oh god.... i leave a few months and this is what happens? i can't say me and oddbodd were really online buddies. it was more like we knew that screenname exsited and thats it. even so, things like this need attention and from the sounds of things,all out prayers are needed for him to pull through. i know what it feels like to be depressed, and i also know how it feels to be concerned about some one near to you and someon you care about online. this might be long because i have alot to say.
first theres my online pal,shazi (also known as danni dingo, she showed up a couple of times on the old board) she is one of my best onlines friends ever. funny,witty, and a wonderful artist and writer. but sometimes she gets really sad. i've been concerned about before but never as much as the time she said she was sick of it all and suddenly went offline. let me tell you,i was scared. i thought maybe she went off to try and kill herself. i cried and just stared at the screen. i felt so helpless. i wanted to go there and be support, reach out an hand,something, but i can't the feeling is the worse feeling in the world. luckily,she came back on 15 minutes later and she seems alright to this day.
then sadly,theirs my cousion. since we were little we use to be so close. its kinda funny,we're complete oppsites of eachother. shes small and thin, and tall and husky. she loves clothes shopping and other "normel" teen like things, the most shopping i do is at a book store and i listin to musicals. yet, we both love playing around with our made up chars ( god,we use to roleplay on the phone for hours) but now things are changeing..... her stepfather is a abusive to both her and her mother, and her mom whos a nice woman,really, is a little into religion. ( no halloween, stuff like that) lately, my cousion has been fired from a job accused of stealing ( which is something i do NOT think she would do) tried to kill herself because her boyfriend dumped her, and had to stay at my house for a night due to the fact that her stepfather was acting very abusive that night. i haven't heard a word from her since, and i'm too scared to call.
then finely,theres myself. yes,i too have had thoughts of suicide. it started in middle school. god, people are cruel. i was teased about my weight so much that i couldn't take it anymore. i needed to go to the physcitrsts and take medication because of those jerks. and now, i don't trust many people in the outside world anymore. they say sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me? their wrong. something i read out of "chicken soup for the soul" fits it more. " sticks and stones may break my bones but words can kill a soul" its true. i don't have many friends in the real world. online friends are the only ones i really have. on the internet,no one sees you unless you put your picture up. no one can start on the way you look,talk,do things. i think if it were not for the internet and fan fics i would have acutelly killed myself. i've thought of suicide but my love of what i can create has kept me alive. you and all my online friends have helped me realize that fact. now, to oddbobb, all i can really say is i don't know why you tried to kill yourself but now you have to fight to hold on. i may not be one of your best online buddies but i care! none of us here are going to let you go down without a fight! though we cann't be their physicily we're there in spirt. just rember, " their be no rainbow for the soul if the eyes no tears" just hang,please.
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for every big mouth there is often a bigger foot.
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), a forum with members like us,...etc.
Oddworlder
