SLIG'S WEIRD!

[AlexFili]

Issue 5 rocks. The spelling mistake is in the motto I think or maybe it's meant to be like that

[Oddey]

I think it's meant to be that way as well.

[joshkrz]

I was thinking about finding some kind of background, but all the oddworld related ones have Abe in them.
I don't get you wrong, but I do use MS Paint.

What spelling mistake? Yeah, sorry about the red text on slig, but I felt it didn't fit in any other colour.


With MS Paint, that is impossible. I can't get the gimp to install, but if I could I'd use that.

And thank you. The text kind of decides it for me, if you know what I mean.

And it's time to work on the next cover for issue five. And right back at you MA.

ah sorry i didnt know, thats a great job with mspint!

[MA]

Issue: 6

FeeCo Depot ridiculous working hours

A reliable source has informed us of the phenomenally long hours of poor FeeCo Depot slig train drivers. The sligs are forced to pick up and drop off cargo at industries as far as Magog Motors!

They must drive through most of the night, and all day everyday. Its only a matter of time before there is a massive collision. We asked Vice President Aslik for a few words;

"I'm sorry? I dont think thats any of your business! Who are you again?"

REPORTER: "A reporter for SLIG'S WEIRD!"

"Slig's weird? Huh! You might be a good seller, but you haven't got class. The Daily Deception will always be above you. Now I've had enough of you, goodbye."

MAG: Smarmy git.

The sligs work, on average, 18 hours a day, from 6:00 am - midnight. They must eat their lunch whilst driving, and cannot leave the cabin uness they are unloading cargo or performing engineering tasks.

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-ADVERT FINISH-

WELCOME TO OUR NEW SECTION!

MAD BUT TRUE ANIMALS!

We have recently recieved a flood of letters containing crazy stories about animals that you, the readers, claim to have seen, heard of or experienced. Please feel free to let us know of your nutty stories about animals.

Also, we may get some 'exaggerated' stlories if you know what we mean, and our editor (Rozzle) will try to point these out (he is the one making the MAG: comments).

1.) I was overseeing mudokons loading meat into barrels in the packaging section of Rupture Farms when I saw something unbelievable. This one barrel just exploded, and a scrab came prancing out of it! It was one of the apparent empty barrels that some unfortunate mud was just about to load. Anyway, this scrab just ran up the gangway between the conveyor belts, stopped and just died on the spot! Crazy!

MAG: Our first entry.

-----

THE BLOODY D.F.W. LEAGUE

Well they have begun their, not reign of terror, but reign of annoyance. They stated today, via a NATIVE MUDOKON, that they have their eye on many businesses on Mudos and will stop at nothing to rectify injustices and animal cruelty.

MAG: Oooh, we're really scared.

How they can have the nerve to use a native mudokon as a spokesperson is beyond us. To be honest they should be ashamed of themselves, whoever they are.

The frustrating thing is we dont even know eho they are! Glukkons? Sligs? Vykkers? Chroniclers?! Hell, mudokons? Who knows, and like we said before, WHO CARES! If anyone working for the D.F.W. League is reading this in aticipation of seeing your little business statement in print, just pass the magazine to your superior and tell them to read this next bit.

WE DONT CARE! Do us a favour and shut down! Use what little moolah you have left to go on holiday to Paramonia where you'll hopefully be wrapped up and eaten alive by paramites.

And lets makes sure one thing is clear. We only print information about your corporation in the hope that some pyromaniac crazy will burn you down. Respected industries like Bonewerkz, Slig Barracks and Flub Fuels have been through enough strife without you on their back. Go away. You are not respected and never will be.

MAG: End of SLIG'S WEIRD! rant.

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Words With Kroloff

YES! Its time to hear our sergeant Kroloff’s words of wisdom, expert in weapons, combat and hunting, with over 16 years experience, and currently stationed at a small slig outpost in Scrabania. But he still has time to answer your questions!

Anonymous: Hey Kroloff, I spent 2 years in Slig Barracks before i was transferred to this small brewery, so I wasnt taught any close quarters physical combat skills. Could you tell me a move or two? The mudokons where I work are quite rowdy so I need something to put them in their place without killing them.

Kroloff: Of course I will. I was taught this move 12 years ago by a friend the day before I was sent with a squad to recapture escaped prisoners from a detention centre local to Slig Barracks. The move isnt officially millitary, but hell it works! Let the target attempt to punch you, but grab the fist wth your fingers underneath theirs (thats quite tricky), twist using your whole arm, and quickly force the whole arm down hard, making the target elbow themselves in the stomach. Finish off by pushing the fist your holding into the targets face, the leverage of the arm is perfect for this. The target will be dazed, then do what you like to them!

-----

RUBBISH JOKES!

1.) How can you tell how clever a slig is?
A: Ask him how tall he is in feet and convert that number for his IQ!
By: Loddy.

MAG: I have a feeling that one was sent in by a mud.

2.) Why should you push over a Scrab when drunk?
A: They are armless!
By: Anonymous.

3.) What has 16 fingers, 9 legs, 27 razor sharp teeth and a bad attitude?
A: I dunno but its just escaped from Vykkers Labs!
By: Dost.

THIS ISSUES WINNER IS: The anonymous sender of the classic joke No: 2, but we have your work place address so expect your 50 moolah in the post!

