Political philosophies explained in simple two cow terms

One, Two, Middlesboogie · #1 01-04-2002, 05:12 PM

Saw this on another board.

SOCIALISM
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.

FASCISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.

BUREAURACY
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.

CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

CORPORATE
You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead.

DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.

Melvin:squeeking paramite · #2 01-04-2002, 08:06 PM

Hehehe, this is one of your best topics yet, Middlesboogie! Hilarious...
Keep up the good topics...

Danny · #3 01-04-2002, 10:20 PM

*narrows eyes* I don't like the "Capitalism is good" message... Vaguely funny though...

What's with all the funny topics anyway? What website are you on?

Steve · #4 01-05-2002, 01:33 AM

capitalism: sell them both get a bull and a bear and die trying to get something out of the bear?

well I don't know politics that much and I don't think that makes any sense.

Danny · #5 01-05-2002, 12:08 PM

How about

Capitalism: Sell both cows and buy a Porsche...

?

Sal the Mudokon · #6 01-05-2002, 08:14 PM

Ive heard that before! It was on a quiz game i played a long time ago. the person reads off the first ones and you have to guess wat they would do in capitalism. i remember saying that they would sell them both and go to disney land!...i was obviously wrong.

Sal the Mudokon · #7 01-05-2002, 08:20 PM

DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. The government taxes you to let your cow eat good grass in a good pasture just so that your spoiled-assed pesimistic decendents can bitch about it on the internet.

there, that's much more accurate.

Danny · #8 01-05-2002, 09:17 PM

Whoa, less of the bitching there, Matt. Let's keep this one on MSN, shall we?

On a side-note: I am fairly sure your signature exceeds the size allowed by the rules: http://www.oddworldian.net/oddworldforums/rules.html You'd better change it...

SeaRex · #9 01-06-2002, 12:19 PM

Jockocracy: You have 2 cows. The Dean[sp] of a State Colledge steals both of them. He then puts the cows on a Colledge Football team. If they have a good season, the cows get boss you around and force you to dress like a prep. If they lose, they are ground into hamburgers and more athletic cows are put on the team.