The NEW! Sex Thread

[Ridg3]

How do you have a sort of kind of threesome? Details, woman!

This.

[Goresplatter]

How do you have a sort of kind of threesome? Details, woman!

This. Just noticed you avoided my question.

[Bullet Magnet]

You should stick to your twosomes and be grateful for it.

[T-nex]

To be fair, some people ARE strictly monogamous, and do not function well with a polyamorous person. This can be both guys or girls. And no, not all guys get off on their gf doing it with another girl. If one acknowledges the polyamorous side of things, they must acknowledge monogamy too.

Also no details for YOU mistah.... Some things are better left for imagination!... wait.. no. Dont.

Edit: BM, people should stick to what makes them happy.

[Goresplatter]

Also no details for YOU mistah.... Some things are better left for imagination!... wait.. no. Dont.

Then I shall proceed to assume the worst, for sheer amusement.

Perhaps it was only 'sort of' a threesome, because the other participant was, in fact, dead? Yes, that is the ONLY possibility! You must be sick!

[Disgruntled Intern]

In my opinion humans have never been and never will be monogamous, no matter how much people try to pretend that they are. Every person, male or female, looks at the sex they are attracted to no matter if they are in relationship. And especially a lot of males would jump at the opportunity to have sex with a woman they have been eyeing for a while, if their partner gave them sincere permission.

This sort of attitude is exactly why so many men have had to fight to assure their partners that they're dedicated to them. Do I find other women attractive or aesthetically pleasing? Sure, human nature. Would I 'jump at the opportunity to have sex with a woman' if Dorian gave me permission? Fuck no. Why? Because it defeats the purpose of being in a committed relationship, and more importantly, being married to her. I guess this is just where my old fashioned morals come into play, but the idea of 'open relationships' just seem fucking stupid and selfish to me. I mean it's basically one person settling for less so that they can go out and chase tail to their hearts content and maybe bag someone who's way out of their league [but would never date them in the first place], but it's okay, because you have your 'open relationship' to go back to, so you're never really alone. Meh. If it works for you guys, awesome, be happy. But I've had friends who have done and are doing the same thing, and they always seem inherently lonely to me, even when they're in a relationship with someone else.

@DI

Actually I think that to say that threesomes and relationships are problematic is unfair. Maybe for the majority it's problematic because most people don't know what on earth they are doing, or they are strictly monogamous. But if a relationship has enough openness and trust and good communication it can work. Different kinks for different people, right?
What about those swingers? They seem to be enjoying themselves a lot. In fact I've heard about many relationships where it seems to work.
I think me and Chris had a sort of kind of threesome once, but I dunno if it counts. It was a bit weird. But we never felt bad about it. I enjoyed it.

So to say that there's one truth and one truth only regarding relationships(Im not saying you said this) is wrong. But some people are strictly monogamous, while others feel good and able to play with more partners. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with either scenario as long as people enjoy themselves and aren't having problems out of it.

But maybe Im not one to talk considering im quite unconventional x_x


Edit: Yet again, I said too much, didn't I?

My original comment was meant to state that threesomes and committed relationships, which in my mind are monogamous, don't mix. No matter how hard you try to explain it to me I'll never understand how committed you can be to someone if you're cool with them having sex with another person. A casual relationship? Fine, been there, done that. But to say you love a person, and pat them on the back as they're on the way out the door to go have sex with another person? Utterly foreign to me.

Swingers are a breed of their own. I think boredom is a huge factor there, but that's my own personal opinion.

[JennyGenesis]

When my boyfriend was here then we would not sleep with others unless it was a threesome (which hasent happened, yes my post did say I aranged one but things got in the way)

My original comment was meant to state that threesomes and committed relationships, which in my mind are monogamous, don't mix. No matter how hard you try to explain it to me I'll never understand how committed you can be to someone if you're cool with them having sex with another person. A casual relationship? Fine, been there, done that. But to say you love a person, and pat them on the back as they're on the way out the door to go have sex with another person? Utterly foreign to me.