-----

COMMERCIAL & PERSONAL AD'S:

> Old pair of mechanical legs for sale, 6 years old. 25 moolah.
TEL: 0182 743 986

> SLOG TEAM WANTED for occasional search of sewer pipes at a detention centre just outside of Soulstorm Brewery for escaped inmates. Permanent job, but only get paid once you perform a search. 100 moolah per search.
TEL: 0182 322 456

> Wild scrab wanted to fight against slogs in a betting ring. The more vicious the better! Needs to be in good condition, strong and healthy. Will only give out location to serious enquiries. If we buy it, we guarantee a payment of 250 moolah.
TEL: 0182 541 888

MAG: If the D.F.W. League see's that they'll throw a hissy fit!

-----

WELL WISHES!

Hi, I would like to raise a glass to my pal, Barrow. He's a veteran Slig who just retired this week. He was an awesome captain and will be greatly missed in the barracks.

SLIG'S WEIRD! magazine staff:

Writers: Stevix
Editor: Rozzle
Reporters: CANNOT BE NAMED
Receptionist: Coth
Chief coffee maker: Roldy
Magog Cartel law specialiser: Chronicler Sphenixson
Slig security: Font
Len
Disue
Vilt
Hond
Owner: Stevix

"No news is good news. I'm afraid I cannot believe in this motto in my position." - Stevix.

If you wish to have anything published (jokes, interveiws, complaints, birthday wishes, information, etc), then PM mollucks assistant and he will personally make sure it is included in the next issue of SLIG'S WEIRD!

Thanks for reading!

-----

credit goes to AlexFili for providing the scrab joke and the well wishes request.

[Oddey]

Unfortunatly, I saved my covers as JPEG so expect not so great quality. I think you'll be able to make it all out though.

Fortunatly, MA's issues are getting even better.

[AlexFili]

Awesome! How do you write so much in such a short space of time?

[STM]

ah my MOM didnt get in =*(

[MA]

it did, its in Issue: 5, the one before this one. page 1.

[joshkrz]

oh btw, oddey, feel free to use the logo i made for M.A. in your front covers. Loyalty Free .

And if you save your covers as PNG its a lossless 32bit image (might be 24 on paint), bit heavy on the filesize though

[STM]

ta lol

[MA]

Issue: 7

NEW INDUSTRY!

Due to popular demand for Soulstorm Brew, and Bonewerkz needing more bonepowder to meet the demands of Soulstorm Brewery, a new industry has set up named Soulstorm Mining Co. It would appear Rupture Farms bones are not enough anymore.

They are stationed on the edge of Necrum where they are mining for bones to chip in on the expensive needs of an industry that would otherwise faulter, and who can blame them?

The manager was very busy at the time of our arrival so we couldnt get a statement from him, but we asked his PA slig for any information;

"Yeah, well seeing as we're pretty new we dont wanna let anything out yet. We could still get squashed by a bigger corporation."

REPORTER: "Has Brewmaster or Director Phleg contributed to your funds in starting up this new industry? It would be in their interest."

"Well as far as I know, Director Phleg hasnt because he isnt too high on moolah at the moment due to his low production of bonepowder. Hopefully our input will boost this. And Brewmaster has actually supplied us with a confidential amount of moolah to speed up the building process. We've already started mining even though we havent finished the mainframe yet."

REPORTER: "How much will the other companies benefit from your presence?"

"It's a whole chain reaction: us and Rupture Farms supply the bones, if we cant supply enough we dont get paid as much by Bonewerkz for the low amount. Then Bonewerkz doesnt gain much profit from Soulstorm Brewery when they supply the bonepowder because there isnt enough to meet demands, and finally Soulstorm Brewery hit the rocks seeing as they cannot supply enough brew for consumer purchase. Soulstorm Brewery has it the worst, believe it or not; they may not even get any profit from their sales after paying for the bonepowder seeing as their sales are down, even though they could be so much higher, if you know what I mean. In other words, we are quite crucial, now anyway."

REPORTER: "Ok, thank you."

We are expecting this to be a lifeline for Soulstorm Brewery.

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1 tin contains enough high energy slog food for 1 slog
The effects last for 12 hours, 15 minutes after consumption

DIAL:
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It is advised you do not feed the slog more than one tin every 12 hours otherwise you may incur side effects, including hyperactivity. All other side effects vary but are all minor. Do not feed to any other animal apart from slogs.

-ADVERT FINISH-

M.O.M – News you cannot refuse – By the Scrabtrapman

ISSUE2: UPRISINGS ROLL

The uprisings in the outer rim are snowballing as the big bro’s go down, our poor over sized, drugged up brothers, Dripik has just confirmed that there has never actually been a war he has fought in, he only got general by default, what a shmuck!

Casualties have risen to around 600 sligs, the mudokons have a three to one kill ratio and have set up a small village for defence, mudarchers are on constant guard in strategic positions around the perimeter.

In a side story, the meat plant that no one cares about has made a stunning profit increase of 150%, we will now name it as Mudos Mill Meat Plant, the Glukkon owner is still to be found.

This report was sent to you by Scrabtrapman our very own frontline reporter and was sponsored by Elum Chubs, lip smackingly sticky!

-----

MAD BUT TRUE ANIMALS!

1.) Sloggies today at Bonewerkz saw a picture of a meech on the wall, and I watched as the sloggies all attacked it at the same time and broke through the wall into the staff room!

MAG: What a load of SH*TE!

-ADVERT-

SLOG SIGHTINGS?

