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  #1  
06-29-2003, 02:11 AM
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Exclamation Evit's Oddysee



Evit's Oddysee

First a flash of light, a light.... purple in color, a bright light. A very bright light. Blinding! Followed by some unexplainable mechanical sound... "I... I'm flummoxed! What had happened? Who am I? What am I?". These thoughts motored through this person's mind, but this one person, did not know the person he was, he knew nothing. He awoke to flame around his bandaged body, the bandages were hot. He had obviously been out some time after the fire started. The flames were hellish and circled around him like flaming oddelchures, the room was on fire, not like the fires you see on movies like Back Draft. It was worse. The flames were bulging in a way, then it hit him, it was an explosion of major proportions, the heat and smoke was too much for him. He felt like a Slobster being boiled alive in a pot, the devlish heat burning the outsides while the insides firmly cook. He tried to move but...he was strapped. Strapped to a chair. A chair like he's never seen before, "Help!", he screamed futiley. Then it happened, a huge, blinding explosion thrust at him, burning him. The pain. The pain. The world of hurt. He closed his eyes only to feel a cool breeze within a few seconds, what happened, boiling to cool? Did he die? Was he in Heaven? He opened his eyes to see a two big moons, a Gabbit moon, and a Mudokon moon... and a Blimp, with a Gabbit and a Mudokon standing on it's edge. He then saw the tree below, getting closer and closer and then....he blacked out.

To be continued....

whatya think?
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Last edited by Sekto Springs; 06-29-2003 at 01:37 PM..
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  #2  
06-29-2003, 02:26 AM
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sorry for dubble posting
but get this....four views no replies! reply already!
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  #3  
06-29-2003, 03:24 AM
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Niiice!

I really like the logo, though by looking at it, it gives me the impression that the story is about a fish.

It's not about a fish, though.
...Right?
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  #4  
06-29-2003, 03:29 AM
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no its not about a fish, its about an unknown creature....
ok heres the plot in a nutshell:
Evit was hacked up in vykkers labs so bad that he dont know what or who he is, after VL explodes he escapes as described and seeks out to find out who he is.
i'll post capter two tomoorow (it's 12:30 at night here, so wait for about 9 hours and i'll post chapter two) i just goota get some rest....signing off
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Last edited by Sekto Springs; 06-28-2003 at 07:32 PM..
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  #5  
06-29-2003, 03:32 AM
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I've always found thoes "finding out who I am" plots appealing.

Cudos.
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  #6  
06-29-2003, 03:44 AM
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ok chapter 2 is tomorrow.... i cant give you anything on chapter 2 except its gonna be cool, no faulse promises made...oh and i'll post a drawing of Evit pronto
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  #7  
06-29-2003, 01:03 PM
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ok chapter 2

Birds chirping. He slowly opened his eyes, at first his surroundings were blurred, but soon came into focus. He saw trees above, and as if a blessing he was below the only opening among the trees and the light shined in like rays of magic. Then he felt the pain, he wish he hadn't come to, he felt aches and pains in all his bones. He tried to move but that just made the pain worse, but he had to move, he made and attempt to sit up. His bones cracked as if into place... he groaned soarly. "Where am I? What happened?". He shunned away from the light for it hurt his eyes, he rolled over in the shade of a large tree with gnarled roots. He sat there for hours thinking things out in different ways but it always broke down to Who Am I? But who was he really? He tried to remember as hard as he could but it was blank as a piece of virgin sapling paper. When pain had lifted he stood up only slip and slide down a large, very large gnarled root. He reached the end that curled up and he went flying, "aaaaaaaah" he screamed. He landed in a knee deep part of a river, Crolaithe River to be exact. Then...then he heard the voice.

to be continued....
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Last edited by Sekto Springs; 06-29-2003 at 05:08 AM..
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  #8  
06-29-2003, 03:46 PM
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every oddysee or exoddus has to have a second logo...
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  #9  
06-29-2003, 08:42 PM
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Damn, your a good artist!

It looks like Evrit has a thumb spike. Inspired by an
Iguanodon, perhaps?

Just a thought.
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  #10  
06-29-2003, 09:23 PM
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Ooooh. Very nice. Those logos are awesome, you're an excellent artist. Though as Dipstikk said, it appeared that the story would be about a fish.
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  #11  
06-29-2003, 09:36 PM
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ok just to let you know that there's no ending to this, it'll drag on forever, i'm writing six more chapters befor Evits exoddus...
heres a pic for Evits exoddus:
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  #12  
06-29-2003, 09:53 PM
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:
Originally posted by Gryph the Slig
Though as Dipstikk said, it appeared that the story would be about a fish.
Yay!
People are startng to notice me!
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  #13  
06-29-2003, 10:03 PM
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it aint about a fish!!!!!!!!
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  #14  
06-29-2003, 11:22 PM
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:
Originally posted by sligslinger
it aint about a fish!!!!!!!!
No...
of course not...


