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  #1  
02-05-2010, 08:28 AM
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Death's Door - A Wolvark Fanfic

Death's Door

Chapter 1: Loaded Rifles

The barkeeper had a stained apron. He was currently balancing three glasses in his right hand, while cleaning another glass with a cloth his left hand. He wore a wrecked Top Hat which had completely ripped around the top. He wore sandals and a pair of baggy, worn-out jeans.

"Is it really that surprising?” the old barkeeper said. I look at him through my blue-tinted sunglasses. Within the barkeepers withered eyes I see doubt and disbelief, I find myself staring deep within myself... as if his eyes were a mirror into my soul.

I cleared my throat, "Well, I suppose not". I take another sip of the sweet smelling fluid. They called it ‘Guard Whiskey’, although its proper name was Alfermahide... Nobody ever used that name.

I made a wheezing noise as I exhaled, "Pfft, this is pretty strong stuff, even for a Wolvark like me". The barkeep chuckled, "Ya tellin' me, Furlong? I even used to brew some when I was younger. Got in trouble when the booze was confiscated by them Vykkers."

I turn around, placing the glass on the table. I stare once more into the eyes of the barkeep. "That was when that incident happened right? How you lost that patch of skin near your chest?" The barkeeper nodded before tending to the other costumers.

Perhaps I had said too much... or else not said the right thing. Regardless, there wasn't a lot I could have said about that particular night. Best just forgetting I mentioned it.

"#@&%!" I exclaim... once again taking a sip of the beer. I relished in its sweet yet shocking aftertaste.

Before leaving I take a moment to look in the barkeeper's direction. I then proceed to walk out of the building and think about my next assignment. What a headache.

= * = * =

Hello everyone. I know it's been a while since I wrote my last story. I heard complaints that I only write about Sligs. Well this one is not about Sligs. Also, I do not plan on including Sligs at any point during this story.

Please feel free to comment. Remember, every single comment will help make my stories better. Your opinion is valued
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  #2  
02-05-2010, 08:36 AM
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this is going to be refreshing. i can tell. i'm genuinely glad you've started a new story up; our experienced writers aren't writing much at the moment, save for a few.

nice one.
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  #3  
02-05-2010, 09:01 AM
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I think this will be an interesting adventure. I do quite like the barkeeper's description, as it paints the picture. For the moment though, we have no idea who the main character actually is, aside from that he has blue-tinted sunglasses, and is most likely a Wolvark.
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  #4  
02-05-2010, 01:07 PM
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hey nice introduction in the story! I also like the writing style and the fact that it is about wolvarks ^___^

the atmosphere is nice too, I'm looking forward to the next chapter
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  #5  
02-06-2010, 03:32 AM
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Thank you for all the comments, I found them helpful. Nice to know I still have plenty of fans here!

Let me know if you have any story requests, I'd be happy to think of other ways to make the story interesting and also get some positive feedback.

I'm going to try and make this a world which is an interesting place to be in. I'm taking inspiration from Thief, Fallout 3 and Madworld. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

= * = * =

Chapter 2: Deadline

As I open the wooden door, the overwhelming stench of the city hits my nose. Bad sewage management, waste disposal, water treatment facilities... no wonder it smelt so awful. At least most of the times when you get out of that place, you're so drunk that you can't smell anything.

I wrap the red bandana around my nose. The bandana was large enough to cover the entire lower half of my face.

As I walked across the cobbled pavement, I was thinking about my next target. Ekolb Taht, a wanted criminal. This guy was dangerous. With so many murders committed, he was not someone to take lightly. I wasn't about to run in guns blazing either.

I walked into the nearest shop and purchased a chunk of Paramite Cheese and a fuzzletrap. After my preparations were set, I headed for Eklob's house.

= = =

It was very early morning, the mist was thick and it made finding my way around very difficult. I stubbed my toe on a jagged piece of pavement. Thankfully the boots absorbed most of the damage. Still hurt like Ode though.

I approach Eklob's house. The lights were off. He was either napping, hiding or out of the house. I slowly creep along the wall outside and look through the windows. It looks like he fell asleep while listening to the radio. Now's my chance.

I walk up to the door and get out my lock pick. It's an old lock so that makes it easy for me. I turn the handle quietly and sneak into the main room. Eklob was still snoring as I approached him from behind the old armchair. Each step brought me closer to my goal.

