Suddenly, internet speed!

Yes, after many years of Old Modem, now there's New Modem! Our internet has got increasingly worse for a while now so recently Mum rang up our provider and complained; their response was to inform us that we're due a new modem, which they're required to provide but only if we ask in the right place (the right place was reached through their automated phone service, but suspiciously was not titled 'If you're due the new modem we promised but aren't keen to...