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I have been summoned to jury duty Part 2

Posted 05-18-2010 at 09:38 AM by Splat

Yesterday I received an envelope telling me the date of my Jury Duty amongst other information. I don't know how much I'm actually allowed to say, but it'll start in the first half of June, so I have a few weeks to brace myself.

The duty (for lack of a better word) will be expected to last ten days to two weeks (some places in the booklet say ten days, others say two weeks) and if I get a really short trial they'll put me on another. It will only be longer than that if I get a trial about rape or murder or something. That oh-so-encouraging line saying 'few trials last 200 days' has cropped up again

But overall the information they've sent has left me feeling a little more reassured. The courtroom is quite close to the train station so hopefully I won't get lost trying to find it. And claiming expenses will apparently be sorted out while I'm there so it won't be a case of writing letters and talking to robotic call centres, which is good news.

My greatest concern now will be if any 'distressing' evidence appears I might get all squeamish (Argh! My greatest weakness!) and embarrass myself in front of all the hot juror babes. So amusing suggestions on how to get out of scary jury service are still welcome

Posted in Life

Comments 122

Total Comments 122

Comments

	...don't go? That's how most people get out of it.
	Posted 05-18-2010 at 09:57 AM by MeechMunchie

	Further accustom yourself to "distressing" imagery? At least for the time of the jury duty? Or go into the first jury meeting while trying to hide a knife in your sleeve in an obvious way.
	Posted 05-18-2010 at 10:07 AM by dripik

	Incompetence due to insanity. PM me for advice on going mad.
	Posted 05-18-2010 at 10:23 AM by Bullet Magnet

	: ...don't go? That's how most people get out of it. It's probably also how most people end up with a huge fine or jail time. I don't think there is any legal way to avoid jury duty unless you can prove that you are not replaceable in whatever job you do daily. If an entire company is on hold because you aren't present there they will probably let you off.
	Posted 05-18-2010 at 10:27 AM by Havoc

...don't go? That's how most people get out of it.

Not sure how things work over there, but that's a pretty big no-no over yonder. Bench warrant is issued and everything.

When it comes to the jury selection, you just need to show extreme bias or prejudice.

If it's rape:

"my mom was raped. rapists should get life in prison"

Shoplifting:

"my friend/relative/whatever owns a shop and they lose a ton of money because of shopping. We're too easy on shoplifters"

Get it?

Posted 05-18-2010 at 10:28 AM by Disgruntled Intern

Updated 05-18-2010 at 10:33 AM by Disgruntled Intern

	: PM me for advice on going mad. Put pair of pants on your head, stick a couple of pencils up your nose and say 'Wibble' a lot.
	Posted 05-18-2010 at 10:53 AM by MeechMunchie

	Pretend that you're a bear... And eat lots of honey!
	Posted 05-18-2010 at 12:06 PM by T-nex

	hopefully it won't be anything too serious. good luck.
	Posted 05-18-2010 at 12:53 PM by MA

	Pretend to be racist.
	Posted 05-18-2010 at 01:34 PM by shaman

	Pretend to to hate gay people. Oh. yeah
	Posted 05-18-2010 at 01:42 PM by OANST

I don't hate gay people. I get on with the various gay members of OWF, don't I? I hate homosexuality, but I don't hate homosexuals. So I don't like that they do it, but I have lots of friends who do things I don't approve of because I'm a Christian; it doesn't stop me liking the people. I don't judge people by the the traits I don't like, or I would have to hate myself, too.

If they find out you've got a good excuse not to take part in one case, they send you home and call you up again when they find a case you aren't biased against, or so I'm led to believe.

So amusing suggestions on how to get out of scary jury service are still welcome

I'm not looking for serious answers; short of breaking both my arms, I don't think I'm likely to get out of it.

...

Posted 05-18-2010 at 03:08 PM by Splat

Updated 05-18-2010 at 04:23 PM by Splat

	Muahahahhahahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahahaha!
	Posted 05-18-2010 at 03:25 PM by T-nex

	...Take it seriously?
	Posted 05-18-2010 at 03:50 PM by Mac Sirloin

	Homosexuality is a weakness? Nice.
	Posted 05-18-2010 at 03:58 PM by Disgruntled Intern

	Ok, I re-worded that. Sorry.
	Posted 05-18-2010 at 04:23 PM by Splat

	And, several weeks later:
	Posted 05-18-2010 at 10:53 PM by Nate

	My post may have sounded meaner than I intended it to. I know what your position is, and while I think it's illogical and silly, I don't believe that you hate gay people.
	Posted 05-19-2010 at 05:49 AM by OANST

	I don't see the difference between saying "I hate homosexuals" or "I hate homosexuality". But that's a discussion for another time .
	Posted 05-19-2010 at 06:33 AM by Havoc

	If your best friend is an alcoholic, you don't hate him for that. You hate his alcoholism. You want to help him. I think it's the same way with splat, and in his eyes homosexuality is something like alcoholism.
	Posted 05-19-2010 at 07:25 AM by T-nex

	I see. Thanks.
	Posted 05-19-2010 at 07:48 AM by Havoc

	: If your best friend is an alcoholic, you don't hate him for that. You hate his alcoholism. You want to help him. I think it's the same way with splat, and in his eyes homosexuality is something like alcoholism. How is that any less narrow minded or repugnant than flat out hating homosexuals?
	Posted 05-19-2010 at 09:59 AM by Disgruntled Intern

	JEEZE T-NEX YOU'RE WORSE THAN HITLER
	Posted 05-19-2010 at 10:00 AM by Mac Sirloin

	Kastere, where is your new avatar from? It's been bothering me.
	Posted 05-19-2010 at 10:02 AM by Disgruntled Intern

	: How is that any less narrow minded or repugnant than flat out hating homosexuals? I think her point was that Splat doesn't hate the person doing the sinful things, just the cause that makes him do those sinful things. In the interest of peace we'll ignore how perceiving homosexuality as sinful is retarded to begin with.
	Posted 05-19-2010 at 10:28 AM by Havoc

	Yes, good. Because in that argument I believe the cause would be happiness and love. Two very Christian themes. Whoops.
	Posted 05-19-2010 at 10:49 AM by Disgruntled Intern

	In the interest of peace I'll ignore how you called attention to how perceiving homosexuality as sinful is retarded to begin with by sayin you'd ignore it. ....wait.
	Posted 05-19-2010 at 10:54 AM by Grieva

Yes, good. Because in that argument I believe the cause would be happiness and love. Two very Christian themes. Whoops.

Did we just agree on something?

In the interest of peace I'll ignore how you called attention to how perceiving homosexuality as sinful is retarded to begin with by sayin you'd ignore it.

Thank you for explaining that. I'm not sure any of us would have understood that without your help.

Posted 05-19-2010 at 10:56 AM by Havoc

	It's from a Tim and Eric skit where they reenacted a baffling scene from Tim Goes to the Mayor, Tim makes the "Tom is displeased" face at the very end. Here's the full picture, ignore the text. Also, can we not get into a debate about Splat's beliefs? The guy acknowledged that he took it a bit far and edited his post, let's leave it where it is.
	Posted 05-19-2010 at 11:27 AM by Mac Sirloin Updated 05-19-2010 at 11:33 AM by Mac Sirloin

	: Did we just agree on something? stfu Thanks kastere
	Posted 05-19-2010 at 11:30 AM by Disgruntled Intern

	Yeah. Equating homosexuality to alcoholism surely doesn't make the position sound any smarter.
	Posted 05-19-2010 at 11:40 AM by OANST

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