Now he's away for the summer. We have given each other permission to go off for some fun, but whether we choose to actually do that is another thing, so far we haven't. If he does then I won't mind, because I know it will just be a one off and that he still loves me.

[T-nex]

This sort of attitude is exactly why so many men have had to fight to assure their partners that they're dedicated to them. Do I find other women attractive or aesthetically pleasing? Sure, human nature. Would I 'jump at the opportunity to have sex with a woman' if Dorian gave me permission? Fuck no. Why? Because it defeats the purpose of being in a committed relationship, and more importantly, being married to her. I guess this is just where my old fashioned morals come into play, but the idea of 'open relationships' just seem fucking stupid and selfish to me. I mean it's basically one person settling for less so that they can go out and chase tail to their hearts content and maybe bag someone who's way out of their league [but would never date them in the first place], but it's okay, because you have your 'open relationship' to go back to, so you're never really alone. Meh. If it works for you guys, awesome, be happy. But I've had friends who have done and are doing the same thing, and they always seem inherently lonely to me, even when they're in a relationship with someone else.



My original comment was meant to state that threesomes and committed relationships, which in my mind are monogamous, don't mix. No matter how hard you try to explain it to me I'll never understand how committed you can be to someone if you're cool with them having sex with another person. A casual relationship? Fine, been there, done that. But to say you love a person, and pat them on the back as they're on the way out the door to go have sex with another person? Utterly foreign to me.

Swingers are a breed of their own. I think boredom is a huge factor there, but that's my own personal opinion.

But just because you don't understand something doesn't make it true. It's true that for you, such a dynamic would never work, and people should respect that. But in return you should also be open to the fact that other people have a completely different mindset.
So that means that for YOU threesomes wouldn't work. But for others it adds great pleasure and excitement to their life. Maybe it is boredom, but different people have different likes and dislike. And some people like experimenting sexually. Meaning, if they dont get the sexual exploration they so desire, they might actually get bored.
Nothing wrong with monogamous, or poly people in my opinion. none at all.

And, telling you this is probably going to lower your opinion of me and my relationship. But I was the one who initially encouraged Chris to experiment with other people if he desired. Personally I find it quite hot, and despite everything, I know we have a deep bond that is impenetrable. I know this from the bottom of my heart.

So there you have an example of how people can be totally different, and still function.

I just ask that you be open minded and realize that people get happiness and pleasure from different things. And what might not work for one person, might be gold for the other.

[Jordan]

I'm gonna agree with DI. I see little point in letting your partner go off to sleep with someone else. I'd want to have my partner all to myself, and I'd be extremely happy with that. I have a lot more to say on this matter, but I've expressed it on another site a few times and I'm tired of repeating myself.

[T-nex]

Yes Jordan, but because you are happy that way, doesn't mean everyone is.

[Ridg3]

If my missus suggested (during a period we're apart) that it's okay to see other people, I would go ape-shit insane with her. I would automatically think that she's been doing the dirty on me and feeling so guilty about it she suggests that I could go and defile someone else. I think for someone to suggest that to you they're already thinking about hooking up with someone else in the first place and just looking for your say so by saying that you're allowed to sleep with other people as well.

I'm with DI on this one. What's the point in being in a relationship if you're going in it with the intention of having sex with someone else down the line. Open-relationships are alien to me, and I never liked the sound of it. It would be situations like that where I would either get really possessive or really spiteful and that isn't good chemistry for a healthy relationship. In my own opinion.

[Jordan]

I'm not condemning other people for doing it. I don't understand it, but if it makes them happy then so be it. I'm sorry if I came across as a twat there.

I wouldn't like it if I had a partner that proposed an open relationship. >_<

[Wings of Fire]

I think there's something to be said for suddenly turning round to your partner and saying 'How about threesomes then?'

It's subverting the premises a commited relationship is built on. If you want an open relationship then anything less than letting your partner know about it before or as soon as you get into a relationship is like changing the rules of a game halfway through.

AKA: Cheating.

