Or at least it fucking feels like it. The first significant event of the year has occured - I've caught a cold. I'm snotty, my ear is congested, and my cognitive faculties have been put out of action. The shop's run out of the good Beechams, so I'm stuck with the tablets (which I don't find as effective), and I can't eat without my congested ear throbbing with every bite. Feel free to take the piss out of me while I'm incapacitated, you able-bodied little sadists.

In other news, I've...