50 ways to annoy Director Phleg, if ever you get the chance to visit Oddworld:
1) Open all his packets of cigars. Empty a sachet of tomato ketchup into each one.
2) Remove the seat from his toilet bowl.
3) Put an OXO cube in his showerhead.
4) Put all his video cassettes in the wrong boxes.
5) Put dessicated cocunut in the bone grinders instead of bones.
6) Un-make his bed.
7) Photograph him and post the picture on
www.amihotornot.com.
8) Now that you know what his address is, sign him up for all the annoying mailing lists/filthy porno magazines you can find.
9) Take off his front door and put police tape over the space where it use to be.
10) Come to that, take all his doors off and stack them up in the garden.
11) Slap him a lot. He won't be able to do much about it since he wears clothing that bnds his limbs together.
12) Reset his alarm to go off really early in the morning.
13) Keep turning off all the bone drills in his factory.
14) Poke him repeatedly.
15) Squeeze his toothpaste from the middle of the tube.
16) Slip something red in with his white load of laundry... PINK UNDIES!
17) Glukks hate sudden bright light. Turn an overhead projector on and place it so that the light is facing his closed bedroom door. When he opens it, he'll be greeted with a huge flood of light.
18) Don't just short sheet his bed, put Corn Flakes between the mattress and sheets too.
19) Put goldfish in all his toilets.
20) Turn all his pictures and posters upside down.
21) Turn everything in his fridge upside down.
22) Staple every important paper on his desk together.
23) Ask him, "Hey, is it true that you're getting fired? That's what Dripik, Aslik and Brewmaster told me."
24) Put Ambesol on the filters of his cigars.
25) Learn to impersonate someone more important than him. Call him, using the impersonated voice, asking him to write incident report/memo on "his problem". Watch as he turns it in.
26) If he wins some kind of prestigious award, manufacture a phony memo from Queen Maragaret announcing the discontinuance of the award.
27) Kidnap his personal assistant Slig and leave a ransom note.
28) Seal his desk in cling film.
29) Put a live Fuzzle in his filing cabinet.
30) Pull the labelled buttons off his phone. Rearrange them. Put them back on the phone.
31) Find out who he has on Speed Dial.
32) Make a really expensive international call. Leave the phone off the hook.
33) Eat all his food.
34) Put all his expensive designer suits in the washing machine and set it for 80 degrees.
35) Put sticky stuff on all the door handles of his house.
36) Give him a swirlie.
37) Put confetti or baby powder in the air vents of his house.
38) Cancel all his manicure appointments.
39) Tell him he looked a lot better when he was younger.
40) Set all the Mudokons in Bonewerkz free.
41) Shove popcorn up his nostrils.
42) Tell him how much less you paid for your bone grinding equipment.
43) Take his hankie from his breast pocket, blow your nose in it, then put it back.
44) Pull his ears.
45) The old favourite: cling film on the toilet seat.
46) Another simple but sweet cliche: curry powder in the coffee.
47) Gaffer tape his eyes shut when he's asleep.
48) Superglue his fingers together.
49) Find some embarrassing photos of him and e-mail them to Molluck.
50) Possess him.
50 ways to annoy Director Phleg
