Do you want kids? -

Munch's Master · #**211** 12-11-2006, 11:46 AM

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I know exactly what you mean. People nowdays could care less about love. They're more concerned with either their hedonistic little adventures or reproducing rather than what should really matter in a relationship. It really bugs me.

Does that mean I'm a freak by modern standards, as I look for meaningfulness in a relationship rather than quick sex. I always get hassled by everybody else wh yI don't go out with any of the girls i my year, and the answer is the simple fact that I don't feel anything for them. Sure, some are good-looking, but looks aren't everything. For instance, I have met a girl who I am in love with, and totally believe she is 'THE' one, as it were, for me. Tough though, as there's a small age gap and it's long-distance (well, long-distance by British standards). I'd rather experience a relationshp based on love, THEN have children.

Alo, I was a c-section baby. Oh and changing religion just because of marriage is dumb. Adapting is fine and dandy, but you don't outright swap religion.

snuzi · #**212** 12-11-2006, 12:14 PM

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Does that mean I'm a freak by modern standards, as I look for meaningfulness in a relationship rather than quick sex. I always get hassled by everybody else wh yI don't go out with any of the girls i my year, and the answer is the simple fact that I don't feel anything for them. Sure, some are good-looking, but looks aren't everything. For instance, I have met a girl who I am in love with, and totally believe she is 'THE' one, as it were, for me. Tough though, as there's a small age gap and it's long-distance (well, long-distance by British standards). I'd rather experience a relationshp based on love, THEN have children.

I agree with you completely. I was put in the same situation during the past few years. My friends constantly asked me why I didn't like anyone in my school and would try to set me up with people I didn't like for no apprent reason. They just didn't understand that I was looking for something meaningful and I didn't just want to date for the sake of dating. After all, that's pointless. Last year, my waiting payed off, as I finally found the person I've been looking for. She's exactly like me and wants the same things that I want. That's all that should matter, in my opinion. As long as there's love in the relationship, it's worht it. It shouldn't all be about the so-called "perks" that come with dating someone, as people believe it is nowadays. relationships should be about caring for whomever you're with, and if they're worth it, it should be about making your time with that person as meaningful as you possibly can.

Also, congratulations, Munch's Master, on finding your other half

. It's refreshing to see that I'm not the only one who wants something more when it comes to relationships.

Arxryl · #**213** 12-11-2006, 01:32 PM

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I agree with you completely. I was put in the same situation during the past few years. My friends constantly asked me why I didn't like anyone in my school and would try to set me up with people I didn't like for no apprent reason. They just didn't understand that I was looking for something meaningful and I didn't just want to date for the sake of dating. After all, that's pointless. Last year, my waiting payed off, as I finally found the person I've been looking for. She's exactly like me and wants the same things that I want. That's all that should matter, in my opinion. As long as there's love in the relationship, it's worht it. It shouldn't all be about the so-called "perks" that come with dating someone, as people believe it is nowadays. relationships should be about caring for whomever you're with, and if they're worth it, it should be about making your time with that person as meaningful as you possibly can.

Also, congratulations, Munch's Master, on finding your other half

. It's refreshing to see that I'm not the only one who wants something more when it comes to relationships.

I fully agree. I know I said that making babies was the fun part, but a joke here or there isn't a bad thing.

If there isn't actual heart felt love in a relationship, it is doomed to fail. After you get over the "perks" there is nothing left and you are with someone you really don't like. I haven't gone out with anyone yet because of this. True love is not something you can throw around like some cheap pair of pants because there is something special in it. Something that only happens usually once during a life time.
And that's why I'd want kids only with someone I truely love with all my heart.

6-finger-fred · #**214** 12-11-2006, 02:15 PM

I agree with Munch's master, snuzi, and Arxryl completely. (I am also a c-sect btw) The thought of having no children is completely alien to me. Not only seeing my kids grow up, but seeing their kids grow up. Like I believe someone said before, I am completely afraid of being infertile. I also believe that you will know, when you meet them, you will know if they are the one, maybe not away, but eventually.

snuzi · #**215** 12-11-2006, 03:10 PM

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I fully agree. I know I said that making babies was the fun part, but a joke here or there isn't a bad thing.

If there isn't actual heart felt love in a relationship, it is doomed to fail. After you get over the "perks" there is nothing left and you are with someone you really don't like. I haven't gone out with anyone yet because of this. True love is not something you can throw around like some cheap pair of pants because there is something special in it. Something that only happens usually once during a life time.
And that's why I'd want kids only with someone I truely love with all my heart.

I agree with you completely. If a relationship is forged mainly for the "physical advantages", it will eventaully fall apart. It can't exist forever without the one emotion that is supposed to bind it.

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I agree with Munch's master, snuzi, and Arxryl completely. (I am also a c-sect btw) The thought of having no children is completely alien to me. Not only seeing my kids grow up, but seeing their kids grow up. Like I believe someone said before, I am completely afraid of being infertile.

I actually have the same fear. I've always feared that I'd become infertile at some point in my life for some odd reason, and it has been haunting me for years. I just don't want to miss out on having my own kids, and raising them from the very beginning.

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I also believe that you will know, when you meet them, you will know if they are the one, maybe not away, but eventually.