HAVE YOU SEEN ANY ESCAPED PEDIGREE SLOGS AND SLOGGIES BELONGING TO SLOG HUTS?

18 ADULT SLOGS AND 12 SLOGGIES IN THE IMMEDIATE AREA OF A SLOG HUTS DEPOT SOUTH OF SPLINTERZ.

4 SLOGS HAVE BEEN FOUND.

500 MOOLAH REWARD FOR ANY RECOVERY.

RISK OF HEFTY FINE TO ANYONE ATTEMPTING TO FAKE PEDIGREE SLOGS FOR WASTING TIME.

IF YOU SEE ANY SLOGS OR SLOGGIES IN THE VICINITY OF SLOG HUTS CONTACT US ON:

0182 732 733
(1 moolah per min).

-ADVERT FINISH-

THE DAY OF VENGEANCE THAT LEFT 16 DEAD

A violent and bloody riot took place in Magog Motors today caused by savage mudokons. It is estimated that around 25 or more mudokon workers wielded hammers, spanners, screwdrivers and ratchets (one was reported to have used an industrial sized drill) in an attempt to overcome the loyal slig guards.

It is believed that the mudokons were mentally unstable to commit such an act, and grabbed anything at hand to engage their killing spree. We asked a surviving slig guard what his experience was;

"I tell ya, it wasnt pretty. I was on the ground floor by the workbenches when it all kicked off. My mate spun me around by the shoulder and pointed at this rowdy group of mudokons mouthing off to this Big Bro! I thought sh*t! If they're doin that to a Big Bro, who knows what else they'll do! Anyway I shouted at 'em 'Oi! Keep it down and get back to work before I shoot ya!' And then all hell broke loose. The Big Bro was too busy looking at me to realise a mud hit him over the back of the head with...I think it was a hammer. Yeah, he just dropped dead. I didnt have time to look at him though because these mudokons just f*cking charged at us! My mate took about 3 or 4 out with his rifle, and I did about the same. It was bloody frightening with all these crazy muds just running at us with nothin but crude tools and looks of madness on their dirty faces! By now someone had set off the alarms and a line of sligs behind us had formed. We just volleyed mate, opened fire. We mowed half of em down but then the rest reached us and it became a battle of strength and wit. We eventually killed every last b*stard, but they murdered quite a few of us before that. Do you know how many they killed?"

REPORTER: "It was 16."

"Sh*t...well atleast its over."

Magog Motors are taking new security measures to prevent future outbursts.

MAG: Lets see the D.F.W. League try and justify muds now.

-----

Words With Kroloff

YES! Its time to hear our sergeant Kroloff’s words of wisdom, expert in weapons, combat and hunting, with over 16 years experience, and currently stationed at a small slig outpost in Scrabania. But he still has time to answer your questions!

Anonymous: Dear Kroloff, whats the most scrabs you've ever killed in one day? Mines 3 when I was out hunting.

Kroloff: I hope you wasnt poaching! The most scrabs i've killed in one day would be 7, when I was hunting them, about 2 years ago.

Crunch: Hey there Kroloff, i'ts been a long time. Let me know what you think about this whole new D.F.W. League thing. Personally, I think they're a bunch of whiny moolah-grabbers.

Kroloff: Hello there mate, it has been a long time. Well I feel that they are trying to be a respected and well known corporation, yearning for Mudos to be a fair, reasonable and understandable place for industry to thrive whilst trying to turn around the dying and bitter relationship between mudokons and industry. I wish them luck.

That aside, I also think they are a totally unnecessary and pointless industry who need to jump of the corporate ladder and hopefully break their knees when they hit the ground. If they dont even have the decency to reveal themselves and their location to earn a little respect from hard working folks, then they shouldnt exist. Maybe they could have an inspiring story to tell 30 years from now if people knew more about them so that they could tell newbies to the business world that they stood by their statements, took all the abuse throughout the years, succeeded in the face of adversity and actually managed to change things for the better. But instead they make a puny statement and then run away and hide. Its like a slurg telling a Big Bro that if he doesnt change his ways he'll be sorry, and then hiding.

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Come by for a measuring and receive your suit within 3 working days!

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Find us just north of FeeCo Depot.

Call us now to book an appointment:
0182 777 457
(3 moolah per min).

-ADVERT FINISH-

RUBBISH JOKES!

1.) Where do all the mud-lovers go?
A: The D.F.W. League!
By: Wilx

2.) What has 16 fingers, 9 legs, 27 razor sharp teeth and a bad attitude?
A: I dunno but its just escaped from Vykkers Labs!
By: Dost.

MAG: Dost, you have already sent that joke in. Do not take advantage of our policy to print everything we receive.

3.) Knock knock.
Who's there?
Para.
Para-who?
Paramite, who do you think?!

MAG: I am embarrassed of these pitiful jokes. Perhaps thats why we call them 'rubbish'.

THIS ISSUES WINNER IS: Wilx! Well done with that truthfull joke, your 50 moolah is on its way!

-----

COMMERCIAL & PERSONAL AD'S:

> To all Sligs in the Marohey Prison: I just won big in the Scrab Races sweepstake this week, but I don't have any close friends to share my happiness with. With that, I'm holding a little party in the mess tonight.
Bring 1 mate, free booze, party from 6pm to 2am. Lights out at 8pm, so bring night vision goggles.

