Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was hit by the second.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it thought it was a game.
Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was stapled to the fourth.
Why did the sixth monkey fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure.
This is where you laugh.
And for those who don't know what peer pressure is and therefore completely missed the punchline of that one, here's some shorts:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What's pink and fuzzy?
Pink fuzz.
What's pink and fluffy?
A sheep with a bad hair-stylist.
What's grey and can't climb trees?
A car park/parking lot.
How do you get an elephant in the fridge?
Open the door, put the elephant in, close the door.
How do you get a giraffe in the fridge?
Open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, close the door. (amazing how often people fall for that one)
The king of the jungle is holding a huge meeting and all the animals attend except one, which one doesn't?
The giraffe, he's still in the fridge.
You're walking through the jungle and you come to a river which is the home of several large man-eating crocodiles. The river's deep, there's no bridge or boat, no trees overhang the river and the crocodiles have been known to eat anyone who so much as paddles in their river. How do you get across?
Swim: the crocodiles are all at the meeting with the king of the jungle.
Thank you for your time, please beg for more now.
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