This is one of those "Oh, aren't people weird sometimes" blogs. I've never done one before¹, so here we go.

So, I'm walking home from school,² earphones in, head in the clouds, and this guy Stuart³ starts coming up from the other end of the road, along with three of his junior chav movement.⁴ He points at me and leers across the tarmac. I smile and nod, trying to be polite.

"Hey,"⁵ he says as we approach each other,...