I just bought a vintage electric bass from 1963 worth about £1500 for £700 off my best friend. Dropped on or what? I've just got a bad feeling that if I leave my brother alone around it, he'll break it. I must keep my eye on him!

In other news, my little nephew bought condoms from a public toilet thinking that they were glow-sticks. He was sorely disappointed with these 'rubbishy balloons'.