[T-nex]

If my missus suggested (during a period we're apart) that it's okay to see other people, I would go ape-shit insane with her. I would automatically think that she's been doing the dirty on me and feeling so guilty about it she suggests that I could go and defile someone else. I think for someone to suggest that to you they're already thinking about hooking up with someone else in the first place and just looking for your say so by saying that you're allowed to sleep with other people as well.

Well I can tell you in my case, this wasn't true, and that wasn't the reason I suggested it to Chris. :)

[JennyGenesis]

I think there's something to be said for suddenly turning round to your partner and saying 'How about threesomes then?'

How else do you do it then?

I only asked because it's something I've never done before and I want to try. If I was told no then I wouldn't ask again. But it's always nice to know whether your partner would be up for it.

[Wings of Fire]

How else do you do it then?

Well I'm currently in an open relationship and the subject of the openess of said relationship was brought up by my boyfriend and I whilst we were both coming together.

There's very little you can do to not make a request for a threesome sound like 'I'm growing disinterested in you' and girls take that very very badly.

[Ridg3]

Well I can tell you in my case, this wasn't true, and that wasn't the reason I suggested it to Chris.

Oh, this is just what I would think if someone suggested it to me. I know that there is people that do it and are happy with it... like yourself. I would just be terribly offended if I was offered it.

[Jordan]

Bring a lady or a gentleman into the bedroom and throw them at your partner. See how things go from there

[T-nex]

I wanna throw gentlemen at people That'd be fun. Like... Pillow-fight style.

[Disgruntled Intern]

Threesomes + long term relationship = problematic. The fact that you want to have sex with another girl is already a sign that you're not totally committed to your partner, and she'll take note of that. Anyway, threesomes and relationships are just bad. Eventually feelings wind up getting involved, and someone gets hurt. Then there are trust and jealousy issues, as well as major intimacy boundaries that are being broken. If it was something she was into, or something you really wanted, it seems like one of you should have mentioned it early on, not a year and a half after the fact.

Also, put yourself in her shoes. If she asked you to have a threesome with another man, would you be okay with it? I'm sure you're going to spout off about how it would be 'gay', or how it's different because there would be another penis involved, but the principles are exactly the same.

I think there's something to be said for suddenly turning round to your partner and saying 'How about threesomes then?'

It's subverting the premises a commited relationship is built on. If you want an open relationship then anything less than letting your partner know about it before or as soon as you get into a relationship is like changing the rules of a game halfway through.

AKA: Cheating.

Well I'm currently in an open relationship and the subject of the openess of said relationship was brought up by my boyfriend and I whilst we were both coming together.

There's very little you can do to not make a request for a threesome sound like 'I'm growing disinterested in you' and girls take that very very badly.

WoF always manages to find a nicer way of saying what I was trying to say. Thanks/God Damn you for that.

But just because you don't understand something doesn't make it true. It's true that for you, such a dynamic would never work, and people should respect that. But in return you should also be open to the fact that other people have a completely different mindset.
So that means that for YOU threesomes wouldn't work. But for others it adds great pleasure and excitement to their life. Maybe it is boredom, but different people have different likes and dislike. And some people like experimenting sexually. Meaning, if they dont get the sexual exploration they so desire, they might actually get bored.
Nothing wrong with monogamous, or poly people in my opinion. none at all.

And, telling you this is probably going to lower your opinion of me and my relationship. But I was the one who initially encouraged Chris to experiment with other people if he desired. Personally I find it quite hot, and despite everything, I know we have a deep bond that is impenetrable. I know this from the bottom of my heart.

So there you have an example of how people can be totally different, and still function.

I just ask that you be open minded and realize that people get happiness and pleasure from different things. And what might not work for one person, might be gold for the other.

Haha, 'lower my opinion' of your relationship? I don't care about your relationship. I wasn't trying to personally attack what you and Chris may or may not do, but as per usual, you've found a way to take what I've said personally. Let me make something clear: I really don't give a fuck what any of you do with your lives. As long as you're not abusing children or animals, have fun. Okay?

