An Idiots Guide to Smackabitching:

I has a gurl, yeah.

But I dunno what the fuck to do with her. I could take the brunette out on a lovely dinner and a movie--nah, romantic walk in the park with take-out or an icecream. I is a cheapskate, we agree.

Then I can take her to my house when my parents are out and, you know, like totally get down and make out with her ass. And kiss her, and touch her junk and she'll smack me before pulling me close again and