall, "How much do you earn in a week?" the guy then replies, "$100.00 a week, sir." so the CEO then digs in his pockets, pulls out some money and hands it to the guy, "Here's two weeks pay now get out of here and don't ever come back!" so the guy grabs the money and walks away, never to return, and the CEO asks one of the workers, "You mind telling me what that guy was 'sposed to be doing here?" "Nothing much," says the worker with a sheepish grin "He was a delivery guy from pizza hut!"

Good or what?

Daxter King · #52 06-29-2006, 10:22 PM

Scrabino the first joke was hilarious, but the second not so much.

Lord Vulcher · #53 06-30-2006, 04:51 AM

You're going to be great on the forum El Scrabino.

Statikk HDM · #54 06-30-2006, 04:18 PM

Duly noted in my sig. If this place had a draft I would have traded up for him.
What do caviar and Michael Jackson have in common?
They're both black and come on little white crackers.

skillya_glowi · #55 06-30-2006, 08:24 PM

:

Oh gawd, i'm dieing from laughter!

But i gots a joke! But...heehee...i...hahahaho...*dies*

A hunter successfully kills a deer and brings it home for dinner, but he knows his kids are picky eaters and won't eat it if they knew what it was.
So near dinner time, his son say, "Dad, what's for supper?" and the dad replies, "You'll see..." and half-way through dinner, his daughter this time says, "what are we having, Dad?" and the dad says, "I'll give you a hint, it's what Mummy sometimes calls me." "OH MY GOD WE'RE EATING ASSHOLE!" screams the daughter!

Good, eh?

She calls him venison?

Kimon · #56 06-30-2006, 09:04 PM

:

She calls him venison?

She calls him "Dear", silly.

E'l Scrabino · #57 06-30-2006, 11:33 PM

:

Duly noted in my sig. If this place had a draft I would have traded up for him.

I don't understand that

:

You're gonna be great on the forum, E'l Scrabino...

Indeed i shall...

And so this isn't classed as

, i shall post a joke!

Two cowboys come upon an indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground, "See that indian?" says one cowboy to another, "Yep" replies the other, "Well, he is listening to the ground, he can here stuff from miles in any direction!" says the first cowboy, then the indian looks up, "Covered wagon" he says, "About 2 miles away. Have 2 horses, one white, one brown with white spots. White man, woman, and child. Household effects inside."
"Wow!" says one cowboy, "He knows what kind of wagon, how far away it is, what colour the people are on it, how many people and horses, the colour of the horses, and what's inside the wagon!" "Ran over me about half an hour ago." says the indian...

Statikk HDM · #58 07-01-2006, 08:39 AM

Religious Theme Days at Amusement Parks(Saw at Fark)
On Amish Day, they just take the signs and put them in front of a hay field and pretend that that's where the park has always been.

On Catholic Day, you must have this many kids in order to ride.

On Jewish Day, everything's so expensive and it's so hot and the lines are so long and they call this a bagel?!?!?!?

On Raelian Day, the lines are short and the refreshments are free.

Aryan Day and Mormon Day are held concurrently. So far, no one has noticed.

OANST · #59 07-01-2006, 11:41 AM

Only problem with that joke is that the Raelians aren't the poisoned kool aid people which is what that implies. Other than that it was pretty funny.

Havoc · #60 07-01-2006, 05:50 PM

I love Yo Momma jokes!

Yo Momma is SO FAT! They had to evacuate the beach because she wanted to roll over! BOOM!

Yo Momma is SO FAT! When she takes a dive in the ocean, the entire eastern shore will be whiped out!