So Bitter

I've been studying math for the last few months in preparation for pre-admission testing at College. Essentially I need to prove I am not completely stupid.

About halfway in to the study material I have hit a wall, an Algebraic wall. Every year past grade 6 (or earlier, whatever) the curriculum would drift into Algebra territory and I got lost. There was a point I remember having a leg up on my classmates in math but that time is long gone. Year after year I'd fail a little harder and I never bothered to stay after school because I had a paper route that I would apparently have disappointed the shit out of my parents by quitting. So halfway through Grade 10 I'm informed I'm pretty much just a complete 'tard in the administration's eyes and got placed into the Co-op program. 2.5 years of doing work to earn high school credits. I still studied and did coursework, but nothing really advanced fell under my pen and I figured I had graduated pretty much scot-free. Instead, I am a big sore thumb to any institutions I apply to and need to do vast quantities of testing unrelated to the coursework to qualify. (I've signed up for a very straightforward Arts and Sciences program). Now, half of what you just read is valid and another meaty half is a lot of whining on my part, but I'm anxious about my knowledge (lack thereof, rather) and needed to vent a little bit.

I hated that fucking paper route. Rather, those paper routes. I really genuinely wish I could go back in time and just not do that for the 8 years I did. Want to make plans after school? Sorry guys, I have my stupid-ass newspapers to deliver.

I'm sure I can study up and make it through the test. I know I can. But I still feel antsy as hell and it's bizarrely easy to get hung up on that horrible horrible paper route.

Regardless, the Queen turned 100 this year or something so hey, A+ lady. Keep on truckin'.