I know my friend Tony was selling his bass (a really nice one, it has better action than any of my others, and you get a real punch out of the sound when it's played through my Peavey amp) for £150-odd. I was interested, but I promised Emily that I wouldn't buy anything over £100 until we'd balanced the books, so I told him that I had a nephew who was very into music, and was looking for a bass, hoping that he'd lower the price. He did. I got it for £80.

Now, I didn't lie. My nephew...