Back in the old time, Valentines Day was The Valentines Gray--an overcast daymare where couples would beat single people up and steal their limbs for the gods of Petty Passion. Eventually, the limbless masses accumulated into one giant Valentines Fray, and some onlookers, seeing a bunch of amputees fighting couples, declared it to be "Valentines Gay". The queen of Egypt, who never existed, decided that the writhing mass of onlookers, limbless rebels and Tyrannical lovers was pretty damn cool, so...