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  #1  
04-27-2002, 11:30 AM
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Inevitable...

(OOC: This is actually on the normal Dimension of Oddworld. Not the Dimension that Lance is in.)

Screams could be heard from down the corridors. Orkhid guards dressed in white carried cattle-prods awaiting any disruption from their patients...or more accuratly their prisoners. Children were crying, their cells were white. They have no bed and hardly anything to keep them occupied. Usually the children kept in there were sane...maybe just a little over enthusiastic about certain things. But after 2 weeks in their cells they were classed as 'Dilusional' and a 'Danger to the Orkhid race' their parents would then discard them. Trying for another child to replace their defect one. Rehabilitation was often tried on these victims of Orkhid regime, the 'P-Chair' was often used by the Scientists and Dr's to 'Cleanse' the purity out of the 'Simple' children. It was hard for them...they lead a good life (To Orkhid standards anyway.). Sure, they were beaten for minor offences. Disobeidiance usually lead to broken bones and shattered ribs. Theft was dealt with by the 'X-chair'. A chair that was designed to send 5-25 volts of electricity into their genetalia for 3-7 mins depending on the item stolen. Orkhid' were brutal to their offspring, but it was for their own good. When they are first born they are checked for crippling defects, such as Downsyndrome or blindness. Anything that could risk the progress of Orkhid society was sought out and either fixed or destroyed. Many children in the Rehab compound were victims of sods law. Most were born satisfactory as babies, everything was functioning normally, they could see, hear etc. But when their 10th birthday comes they are dragged to the Chair. Probes fixed into their heads and the Scientists delve into the darkest secrets of their Guinea Pigs. Any children that had peacful thoughts in their head were sent to the 'Corrax room' for 2 weeks. After the 2 weeks they were put in the chair again and checked out...if their was little to no improvement they were thrown out with the rubbish...allowing the scavengers to feast on them. However, children with death on their mind and the destruction of all things living were taken to the 'Corran room' in which they were 'Rehabilitated'. Like before, if in 2 weeks their is no improvement they were killed. 35% of children managed to get out of the compound and join the Orkhid army. 15% were KIA and 1% were sent back to the compound.
In the compound the horrendous actions of the staff were probably the reason why so little were able to go and join the ranks. The guards used to rape the kids, beat them and force them to fight each other. The Scientists and Dr's hated this, yet, had no way of knowing if it had stopped for sure. The world of Rehabilitation was a brutal one...

*Setting: A small 12 year old child is sat hunched in the corner of the padded room. His lunch on the floor in front of him, untouched by his white fingers. His pupils were little specks in a mass of bluey-purple. His hair black, running down his back. This child had been beaten, raped, the lot. Things were done to him that should never be done to any child. He was emotionally tortured and psychologically scarred. Un-able to speak his white face was permanantly fixed in a statue like state. He wore no clothing, he was naked as the day he was born. Scars graced his wrists and left arm. Classed as 'too nice' and a 'pansy' he was awaiting to be dragged to the dreaded room of Corrax for the 57th time. It was said he was making progress. But where would it end? When would they stop forcing him to watch brutality and death?*

A sigh escaped Alexie' mouth. Voices spoke to him in his head, telling him stuff like 'Die' and 'Rot'. He wished he could. But he was on suicide watch, security camera's 9 foot above his head were watching his every move. Awating him to attempt death so that they could secretly alert the guards who would rush in and beat him again. Telling the Scientists that 'He tried to kill them.'. His food was pinkish mulch, and looked immensly un-appetising. It probably concealed a sleeping drug anyway. Like the last time. It was on a Grey plastic tray, much like the ones you'd find at school. Piled up it was, over flowing onto the white cushiony floor. Slowly he moved, crawling naked upto the 'food'. A wicked smile spread across his face like a old friend meeting with him again. He had forgotten what it was like to smile and now his cheeks hurt. He outstretched a scarred arm and grasped the tray, dragging it towards him he watched the mulch wobble grossly. He turned his head upwards and checked the camera out. Scooping a big blob of pink gunk he attempted to throw it at the mechanical eye.
*Flopsh*
It hit the wall inches away from the camera. He brushed the hair out of his eyes and attempted again.
*Flobksh*
It missed by what seemed like metres. A determined and increasingly frustrated look morphed onto his face. He was too weak to hit the camera and too stubborn to not die. His tongue poked out of the side of his mouth as he tipped the gunk out onto the floor. A grunt escaped his weezing lungs as he bent the plastic, white marks appeared on the fold as the material began to strain. With what seemed like hours the plastic finally snapped. The tray was in two and Alexie finally had his chance to escape this Hell hole. With the song 'The man that you fear' by Marilyn Manson running through his head he brought one half of the plastic tray to his throat, the edge was razor sharp and could do some serious harm. It was perfect. With one foul swipe of the mulch stained weapon, his throat was slashed. His body seemed to float to the ground peacefully and all that could be heared was the voices singing in his head. The voices...

~End~

(OOC: Could i have some feedback again please. Thanks. Oh and some ideas on how to make my stories better. Cheers.)
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Last edited by Jacob; 04-01-2003 at 09:17 AM..
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  #2  
04-29-2002, 03:32 AM
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Great introduction Jacob! I've read a couple of your fics and I STILL don't know what a Orkhid is. Could you please explain really quick for me? It might make it easier to read for me. Thanks, and keep this one going
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  #3  
04-29-2002, 06:26 PM
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Right...erm. Orkhids are like human in physique. Most of them have black hair. Sometimes dark or white (On occasion...I.E Cyrus (Check the RPG aaages bak if u want to read about him)) They have marksmenship vision, good sense of smell and can sense certain things. Is that ok or you want more?
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America: So soaked in Religion its seething with Sin.

"In Heaven all the interesting people are missing" - Friedrich Nietzsche

"America is the most grandiose experiment the world has seen, but, I am afraid, it is not going to be a success." - Sigmund Freud

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  #4  
04-29-2002, 11:24 PM
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Again, Jacob, great intro. But I just have one question. How do Earth bands keep coming into the stories? It's not a major problem, just something nagging at me. Looking forward to more.
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  #5  
04-30-2002, 05:53 PM
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lol, it just goes really well with the theme i think. If your like me then when i re-read my story listening to a certain song i enjoy it more and connect to it more (How sad).
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America: So soaked in Religion its seething with Sin.

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"America is the most grandiose experiment the world has seen, but, I am afraid, it is not going to be a success." - Sigmund Freud

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  #6  
05-01-2002, 12:57 AM
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Idea

Thanks for answering my question. I can understand that. I've been known to put Terran things in my stories too.
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  #7  
05-02-2002, 04:46 PM
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Jacob, that was absolutely fanstatic. I love the word style and the entire emotion behind it, the cold type.

Pleaseplease write a book. I don't actually care about what, but I know I'd buy it. Your writing style blows me away, kay? I wish I could write like that in interludes for Crimson Feather or whatnot... *would-be sob*

But seriously. Great stuff. I hope to see more. :)


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