> SCRAB SHOOTER FOR SALE. Not as good as you think. Reasonable price. 1000 moolah.
TEL: 0182 786 119

> Raunchy chat line, talk to Queen Skillya herself. Dirty talk is allowed but don't get too frisky with her or you'll end up in her soup. Groaning noises are included, (expect these every minute or so, along with a popping noise as the egg comes out).
TEL: 0908 854 533
(5 moolah per minute)

SLIG'S WEIRD! magazine staff:

Writers: Stevix
Editor: Rozzle
Reporters: CANNOT BE NAMED
Receptionist: Coth
Chief coffee maker: Roldy
Magog Cartel law specialiser: Chronicler Sphenixson
Slig security: Font
Len
Disue
Vilt
Hond
Owner: Stevix

"No news is good news. I'm afraid I cannot believe in this motto in my position." - Stevix.

If you wish to have anything published (jokes, interveiws, complaints, birthday wishes, information, etc), then PM mollucks assistant and he will personally make sure it is included in the next issue of SLIG'S WEIRD!

Thanks for reading!

-----

credit goes to AlexFili for providing the party ad and the 'raunchy chat line' ad. Also credit goes to Scrabtrapman for providing the M.O.M. news report.

experience the fun by PM'ing me your contribution!

[Oddey]

Usually, I do save my images as PNG, but in this case, I forgot. Here they are.

[MA]

thanks for those Oddey! keep 'em coming.

Issue: 8

D.F.W. League claim Necrum!

The D.F.W. League are complaining at Soulstorm Mining Co that they are infringing on their territory in Necrum, even though they will not give out details of their exact location.

Soulstorm Mining Co are not backing down and say that they have already settled their boundaries when they first set up, and were not told of any business residing in the Necrum jungle. We asked the manager of Soulstorm Mining Co for his feelings;

"Its absolutely outrageous! We were never told of the D.F.W. Leagues position, therefore they will have to move or just put up with it! Especially since we've only just bloody started up, we dont need this! I am positively seething! Its just one thing after another! Do you know where they are?"

REPORTER: "Necrum, but no more than that."

"Then your just as dumb-founded as the rest of us. If they carry on complaining I'm gonna sue their pathetic little company for every piece of moolah they've got! And I wont give in until there's only ruins left! The ball is in their court now."

We couldnt interview anyone from the D.F.W. League because we simply couldnt find them.

MAG: See, Stevix predicted they would start trouble with new businesses.

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Watch tentatively as mudokons tightrope walk over paramite webbing full of hungry paramites!

Observe the intriguing apothecary of the deceased Vykker scientist Hathlow!

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M.O.M – News you cannot refuse – By the Scrabtrapman

ISSUE3: MYKE’S THE VYK CREATES NEW GUNNER

Myk one of the junior Vykers has just stumbled over a fantastic new weapon to fight the uprisings, shock rocker! The shock rocker is a small pistol like weapon that, when fired, releases a 40ft by 40ft net, once the net touches the floor it channels all natural electricities from the ground and fries anything inside with 120,000 volts! Myk said this “When I tired the fuzzles little eyes literally blew out of there heads, what a mess, I was scrapping up bits of flesh for days”! M.O.M says that’s disgusting!

Mudos Mill Meat Plant or (MMMP) as it is now known is now the third largest meat plant on the entirety of Oddworld the glukkon responsible is none other than a chump named Murg, he has sent us a telegram saying this “I set up this little factory from an old mudokon mill, the Mudokons are happy to work for me and I don’t even have to pay them moolah! Just a bottle of Soulstorm MicroBrew a day!

-----

MAD BUT TRUE ANIMALS!

1.) I have been recently hired by a packaging plant that you may have seen advertising in one of your issues for a professional scrab hunter. Anyway, i am one so I applied. More to the point, yesterday I was attacked by a scrab on the factory's border. I dodged out of the way before it reached me and its beak got caught in the sandstone wall! I never knew that could happen! I used this time to kill it before it got loose again.

MAG: Pretty crazy!

-ADVERT-

SLOG SIGHTINGS?

HAVE YOU SEEN ANY ESCAPED PEDIGREE SLOGS AND SLOGGIES BELONGING TO SLOG HUTS?

15 ADULT SLOGS AND 12 SLOGGIES IN THE IMMEDIATE AREA OF A SLOG HUTS DEPOT SOUTH OF SPLINTERZ.

7 SLOGS HAVE BEEN FOUND.

500 MOOLAH REWARD FOR ANY RECOVERY.

RISK OF HEFTY FINE TO ANYONE ATTEMPTING TO FAKE PEDIGREE SLOGS FOR WASTING TIME.

IF YOU SEE ANY SLOGS OR SLOGGIES IN THE VICINITY OF SLOG HUTS CONTACT US ON:

0182 732 733
(1 moolah per min).

MAG: Readers, you'll be glad to know that this is the last advertisement you'll see from Slog Huts, the contract Stevix had with them has expired...at last.

-ADVERT FINISH-

WIND 'EM UP, FUN!

That's right! WOOHOO! Its time for Wind 'em up, fun! The first in the history of SLIG'S WEIRD! where we wind up famous, rich and important people, and record their every word! Lets begin...

We decided to have a little fun with Brewmaster, and make out the reporter was stupid (when we managed to convince him to have an interview). Here's how it went;

REPORTER: "We would like to know your thoughts on the new industry Soulstorm Mining Co and how it will effect your business?"

