I helped a friend of mine move out of his apartment over the weekend. Straightforward ordeal if you're going by the book; you can expect to be frustrated, tired, manic and giddy, seemingly exhausted and altogether a little sick. Also, don't expect to get paid when you do anything for your friends unless they're wealthy or sensible.

These were my expectations, the reality was more harrowing.

First of all, my friend is a recent convert of Islam. I don't really have a...