I don't even know why. I don't even know what I'm going to write. Should I talk about the woman I love, who I've only ever met in internet chatrooms and who is over a decade older than myself? About my desire to go to university and the awkwardness of this caused by my parents' decision not to educate me, not to mention us all moving to New Zealand in about three weeks? Maybe I ought to tell you all about my inconsistent chest pains, especially around where my heart is, and how I don't even know...