"Well they will help Bonewerkz, definately, therefore help us. We have had our ups and downs with Bonewerkz before, but they -"

REPORTER: "Why were you on a roller coaster?"

"What?"

REPORTER: "You just said you were going up and down, did you have an irregular growth spurt or something?"

"What the hell are you babbling on about?!"

REPORTER: "Oh I get you now, you meant in terms of sales! Sorry, please continue."

(Clears throat) "We have had some ups and downs with them, but they have remained loyal, probably because they would have nowhere else to find business in bone powder anyway, but -"

REPORTER: "What do you mean 'business in bone powder'? Had a slog sh*t in it?"

"Are you simple?! And how dare you swear at me! I could have you down-sized quicker than you could say what you just said!"

REPORTER: "What? Slog sh*t?"

"Stop it!! Thats it! Interview terminated!"
Brewmaster begins to leave the room.
"I'm not talking to some stupid, foul-mouthed cretin -"

REPORTER: "Whats a cretin? Is it some sort of mollusc?"

Brewmaster begins to rant incoherently as he leaves the room.

REPORTER: "Brewmaster? BREWMASTER?"

"Stop shouting me! You, slig, get 'em outta here! NOW!"

We were then forcefully vacated from the premises.

MAG: Brewmaster is just a riot. I doubt he will have much to do with us now.

-----

Words With Kroloff

YES! Its time to hear our sergeant Kroloff’s words of wisdom, expert in weapons, combat and hunting, with over 16 years experience, and currently stationed at a small slig outpost in Scrabania. But he still has time to answer your questions!

Anonymous: Hello Kroloff, have you ever had to shoot another slig as part of a firing squad? And if so, is there a technique?

Kroloff: Yes, 5 years ago I was stationed in Paramonia, and I was elected to be a member of the firing squad. I killed about 12 other fellow sligs in 2 years before I was transferred. Its pretty simple, just point and pull. Aim for the stomach rather than the head, your less likely to miss and if the rest of the firing squad does the same it will definately kill the accused. There's nothing worse than seeing another slig tied to a post, bleeding but not quite dead, believe me.

-----

RUBBISH JOKES!

1.) Where can you find a rabble of angry, blood thirst muds?
A: In Magog Motors!
By: Crunch.

MAG: We apolagise for this joke, it is uncalled for. Crunch thinks he is indestructable just because he knows Kroloff.

2.) What is a few fingers short of a Paramite Pie?
A: An injured paramite!
By: Heslof

3.) What has 16 fingers, 9 legs, 27 razor sharp teeth and a bad attitude?
A: I dunno but its just escaped from Vykkers Labs!
By: Dost.

MAG: Send that joke in one more time and I will send Font to your workplace for a word. It is not funny, not that it was in the first place.

THIS ISSUES WINNER IS: Heslof, by default, seeing as the other 2 jokes were in bad taste. Oh well, 50 moolah is yours!

-----

COMMERCIAL & PERSONAL AD'S:

> Tired of your old Slig pants? Me too. Let's throw all our pants away and walk around like nature intended, nude! Join me for a mass pants burial at Bright Farms Co.

> 3 tons of rotten wood for sale. 150 moolah.
TEL: 0182 333 988

> Flying sligs needed to guard detention centre for flying sligs in Soulstorm Brewery. Easy work. Full time. 60 moolah per day. Good referance available if you leave. Contract work, sign up for 2 years at a time. Free oil and petrol.
TEL: 0182 723 723

SLIG'S WEIRD! magazine staff:

Writers: Stevix
Editor: Rozzle
Reporters: CANNOT BE NAMED
Receptionist: Coth
Chief coffee maker: Roldy
Magog Cartel law specialiser: Chronicler Sphenixson
Slig security: Font
Len
Disue
Vilt
Hond
Owner: Stevix

"No news is good news. I'm afraid I cannot believe in this motto in my position." - Stevix.

If you wish to have anything published (jokes, interveiws, complaints, birthday wishes, information, etc), then PM mollucks assistant and he will personally make sure it is included in the next issue of SLIG'S WEIRD!

Thanks for reading!

-----

credit goes to AlexFili for providing Bright Farms Co. ad. Credit goes to Scrabtrapman for providing the M.O.M. News report.

thanks folks!

[AlexFili]

So how much of it is your work then? 90%?

[MA]

if your talking to me, everything in each issue is my work, apart from the sections i state as belonging to someone else. in the last issue, the whole M.O.M. report is Scrabtrapman's, and the Bright Farms Co. ad is yours. everything else is written by me.

i need help people! send me your ideas!

[AlexFili]

That's really commendable Just make sure not to get burned out by writing too much too soon! I'll help you with a few more sections

[MA]

cheers AlexFili, need the help.

i actually enjoy writing these articles a lot more than general story writing, but your right. too much too soon could result in running out of idea's.

[AlexFili]

We need to ask some regulars like Mr.Odd and Oddey to try and contribute a little bit. If we all chip in I'm sure we can turn this into something amazing.

[MA]

i've been meaning to PM certain members who write stories for permission to interview their characters for SLIG'S WEIRD! i'll have to get onto it, i think some people are a bit worried their contribution will be complained about. but this is a community project, everyone should join in.

some members dont even know what this is because they simply wont look at it, which is a shame because they could enjoy it.

spread the word!

what about giving +rep to members that contribute? that would encourage people.

