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Crazy People That Happen To Me VI

Posted 07-06-2009 at 08:03 AM by OANST

About a month and a half ago we hired a new salesman at my work. He seemed to be a pretty nice guy, but also a bit slow. He was constantly asking me to check his email, make him maps, and do all manner of things that he should be capable of doing himself. I finally had to explain to him that I am not his personal secretary, and that he needed to learn to do these things on his own. He shuffled his feet, said sorry, and explained that he thought that was my job. I explained that he couldn't be more wrong.

As time goes by he begins to get stranger. One day he walks up behind me and starts rubbing my shoulders. I flinch away from him and ask why he is doing that. He laughs, and just says that he's a naturally happy guy. Whatever the fuck that means. A few times he has come up and given me a quick hug, afterwards telling me that he loves me in christ. He tells me the same thing whenever I have to talk to him on the phone (which is way more often than I would like). However, there was one time where he merely said "I love you". He apparently forgot the "in christ" part.

This leads us to today. He comes up to my desk and asks me to make a map. I sigh, but do it anyway. As I'm making it, he begins to tell me about how he was molested as a child. He tells me all the gruesome details of his father's reign of terror on him, while I just stare at my computer repeating "Stop talking to me. Stop talking to me. Stop talking to me" in my head. Well, he doesn't oblige. The conversation takes an abrupt, and completely bizarre turn. One minute he is talking about his dad. The next he is explaining how he would like to kill everyone who supports the homosexual agenda. He tells me about how he would like to wash the filth from this country and get us back on the right track. Luckily the phone rang. I answered it and he left.

What the fuck is with my life?

Also, Kastere is annoying as fuck when high.

Comments 33

Total Comments 33

Comments

	Introduce him to this forum, i beg you. We need somone to bash. I'm serious.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 08:06 AM by shaman

	Rofl, he's saying he'd like to get rid of homos, but isnt' he one himself? Just tell him you're into girls with big boobs and a fat ass. XD : Also, Kastere is annoying as fuck when high. LMAO
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 08:09 AM by NelspikeTX

	I can't touch that one. It's too sad though- who knows what's with the guy because he seems awfully self contradictory- then he has some kind of religious conditioning (or mask) to further warp his mind. And yes, Kastere is pretty freaky when high. Worse than myself!
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 08:19 AM by Pilot

	That guy sounds messed up. Just tell him to piss off, the shock will make him stay away forever.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 08:46 AM by joshkrz

	I have to work with him. And for me to be effective in my position I need to make sure that the salesreps do not see me as the enemy.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 08:54 AM by OANST

	Can you make a complaint?
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 09:14 AM by used:)

	To whom? I'm a director in this company. Should I complain to me?
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 09:31 AM by OANST

	We're all a little messed up Joshy. I don't hold it against him. : Should I complain to me? Yes, mail a complaint letter to yourself. By the time you get it back it'll be a grand laugh. And HE'LL BE THERE reading it over your shoulder, with his hands down the rear of your trousers.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 09:32 AM by Pilot

	AND A KNIFE IN THE OTHER HAND WHILE HE'S RAPING YOU WITH A KNIFE
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 09:40 AM by Leto

	Do you think he's in any way dangerous?
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 11:12 AM by Mac Sirloin

	I don't really know. It's hard to gauge crazy.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 11:17 AM by OANST

	I guess you'll just have to wait and see then. I had no idea that you were a company director, though. That's pretty cool.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 11:20 AM by Mac Sirloin

	I am the marketing director.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 11:24 AM by OANST

	If you're one of the head-honchhoes, why are you worried about the sales representative people? Forgive me, I'm really clueless when it comes to business.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 11:34 AM by used:)

I am the director of marketing. As such, if the sales reps start thinking that I am against them in any way, they will start to have doubts about the appointments that they are being sent on, which are being generated by my marketing. If they have doubts, it gives them excuses to find reasons to be upset about an appt. If they are upset about the appt. that they are on, the likelihood of them selling it will drop dramatically. If sales drop and all of the sales reps are pointing at me and saying that my marketing is the cause, I will lose my job. Any clearer?

Posted 07-06-2009 at 11:49 AM by OANST

	Gotch'ya. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I hope it improves.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 12:24 PM by used:)

	I'm not worried about it. I'm always amused by these things in hind sight..........He just came in and I handed him a paper that was left for him. He said, "Thank you, Mat. I love you" and walked out the door. Fucking freak.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 12:27 PM by OANST

	Do you think he's mentally challenged?
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 12:31 PM by used:)

	I think he's a fucking retard. Yes.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 12:32 PM by OANST

	You're a lot to love...
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 12:41 PM by Pilot

	If we all put our hands in our pockets i'm sure we could fly to you're location and rough him up for you...
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 01:00 PM by shaman

	Me and my brother could rough him up a bit if you want.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 01:11 PM by OddjobAbe

	Arn't these types of people on some goverment list somewhere?
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 01:22 PM by Laser

	If you killed this man... how big are the chances it would be linked back to you?
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 01:39 PM by Havoc

	Hey Mat I love you.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 01:58 PM by Pilot

	Yeah I pretty much love you. In Christ, of course. But also in your sphincter.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 02:49 PM by Leto

	Christ, thats a bizarre situation.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 02:50 PM by MA

	SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHAT ODDJOBABE SAID I DON'T GET IT
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 04:11 PM by Mac Sirloin

	If you're Head of Marketing, why does he accost you so often? Is there not some sort of Head of Sales that can be a buffer? Or, to put it another way, can you not just pass his crazy on to someone else?
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 05:20 PM by Nate

	Heh, "accost". I use that term very loosely so it has comical connotations to me.
	Posted 07-06-2009 at 06:30 PM by Pilot

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