I fell two feet from a window sill trying to see if a little RC helicopter I bought was stuck on the small doorway overhang on the dilapidated old daycare next door. In bare feet.

My right foot hit some uneven dirt, rolled and a series of pops erupted from my ankle. Then it started to hurt. Like it was on fire, but it was old fire. I had to hop over to my house, call an ambulance, and watch in utter horror as my ankle ballooned to a god damn fleshy globe.

My mom is...