[Splat]

Hey MA, I want to say well done for this. Finally got around to reading it, and it was really entertaining! You've come a long way over your time in OWF.

I like the idea of an FC community project too; pretty cool!

The only issue I've seen is that you've talked about Rupture Farms, Bonewerkz, the Brewmaster and setting up Necrum Mines, which would set this some time before AO, and yet Abe has been mentioned, in an MOM article, I think. You should probably edit out things like that. I don't think people would mind too much.

Anyway, I will be sending you some stuff very soon. Keep up the good work!

[MA]

yep, your right. that M.O.M. article was posted by Scrabtrapman but i forgot to edit out the part where he mentioned Abe. i'll do that now.

i thought that the time before Abe arrived on the scene would be the best era to have this 'magazine' set, seeing as many industries are thriving, and it would also mean that if i included Abe, Rupture Farms would go down, as well as Bonewerkz, FeeCo Depot, Soulstorm Brewery and the head of Slig Barracks in a few days. it would get a bit boring then.

thanks!

[Splat]

It might be very interesting one day in the future to show that it's happened. It would be great to here the conspiracy theories and questions that 'Slig's WEIRD' would publish in response.

[MA]

thats actually a good idea, i could do that near the end of the series.

Issue: 9

OVERRUN AT SCRAB-O-RAMA!

Well a new side show incorporated with Soulstorm Mining Co has been discovered at the dismay of Soulstorm Mining Co managers. They were intending to reveal its existance once Soulstorm Mining Co were fully fledged and were out of the danger zone, but an overrun of animals there has attracted attention, therefore ruining the 'surprise' for those people interested.

The fairly new Scrab-o-rama! is in danger of being overwhelmed by fleeches. The fleeches are being bred to create soft, multiple fleech tongues, and are fed the left overs of dead mudokons that the scrabs kill and eat.

The fleeches are killed before they grow too large but there numbers are great and are still rising. It has got to the point where sligs and slogs cannot be sent in to cull a number of them as the brave employees are eaten alive.

We asked the glukkon manager of Scrab-o-rama! what his feelings were;

"Its turning into a real nightmare. We simply cant afford to risk any more employees in there, mudokons as well! The only option thats increasingly growing more likely is to let a few scrabs in there with 'em, and see if they can kill a few. They'll probably end up eaten eventually, and it doesnt matter if all the fleeches are killed, I mean they're in abundance in Necrum, but the scrabs are difficult to get hold of for us. We only have a small workforce, well, even smaller now. Thats the future plan anyway, so you can see our predicament."

REPORTER: "But your in association with Soulstorm Mining Co aren't you? Couldnt they do something to help?"

"Oh no, not with this recent uproar with the D.W. League or whatever they're called. I spose the only option is to lock 'em up and starve them. I just hope that league doesnt find out. I'll pay you not to print the last bit."

REPORTER: "I'm sorry, we dont accept bribes. But you dont need to worry, the D -"

"Then I'm gonna have to ask you to get the hell off my property."

Our reporter was ushered off Scrab-o-rama! premises by the remaining slig guards.

MAG: I think the D.F.W. League has bitten off more than they can chew to bother with Scrab-o-rama! as well.

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-ADVERT FINISH-

MAD BUT TRUE ANIMALS!

1.) Once, one of my fleeches grabbed a fly with its tongue, but another fleech wrapped its tongue around the same fly. I watched as the bigger fleech just pulled the other fleech into its mouth and ate it! I didnt know fleeches ate each other!

MAG: I've never seen that.

-----

Dont ask how we got our hands on this little gem, Stevix wont tell anyone, just read and enjoy. It is all true.

Great Big Glukkon Blunders
Things Rumor Kontrol keeps to themselves

By 'Yolk'

A year back I was working at a tiny factory in the middle of nowhere and found out about a certain event that's definitely off of the official factory records.

About a year after opening then, there was a mass breakout of animals in the stockyards, mostly paramites. They don't exactly know how this happened but it was probably done by a mud employee. So all these paramites got free and started looking for an exit.

All the sligs grabbed their guns and started trying to round them up before they did too much damage, but the place was in pandemonium, totally out of control, and the shooting and grenades just frightened the animals even more and sent them even wilder!

As if that wasn't enough, the dumb gluk in charge ordered sligs to give weapons to the muds in the stockyards to help them quell the trouble. Well, lets say it didn't exactly pan out that way!

With muds joining the revolt and a danger to the factory itself, the glukkons were forced to open the factory gates and watch all of their stock run away. Any dead paramites left lying around they couldn't get into storage in time to save the meat, because most of the muds ran off as well.

In the end the factory lost thousands of moolah in lost meat. Nine muds escaped, which was a big problem for the tiny lab; those nine were more than two thirds of the whole work force! And three sligs died; again, a huge chunk out of the total number there. The losses very nearly killed the factory. With no meat for their best selling products and almost no staff, they barely managed to pull themselves out of the gutters again.

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(2 moolah per min).

-ADVERT FINISH-

Words With Kroloff

YES! Its time to hear our sergeant Kroloff’s words of wisdom, expert in weapons, combat and hunting, with over 16 years experience, and currently stationed at a small slig outpost in Scrabania. But he still has time to answer your questions!

Anonymous: Hello there Kroloff. Listen, me and my pals were thinking of hunting some paramites in a local wood, but we're not sure what weapons we should use and how to track them, they're quick little buggers. Any suggestions?