Most definitely. When the time comes, you will just know. It happened to me, and I'm sure that it happened to just about everyone who found that special person

Heh, it's really nice to know that you guys see where I'm coming from and agree with me. My friends would not even be able to fathom actually wanting to have loving relationships

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So, thank you for the wonderful discussion so far

OANST · #**216** 12-11-2006, 04:23 PM

Everytime I ejaculate into a woman I end up with a kid. I've got the strong stuff.

skillya_glowi · #**217** 12-11-2006, 04:26 PM

Lucky basturds. You've actually found your other half. I've been looking for so damned long I'm beginning to doubt whether it actually exists. I know, everyone seems to want to set me up, but I say, seriously: get the hell outta my face, cause there's no way he could actually be all I want. There's a reason for that, too: 16-year-old guys haven't got their feet on the ground yet, I'll bet more than 50% just want a date with a quick thrash and it's done. Finding someone who actually looks deeper is a muss, and when you do, he turns out to be some creepy nerd who's a foot shorter than you. I seriously don't know what I'm gonna do. I set impossibly high standards, and I know they're impossibly high, but I just can't bring myself to accept someone who doesn't fit them even if I had to shove him down my throat with a shoe (figuratively, that is). Simplest way of putting it: I'm a perfectionist, and there's absolutely nothing I can do.

There's also the problem with raising children. You know, sometimes, you feel your parents are totally trying to control you, but when you think about it, it makes an awful lot of sense. Would you want your kid to start drinking at 10? Would you like your kid to watch objectionable kinds of porn on TV and various other media? Would you like your kid to wander around at night with six 18-year-olds? There's no happy medium for this, it appears. You either raise a bad kid who is respected at school, who is popular, who gets bad grades and who is a disgrace to the family. Or you raise a good kid, who gets good grades but gets made fun of at school. Don't you just want to sit down and plan out your kid's future? The teen himself would call it something foul, like letting him have no freedom. But you keep wondering, what kind of freedom does he want?

As far as that goes, I am thoroughly confused and befuddled. I guess it will take 10 or so years for me to get it...

snuzi · #**218** 12-11-2006, 04:41 PM

Believe me, I know eactly what you mean. I always set high standards as well when it came to that sort of thing, and I was lucky enough to find someone who was exactly like me. You'll definitely find someone eventually, skillya_glowi. You just have to give it time, and remember never to lower your standards for anyone, because if you do, you might miss the person you were meant to be with.

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There's also the problem with raising children. You know, sometimes, you feel your parents are totally trying to control you, but when you think about it, it makes an awful lot of sense. Would you want your kid to start drinking at 10? Would you like your kid to watch objectionable kinds of porn on TV and various other media? Would you like your kid to wander around at night with six 18-year-olds? There's no happy medium for this, it appears. You either raise a bad kid who is respected at school, who is popular, who gets bad grades and who is a disgrace to the family. Or you raise a good kid, who gets good grades but gets made fun of at school. Don't you just want to sit down and plan out your kid's future? The teen himself would call it something foul, like letting him have no freedom. But you keep wondering, what kind of freedom does he want?

I've often thought about this myself. All I can hope for is that I raise my children well enough that they'll be able to make responsible decisions. I really wouldn't want my kids doing anything I consider stupid, but in the end, it's all up to them, I suppose. Even if I were to tell them not to do so thousands of times, they might just do it anyway. The most I can do is help them understand that there are consequences that come with every action, and then hopefully they can make mature decisions.

Wow, I really feel like I'm ranting today. My apologies if I'm boring anyone

mitsur · #**219** 12-11-2006, 04:53 PM

You know skillya, you're right about the good kid/bad kid thing.

It infuriates me that there are basically two types of kids at school.

1. Cool idiots

2. Loser Smart people

Of course, they're exceptions. But still, if you're smart, you instantly lose the chance to be 'cool', that is, have everyone like you.

Then again, the smart people get revenge by making 5 or 6 or even 7-figure sums of money every year while the cool kids are asking the smart kids if they want fries with that

Fortunately, my school has the third category of smart/cool people, which I think i'm part of. So it's kinda cool here.

And no, snuzi, it's not boring me they way you rant on.

Kamille · #**220** 12-11-2006, 04:53 PM

My friend is a teenage father his gilfriend told him she was on the pill she just lied to him because she wanted children so badly, can you believe that?

snuzi · #**221** 12-11-2006, 04:56 PM

I don't understand why someone would do that. Can't teenagers understand that they're incapable of attending school and taking care of a child simultaneously?

skillya_glowi · #**222** 12-11-2006, 04:57 PM

Ow.

snuzi: That's why holding one's liquor is one of the most important skills anyone can possibly attain.

And mitsur - yeah, pretty much, unless you're smart to not show you're smart. That's another way. And my report card is rarely seen by more than 3 people - myself and my parents.

Kamille · #**223** 12-11-2006, 05:07 PM

My friend believed that the withdrawal method was an effective form of birth control lol.

Speaking of other halves do you guys think it is unreasonable that I'm holding out for a girl with the same interests as me?

6-finger-fred · #**224** 12-11-2006, 05:10 PM

Is it just me, or has this thread jumped up a few notches on the intelligent conversation meter since the beginning arguments?

Anyway, I think think 1 to 2 kids is my ideal number of kids.

OANST · #**225** 12-11-2006, 05:12 PM

It is. That's the form that I employ and it has worked every time. You just have to know when to get out.

edit: That was in referance to the withdrawal comment.

snuzi · #**226** 12-11-2006, 05:17 PM

It sure looks that way. We went from discussing children, to parenting, to love. It's odd how these threads jump from topic to topic

skillya_glowi · #**227** 12-11-2006, 05:22 PM

Mm-hmm. That's what an actual conversation's supposed to do.

OANST · #**228** 12-11-2006, 05:25 PM

Instead of discussing what a conversation should or should not be......why don't you have one? Hmmm?

6-finger-fred · #**229** 12-12-2006, 01:08 PM

I did.... the comment on the number of kids I want. Sorry, but you sucked my ideas dry on love. That paragraph took a lot of brain power.

skillya_glowi · #**230** 12-12-2006, 03:21 PM

Ho-ho, mine would take up volumes.

...Well, maybe I'm exaggerating.
But only a little bit.