I'm really sorry for your lost.
*doesn't really know what to say*
I know how hard it is to lose someone you love. Just try to hang in there!
When my grand mother had cancer I was 12-13 and I thought she was going to be ok.. I thought that "she is in hospital now and they are taking care of her and she will recover.." Then one day I was at my uncle's with my parents and they were talkin about how they thought my grand mother wouldn't probably live through the night and I was like "What???!!!". I had just thought for the whole time that she would beat the cancer. It was really a shock when I found out that she was going to die. I was really pissed off at my parents coz they hadn't told me how serious it really was. Though I should've noticed it by myself coz she was in such a bad shape.. I just kept on hoping that she would live so much that I didn't see the obvious.
This weird thing happened to me that night. My parents were at the hospital with my grandparents and I was at home with my sis. She was already sleeping and I was watching some mini series on TV. Then suddenly I just felt so sad. I started crying and were talking to myself. Saying goodbye to my grand mom..
I just cried and cried and I don't know where that came from so suddenly. I just knew she was dead. I looked at the clock and the time was 11:45 pm.
Then the next morning my mom came to wake me up for school and told me that my grand mother had passed away. I didn't start crying or anything and I didn't really feel anything. I was just empty. I already knew that.. I just said like "oh.." or something to my mom. I was kinda out of it.. Then I asked her "when?" and she told me that it happened 11.45 pm....