Kroloff: Well I can say that you will obviously need a rifle, but not if they come at you. If they attack you, you should use some sort of blade like a knife or saber, its a hell of a lot easier than trying to aim a ruddy great rifle at them while they're ripping your throat out.

Also, read up on the book 'Hunting Tips for Paramonian Scout Team Leaders Part 2' by Drothy the slig. Its better than part 1 because it skips all the obvious necessities and gets straight to the point. Very easy to read, unlike those Vykker 'Surgery For Sligs' books, they're about as understandable as someone sitting on an active mine.

-----

RUBBISH JOKES!

1.) There's a fleech and a fuzzle in a microwave. The fuzzle says to the fleech, "It's very hot in here, isn't it?"
And the fleech says, "Blimey, a talking fuzzle!"
By: Chakke.

2.) Why do Stingbees hum?
A: Because they dont know the words!
By: Hone.

3.) What slog keeps the best time?
A: A watch-slog!
By: Karry.

THIS ISSUES WINNER IS: Chakke with that golden oldie. Well done, 50 moolah in the post!

-----

COMMERCIAL & PERSONAL AD'S:

> Need Slig pants? I've just found a massive pile of free pants that are just lying around waiting around for people to pick them up. Come to Bright Farms Co. If you want them.

> 2 slogs up for adoption. Cant look after them due to rising paperwork. Good homes only. Cant be seperated. 100 moolah for both.
TEL: 0182 209 007

> Old pair of slig legs for sale, 6 years old. 25 moolah.
TEL: 0182 743 986

-----

BIRTHDAY WISHES!

All the team at SLIG'S WEIRD! would like to wish our boss, Stevix, a happy birthday today, and want to thank him for keeping this new starting magazine afloat. He is a pretty good manager, even if he does wear a green suit. Also thanks go to his PA slig that types up everything Stevix wants printing, but doesnt want his name shown in the staff list. Quite a modest chap. From everyone at SLIG'S WEIRD! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

MAG: HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU OLD CODGER!

-----

COMPLAINTS.

And now as we reach the end of the magazine, we come to the complaints any of you readers have sent in.

Crunch: okay, i'm a bit p*ssed off about what you said about my joke in the last issue. It was a joke, dont take things too seriously. Jeez.

I'm sorry but it was totally uncalled for. 16 good sligs died at Magog Motors and you decide to take a cheap shot at them. You should be ashamed of yourself. We will contact Rumor Kontrol if you post us any more offensive jokes that are at a dead slig's expense.

SLIG'S WEIRD! magazine staff:

Writers: Stevix
Editor: Rozzle
Reporters: CANNOT BE NAMED
Receptionist: Coth
Chief coffee maker: Roldy
Magog Cartel law specialiser: Chronicler Sphenixson
Slig security: Font
Len
Disue
Vilt
Hond
Owner: Stevix

"No news is good news. I'm afraid I cannot believe in this motto in my position." - Stevix.

If you wish to have anything published (jokes, interveiws, complaints, birthday wishes, information, etc), then PM mollucks assistant and he will personally make sure it is included in the next issue of SLIG'S WEIRD!

Thanks for reading!

-----

credit goes to Splat for supplying the 'Great Big Glukkon Blunders' article and joke No: 1. Credit also goes to AlexFili for the 'Need slig pants?' Ad.

thank you people!

[Splat]

> Need Slig pants? I've just found a massive pile of free pants that are just lying around waiting around for people to pick them up. Come to Bright Farms Co. If you want them.

Gimme some o' that shizzle!

Well, gotta say it was slightly bizarre seeing my own writing in there, but cool! And 50 moolah? Awesome!

Another good article

[MA]

cheers!

the slig pants ad was the work of AlexFili, following the pants burial in the previous issue.
i think that idea is good.

[MA]

Issue: 10

FeeCo Depot CRASH!

Well its happened. A major train crash has occurred on the line connecting FeeCo Depot to Bonewerkz. This will majorly effect Bonewerkz profits seeing as the track suspending the monstrous trains has been mangled in the wreckage.

One of our reporters arrived at the scene to see flying sligs lumbering lengths of twisted metal from the two trains in a effort to reveal the damage done to the track, so that a flying slig engineer could attempt to fix it.

The trains themselves have been made totally unrepairable from the impact, as they were travelling at amazing speeds, and are in the process of being removed from the track. We asked a junior glukkon from FeeCo Depot who was overseeing the chaos for a few words;

"This is a tragedy. We dont know how this has come about. We are so careful with our times and drivers, hence the motto 'The trains will run on time'."

REPORTER: "But in one of our last issues we found out that you are forcing your drivers to work incredible shifts without break and only 6 hours sleep. Shouldnt you only have yourselves to blame?"

"What?! Where did you get that information? What we do with our employee's is our business only, not yours. It is only the fault of the drivers at hand. They should have been paying attention, and if they cant hack it, they should bugger off and do something easier."

REPORTER: "Have there been any fatalites?"

"Yes. The slig driving one of the trains died on impact, and we assume he didnt have time to stop. He was literally crushed to death between two sheets of iron as the two trains collided. Thats what our flying sligs said, anyway."

REPORTER: "What about the other slig?"

