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What I Just Did, Right This Fucking Second


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What I Just Did, Right This Fucking Second

Posted 06-13-2009 at 09:13 AM by OANST
I just bought a house in a wealthy neighborhood, with a fantastic school system, that is fifty percent bigger than my current house, and is on about three quarters of an acre of land. I did this for 38,500.00. I'm what you might call a shrewd negotiator.
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OddjobAbe's Avatar
I would applaud, but I'm afraid that's impossible from where I'm sat.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 09:27 AM by OddjobAbe

Pilot's Avatar
I hear this is pretty common in the midwest. Folks are buying up properties and houses for mad low prices.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 09:37 AM by Pilot

OANST's Avatar
The original asking price was over 150,000.00. It had been lowered to 70,000.00 when I looked at it. I called them and said I would buy it for 35,000.00. expecting them to laugh, but still throw out a price lower than 70. Instead, they said they wanted a few days to think about it. They then called me back the next day and asked if I would consider 38,500.00. I laughed and said, yeah. That'll be fine.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 09:45 AM by OANST

Pilot's Avatar
Wow, that's a sweetheart of a deal, I'm happy for you!

Talk about desperate though.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 09:53 AM by Pilot

OANST's Avatar
The ease with which I was able to get such a low offer through makes me wonder if the place is maybe built on indian burial ground or something.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:02 AM by OANST

Pilot's Avatar
Thought about that. Are you sure it's had all its inspections?
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:06 AM by Pilot

OANST's Avatar
Yeah, I know everything that's wrong with it. I'm probably going to have to dump about 15,000 into it before we move in.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:07 AM by OANST

Pilot's Avatar
So what's wrong with it?
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:12 AM by Pilot

OANST's Avatar
Needs windows, roof, siding, and a furnace.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:15 AM by OANST

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
I can fix all of those things.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:31 AM by Mac Sirloin

OANST's Avatar
Oh, good. Just come on down to Jersey and I'll put you to work.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:36 AM by OANST

Pilot's Avatar
OANST, smuggle Kastere over the US / Cah-nah-dah border so he can fix all that for free. He's the man!
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:36 AM by Pilot

used:)'s Avatar
Fuck you! Stop being so successful!

EDIT: Wait. You don't live in Michigan anymore?
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:37 AM by used:)

OANST's Avatar
I do. Kastere is just under the impression that this is where Jersey is. Shhhh. Don't tell him.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:39 AM by OANST

used:)'s Avatar
Well, you should still totally move to Jersey. It's Pennsylvania's butt-buddy!
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:40 AM by used:)

Voodoo Hand's Avatar
Well WOOT for you !!
Just go to prove, never underestimate the power
of the low-ball bid in a depressed economy.
One hell of a discount by any standards.
Don`t know the age, but any joint over 15 years
old will most likely need the improvements you list.
plus the margin you have on the sale price will more then cover the cost.
Well Done.
Oh, yea after you move in don`t forget to lock the fucking doors, Moron.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:40 AM by Voodoo Hand

MA's Avatar
thats a turn out for the books.

good job.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:42 AM by MA

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
I can't actually fix any of those things.

Well, maybe.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:44 AM by Mac Sirloin

Pilot's Avatar
Nor can you fix a ford truck with rust right over the axles.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:46 AM by Pilot

used:)'s Avatar
What's that supposed to mean?
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:48 AM by used:)

OANST's Avatar
This neighborhood is so nice I may not have to!
Posted 06-13-2009 at 10:53 AM by OANST

Voodoo Hand's Avatar
Get the fuck out !!!
We are talking about the Detroit Metro area, right ??
Posted 06-13-2009 at 11:13 AM by Voodoo Hand

OANST's Avatar
Yeah, but this puts me a good 20 to 25 miles north of Detroit. I'll be living in Auburn Hills. bitches.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 11:23 AM by OANST

Pilot's Avatar
:
What's that supposed to mean?
He knows.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 11:48 AM by Pilot

Voodoo Hand's Avatar
Well hell, you did not say you was moving to da burbs.
Are you sure they will let you in ?
Posted 06-13-2009 at 12:04 PM by Voodoo Hand

OANST's Avatar
No.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 12:07 PM by OANST

Pilot's Avatar
Hey Used, stick a butt in that mouth or get out.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 01:14 PM by Pilot

used:)'s Avatar
Sir, you forget yourself!
Posted 06-13-2009 at 01:52 PM by used:)

Pilot's Avatar
Posted 06-13-2009 at 02:05 PM by Pilot

used:)'s Avatar
I love imagining Roger saying what you type, because it always works so deliciously well with his countenance and his character's voice.
Posted 06-13-2009 at 05:22 PM by used:)

 
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