Anyway, something you said seemed pretty contradictory : "Maybe it is boredom, but different people have different likes and dislike. And some people like experimenting sexually. Meaning, if they dont get the sexual exploration they so desire, they might actually get bored. "

Okay, wait. I'm all for sexual exploration and figuring out what defines you as a sexual being, blah blah. But to bring another person, a person you're committed to, into that exploration, isn't always fair. Is it fun? Sure. But what happens when one person likes something, or someone, more than the other partner? Someones feelings get hurt, and someone will get left in the dust. Exploration and definition should be done casually and early on, not in the midst of a relationship where another persons feelings are potentially at stake. And boredom? Really? If boredom is the deciding factor for a couple having a threesome, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. If you're so fucking bored with the person you're with that you need to bring another body into the mix, why are you wasting each others time? Again, it seems selfish.

So you can say that I'm being condemning. I don't care what you want to call it. I don't think threesomes are wrong, and I applaud and encourage people to explore their sexuality. However, I wish they would all do so in a manner that poses no risk to anyone else. Ideally, this would be outside of a relationship.

But whatever, agree to disagree.

[Havoc]

What's the point in being in a relationship if you're going in it with the intention of having sex with someone else down the line.

You assume sex is the only reason people stay together, which is simply not true. While sex serves as a very strong motivator for relationships to form, it isn't the sole thing keeping the relationship together.

My and my GF for instance have had a short period where we desperately tried to fight the urge to sex with others because we were afraid it would destroy our relationship. In the meantime that same urge started to tear up our relationship from the inside. Eventually we came to the conclusion that we were both unhappy with being cooped in with each other, but at the same time didn't want to lose each other for anything either. Like I said, our sex life is outstanding on any scale I can think of, so that certainly wasn't the problem either.

When we agreed to an open relationship the relationship immediately intensified hugely. Our sex, against all expectations, got even better as did our love for each other. So in my case, so far it's been all good. No downside except maybe the curiosity as to who exactly she's doing and how. But we generally tell each other those stories at some point, that's how open we are about this.

I think the problem that most people have with the idea of a threesome/open relationship is the assumption that someone always gets hurt. And what DI said is certainly true. Propose it to the wrong person and it will completely wreck your relationship. This is why threesomes and open relationships only have a chance at working if you're both open to the idea from the get go. It's not something either one person should have to get used to after months or years of steady relationship. It has to come natural or not at all.

[Ridg3]

I didn't say that sex is the only reason that relationships stick. I'm just saying that something as intimate as sex should be kept within the relationship, and as I said before, that's just my opinion and I'm not going to condemn anyone who doesn't feel that way.

Put it this way. I would feel fucking betrayed by my girlfriend sleeping with someone else on the same level I would if they were emotionally intimate together. It's just the way I am.

[Havoc]

Well you'd have every right to feel betrayed if you didn't approve it to begin with.

[Goresplatter]

You assume sex is the only reason people stay together, which is simply not true. While sex serves as a very strong motivator for relationships to form, it isn't the sole thing keeping the relationship together.

This. Sex is not neccessarily love, and vice versa.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not enough of a scumbag to just blatantly cheat. And if it was simply because I don't love her and fancy knocking on someone elses' boots then I'd end the relationship, because it wouldn't be fair to lead her on as to it being any different anyway. But, fact is, I love her. We have great sex, I'm just a little curious about trying some stuff out. Seems fair enough to me, it's not like I'm going to tear down the relationship over it.

[T-nex]

I meant that boredom could be a factor the same way that an artist gets bored if they don't create.

Anyway it doesn't matter. x_x If both parties agree to a certain dynamic that works for them, then that's what counts.

I just hope everyone is happy and all is well =)

[Havoc]

Also no details for YOU mistah.... Some things are better left for imagination!... wait.. no. Dont.

Too late

[Goresplatter]

Well it's settled then. Next on the agenda: OWF Orgy 2011, when and where?

[Havoc]

Only if Nexy and Skilya Glowi are there. I have debts to collect.

[T-nex]

Creep!

[Havoc]

Oh I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd want to join, being in a relationship and all hating my guts and all.

I kid, I kid, no worries