(j/k)
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  #15  
06-30-2003, 04:56 AM
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Excellent work Sligslinger. And please dont just think your dragging it on with your writing. There is no real set guidelines for how long stories have to be. Some writers are known to write over fifty chapters. Anyways I think you should keep writing as much as you want. I like the story, and I also like that you have a symbol/poster for your story.

Anyways keep it up!

Oh and before I forget what program did you use to make all those cool designs for your cover art?
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  #16  
06-30-2003, 05:44 PM
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I used Fireworks MX to make them, Al

Chapter 3

"Evit" said a strange echoing voice, female. "Come back to us, Come back...back...back" the voice echoed in his mind, Who are you? the question now was. "Hello?", he said, "I will be here, waiting, watching...watching....watching" The voice replied sadly and then faded. "Do you know who I am? Who are you? Come back, don't leave me! Who...Am...I?", but no reply met his bandaged ears. He slowly walked up on land and then......

He awoke inside a cavern of a sort, he tried to pull up but was lightly stuck to the spacious floor, when freed of the mysterious stick he rubbed his index and thumb to and pulled them apart to reveal the red residue, blood, his blood. After standing up dizzily he saw the red, blood soaked bandages on his chest. He's dead.....

to be continued....
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  #17  
07-01-2003, 07:50 AM
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Oddworld Bravo!!!!!!!

Wow!!!!! If I could, I would make a fan game about it!!!!!!!!!
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  #18  
07-02-2003, 12:01 AM
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Re: Bravo!!!!!!!

:
Originally posted by Ghost
Wow!!!!! If I could, I would make a fan game about it!!!!!!!!!
to late i already have (workin on it)
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  #19  
07-05-2003, 04:18 PM
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sorry, but am makin this story part of my cartoon movie, to see the end you have to watch it, itt'll be here soon.
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  #20  
07-13-2003, 06:47 AM
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:
Originally posted by Dipstikk
Niiice!

I really like the logo, though by looking at it, it gives me the impression that the story is about a fish.

It's not about a fish, though.
...Right?
At first, I thought Munch was an insect before I brought the game, Dipstick, so don't worry!
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  #21  
08-02-2003, 01:33 PM
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this is just the greatest. if its done i myght create a book of for my little oddworld store... with youre permission ofcourse.
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  #22  
08-02-2003, 04:22 PM
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as long as you include "based on an idea by Kai Fern" ok
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  #23  
08-02-2003, 04:38 PM
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sorry for the }ubble post you guys, but since people have been endlessly PMing me askin for more, i have decided to post summore chapters, merry x-mas to all so all shut the hell up!

The truth in corrolation to "Evit's" death shrowded his mind, how it had happened raced through his mind. Endless. Why had this happened, when he looked up into the darkness, he saw him, a tall figure wrapped in bandages much like his own. He looked deep into the figures black, empty eyes. The figure raised his hand and...."mind has raced, more erased, thou shalt not call, the crolaithe of all, none shall fail, all shall perish, the blood of millions spilt to cherish!". A zap of extreme pain inhabited his body and shot him into an instant shock, images, strange images, unexplainable images raced through his mind adding more mental pain to his already fatal mental plague. He awoke in a forest, the crolaithe forest, why crolaithe, what was it? He felt the wind and the dried leaves blew into his face, blocking his face for a second, when he opened his eyes, the figure was up in a tree on the longest branch. A voice echoed in his head, "crolaithe...lies..untrue....danger" his voice was broken and unfinished, "Evit" walked on, but where was he going?

To be continued.....
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  #24  
08-02-2003, 11:10 PM
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I'm wowed and impressed, did you used to work for OWI 'cos I swear I wasn't told?! Your graphics are great as well. Keep it up Slig.
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  #25  
08-03-2003, 03:38 AM
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yea, well i have a very large artisitic history
wets death
Krazy Kats Komix
Cog chronicles
Sadness 3
worked with the anime .Hack/sign
this story
The Oddworld cartoon series (still in production)
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  #26  
08-07-2003, 12:22 PM
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When will you post the new chapter, sligslinger???

It's COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!
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  #27  
08-07-2003, 03:37 PM
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i will put it up SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
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  #28  
08-07-2003, 05:13 PM
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When are we going to see Evrit?

You SAID you'd post a picture!
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  #29  
08-07-2003, 05:38 PM
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WAAAAIIIIT Dippstik!!!

I don't think he wants to let us seee it YET (Right sligslinger??)
But personally i want to see him too
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  #30  
08-08-2003, 12:46 AM
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Interesting...
I do like the art. I'm not to good at computer graphic work, because my peice of junk barely passes as a computer, it's so old... So I work better with paper.
The story is nice too. Though, it might be a little easier to the eye with small paragraphs, or maybe gaps when someone speaks. Just a suggestion.

Question: How did the character decide to call himself 'Evit'? If he has no memory, where did the name come from?
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