Food poisoning, or stomach flu, or whatever the fuck I have. Woke up at 6 AM feeling like I ate some knives, tried to shit couldn't, I then threw up what I thought was all the contents of my stomach.

I say thought, because an hour later I managed to vomit some more, then have diarrhea that felt like I was shitting some jalapeno peppers. After than i still felt like I needed to shit, but nothing would come back. One nap later I threw up the very last of what was in me. So far I've been...