"He was the bloody one that was asleep at the controls! He should have been the one that got killed. Ironic really. This is one of the few train lines that is actually used by trians going in opposite directions. The slig that survived must have overslept before hand and therefore travelled down the track later than normal, meaning that the other train joined the same line at the right time, but had a head on collision thanks to the previous slig's inability to get up on time."

REPORTER: "Do you have anything to say to director Phleg about this fiasco and how it will effect his work?"

"All I can say on behalf of vice president Aslik is that we deeply apolagise and will have this track cleared for trade as soon as possible."

We also asked the surviving train driver for his feelings;

"I cant f*cking believe it! I could lose my job over this! Why am I so stupid!! I should have woken up when my alarm went off. I'm sorry, I need a cigarette."

We couldnt lure vice president Aslik out of his office, but we managed to get a few words from director Phleg;

"This is unbelievable! Did you hear me?! UNBELIEVABLE!! I cant believe this sh*t! I tell you somethin', that scrawny b*stard Asswipe is gonna get an earfull from me. Him and his ridiculous working hours. I read the article in your magazine and it made think that he should change the bloody rules before something like this happens again and causes another train crash, making businesses like mine suffer! Hurgh!!"

Sleep deprivation and industrial train driving do not mix. Hopefully Aslik will have some sense about him and make the hours more 'humane'.

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MAD BUT TRUE ANIMALS!

1.) I have a pet paramite and he does this weird thing to me everyday. When i wake up i've been wrapped up in this webbing that keeps me quite cool. Its a bit of a nuisance and he does it every night while i'm asleep. It starting to get annoying now though, because it gets wrapped around my legs.

MAG: I wouldnt let him do that if I was you. You might not ever wake up.

-----

INTERVIEW TIME!

Welcome back! Today I'm returning to talk to one of our most recent guests, Silpher. His group of thirteen hybrids are roaming the land and learning about nature! The males are; Silpher, Ulric, Lorn, Karn, Dogol, Hemm and Bron. The females are; Inna, Tulia, Riley, Bitsy and Lara.

Interviewer: Welcome back Mr.Silpher, how are you?

Silpher: Not too bad today, I've got a bit of a scratch from a Scrab, but it doesn't hurt too much.

I: You have first-aid materials.

S: (nods) Yes, we have quite a few packs from scavenging, but we mainly rely on herbal remedies.

I: You have some healers in your pack?

S: Yes (smiles), Bitsy is the one.

I: Do you have a particular female in mind?

S: Yes (closes eyes and smiles), Tulia is very close to me.

I: I see.

Be sure to read next week's issue when we talk with Ulric, the pack Alpha!

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-ADVERT FINISH-

Words With Kroloff

YES! Its time to hear our sergeant Kroloff’s words of wisdom, expert in weapons, combat and hunting, with over 16 years experience, and currently stationed at a small slig outpost in Scrabania. But he still has time to answer your questions!

Robbo: My gun keeps jamming, any advice?

Kroloff: Well when guns jam its usually caused by heat and the expanding of the metal. Try not to fire too many shots in succession, or wipe the mechanisms on show with a wet cloth. Many decent guns nowadays have a cooling system built into them, so it may be time to buy a new one. I assume you are using an old model or a Slig Barracks standard issue slig rifle.

Also, make sure you take apart and clean your gun at least once a week, because the jamming may be caused by stuff like sand getting clogged inside the mechanisms. Good luck.

-----

RUBBISH JOKES!

1.) Whats the deadliest dancer on Oddworld?
A: A scrab!
By: Jozzi

2.) How do you disable a fleech?
A: Tell it a tongue-twister!
By: Dost

3.) Whats more of a moolah-grabber than a glukkon?
A: A chronicler!
By: Side

MAG: You should have seen Sphenixson's face when he read that.

THIS ISSUES WINNER IS: Dost with that nifty joke. Well done, 50 moolah is on its way to your wallet!

-----

COMMERCIAL & PERSONAL AD'S:

> Broken mine cart, good strong metal. 100 moolah.
TEL: 0182 777 454

> Wanted: 5000 Moolah reward for anyone who can give me contact details for any of those DFW gtrz!
TEL: 0821 634 902, ask for Grace.

> 3 reliable rifles for sale. Previous owner slig from Slig Barracks, so good condition. 250 moolah for all 3. Bargain.
TEL: 0182 888 768

SLIG'S WEIRD! magazine staff:

Writers: Stevix
Editor: Rozzle
Reporters: CANNOT BE NAMED
Receptionist: Coth
Chief coffee maker: Roldy
Magog Cartel law specialiser: Chronicler Sphenixson
Slig security: Font
Len
Disue
Vilt
Hond
Owner: Stevix

"No news is good news. I'm afraid I cannot believe in this motto in my position." - Stevix.

If you wish to have anything published (jokes, interveiws, complaints, birthday wishes, information, etc), then PM mollucks assistant and he will personally make sure it is included in the next issue of SLIG'S WEIRD!

Thanks for reading!

-----

credit goes to AlexFili for supplying the interview and the Words With Kroloff question. Also credit goes to Splat for providing the 'DFW contact details' ad.

dont forget to chip in people!

[Splat]

Hey, Alex, was that interview based on a fanfic? Sound's interesting...
I need to get writing again!

[STM]

hey molluck I cant keep up with an issue a day its hard and AlexFili is rght we need to focus on your regulars

[MA]

dont worry Scrabtrapman, just do what your comfortable with.

[Oddey]

Need I say anything?

Other than these are looking great.