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  #31  
01-06-2002, 05:49 PM
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Joe, excellent work...very good...
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  #32  
01-06-2002, 06:04 PM
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Sorry
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  #33  
01-06-2002, 10:20 PM
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I'd say this chapter has the most dialogue out of any chapter yet. Enjoy!

Chapter 10
There was a massive panic in the butchering room. Scrubs were all running to the scene in which a Slig had fallen to the floor. One Scrub was missing, since it was following Mervick.
“What the hell happened here?” asked one Scrub.
“I don’t know. How do you think this happened?” said another.
“I know!” shouted one, while putting his hand up. “I saw the whole thing. Bob over there, he didn’t want to pull the lever, and the Boss gave him a hard time. Another Slig came along and blasted the crap outta the Boss.”
“Well, do you know which Slig it was?” asked the first.
“No, but he looked kinda Koo-Koo, if ya ask me.”

There was another phone call. This time, it went straight to Molluck.
“What? Again? This has got to be stopped. Put every Security Detail in the factory on Full Alert. Right.” Molluck’s secretary hung up the phone.

“Why did you save me?”
“Because, I don’t know this part of the factory.” Mervick replied. And it was true. From the many incidents he had had so far, he was detoured many times. “What part of the factory am I in?”
The Scrub, intimidated by Mervick’s automatic rifle, told him that as far as he knew, they were in the Northeast corner.
“Great. I’m too far off course to know where to go, now. Where is the closest exit?”
“Exit? You want OUT?”
“Yes! Now, tell me where the Odd damned exit is!” Mervick was getting annoyed.
“Well, if you go past the butchering room, and turn left, you will have to go straight. You’ll find a train stop after you have walked for a while. That is the closest place I know of. You can’t just walk out of Rupture Farms.”
“Oh yeah? Just watch me.” Mervick was determined to get out of here.
“One problem. I don’t think the Security covering the train will let you get out easily. Are you that guy everybody has been talking about lately? The one they found in the Mess Hall?”
Well, here was a problem. A Scrub that knew who he was, and where he was going. Mervick had made a big mistake. “Listen, buddy, you don’t tell ANYONE about me, got it? If you do, I’ll find you and blow yer stinkin’ brains out!”
“Don’t worry. I won’t tell nobody!” And, indeed, he wouldn’t. The Scrub felt obligated to Mervick, because Mervick had saved his life. Mervick had to trust him, because he already told him his plan.
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  #34  
01-07-2002, 06:31 PM
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Exellent Joe I love this story, nice how you tied the feeco depot train to Rupture Farms.
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  #35  
01-08-2002, 11:21 PM
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Alright, guys, this is the last chapter.

Chapter 11
Mervick followed Bob’s direction’s, and found his way to a train that left for Feeco Depot everyday. The Scrub was right. Security was very tight here. He didn’t know how he would get through. He couldn’t get in by force, because there were at least 50 Sligs, and 20 Big Brother Sligs, all with bigger and better weapons than the small, automatic rifle he had. “Well, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”

A Slig, getting a little snooze in before his shift of protecting the train, was awakened by one of his companions.
“Hey, Rilak, wake up.”
“Huh? Is it time for my shift already? Damn.”
Rilak went to find his security outfit, and it was missing.
“Hey, where did my Uniform go?” Rilak asked.
“How the hell should I know? It’s yours, isn’t it?”

Mervick, now wearing someone else’s Uniform, found his way to the train. It would leave in 30 minutes, so he would have to be careful, not to mention quick.
“Hey you” said one of the Big Bro’s, “Be on ‘da lookout. That one insane guy is supposed to be trying to escape. Make sure he don’t get on ‘da train, ‘aight?”
Insane guy, Mervick thought. Does he mean me?
25 minutes had passed. The train was about to leave. Mervick found a loading ramp, and snuck aboard. He was in one of the big, bowl shaped cars. There plenty of products in here, being shipped to the distribution center of Northern Mudos. From there, all the products would be shipped to the Consumers of Oddworld.
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  #36  
01-08-2002, 11:35 PM
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Ah execellent, bravo!!!! ( Bows down ) Great story I'm proud to say youu get the Oddworld Al the Vykker award for great story. Imade this award up in ten seconds, but what the hay you earned it. Note My fanfic has been updated with Chapter Two. Check it out the Fallen Temple.


Sincerely, AL the Vykker
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  #37  
01-09-2002, 12:50 PM
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Nice work Morgan!


I am waiting patiently for the sequel.
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  #38  
01-09-2002, 09:17 PM
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FAN-****ING-TASTIC ENDING MORGAN! With that last chapter, you finally make the reader sense the true spirit of oddworld. I hale your fic as one of the best. Congratulations on your award, haha. Write a sequel if you want, or as expected, get that epiloge as good as this last chapter. Good luck on your future endevors and thank you for your great story.
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