I was about to make my move when I heard a loud noise from behind.
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  #6  
02-06-2010, 05:18 AM
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Seems this wolvark is either a hitman or assassin... This could be interesting.
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  #7  
02-06-2010, 05:25 AM
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awaiting the next instalment! good tension.
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02-07-2010, 12:29 PM
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this was a good one ^___^ hehehe I enjoy reading this... hope the next one will be up soon ^.^
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  #9  
02-07-2010, 01:29 PM
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Nice job Alex. I don't know why people complained about you writing sligfanfiction. This is an oddworld forums, where else if not here can you express your fandom for sligs.

Any way, i like this story. I think you should put sligs in a later chapter if you want.
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  #10  
02-08-2010, 12:19 AM
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It's because I wrote about primarily Sligs. Although people often overlooked my non-Slig stories. Anyway, I'm happy to write about Wolvarks so I'll try this out for a little while longer. It's nice to be writing fanfiction again. Thank you for all the comments. I'll make a new chapter very soon.
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  #11  
02-08-2010, 03:31 AM
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Wolvarks are cool,
Wolvarks are awesome!
They make Sligs drool
An' make Muds look dumb!

Sorry about the bad poetry there, but I do enjoy this story, even though it's just begun.
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  #12  
02-09-2010, 03:03 PM
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Chapter 3: Inversion

Since the lights were off, I could barely see anything. I wait a few short seconds before turning around slowly... nothing there. Possibly a stray Fleech or something. Ekolb's snoring once more caught my attention. Time to tag him and get him bagged.

I move my hand downwards towards my belt. I grip my yellow whip and move my arm backwards, preparing to swing. I then fully swing the whip, allowing it to hit Ekolb. Ekolb would have probably yelled out, but the whip makes that impossible. The end of the whip is coated with several nano-injectors which cause a tranquilization effect to the victim. I open the door from the inside and then drag him out into the streets. Hope the cobbles won't bother him too much.

That was the easy part. Now I had to drag this 29 stone fellow back to base. That's right. I had to drag this guy about ten miles in a brown bag. How noticeable do you think that makes me? I'll tell you how... VERY noticeable. Yeah.

The streets were cold at night. The fog was thick and the walls were thicker still. Most of this sector was full of apartments and fifteen foot high walls. Dark gray bricks, with little dents here and there. Not to mention the odd jagged nail or two.

Well turns out it was easier than I thought. At least, it was for the first eight miles. On the ninth mile, my feet begin to get sore and my arms begin to feel heavy. A few more miles of sluggish speed... I had to swap arms a lot and keep taking breaks. My breathing was getting heavy.

Suddenly I hear a whistling nearby. Darn, seems like the law is around every corner these days. I saw a dumpster nearby, I place Ekolb's body there while I think he won't see it... then I wait for those inevitable words.

"Well hello there. What are you doing out this late at night?"

= * = * =

EDIT: enchilado, I'm merely a rookie. I find it hard to compare myself with the great writers like molluck's assistant, Sl'askia and Teal. Even Moosh Da Outlaw and Munch's Master are still people that I really admire.

I just try and write what I would like to hear. I get inspired easily by watching films and playing games. Thank you all for the support. This is a real boost for me to be able to inspire others and help people to relax.

EDIT AGAIN: Okay Oddey, thanks for reminding me.
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Last edited by AlexFili; 02-11-2010 at 02:30 AM..
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  #13  
02-09-2010, 04:35 PM
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Wow! Great story so far, although I must say I love Sligs so much I don't care how much you write about them

All the fanfiction I've posted here so far is really bad; I'm not built for fanfiction. Yours, however, is wonderful. I can't wait to read more.
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02-09-2010, 04:53 PM
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Coooool...
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  #15  
02-10-2010, 04:59 AM
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I would like to know who designed the whip and told the wolvark that it's covered in nano-injectors... Aside from that, you pinned the law enforcer guy's attitude very well.

Edit: I just noticed that it says that he had to drag that guy about ten miles... But he seems to have dragged him eleven...
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02-10-2010, 09:38 AM
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great chapter the idea of a whip covered with nano-injectors as a weapon is quite interresting ^^ perhaps it's a part of a plant (-like the stinging nettle or something) or it's a part of an animal? ...

I'm looking forward to the next one ^-^
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  #17  
02-11-2010, 09:00 AM
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Alex, you are in no way a rookie. you've distinguished your own style and i love it. you're amongst the few writers here i enjoy reading the works of. good on you.

i wonder how he's going to get out of this situation with the law. and also what species it will be.
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  #18  
02-12-2010, 01:22 AM
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I'm barely entering my first proper year of writing fanfiction, yet already there are so many people who really enjoy my work. My style is hard to define, I guess it partly comes from the fanfiction I've read but also from all the films and games I've experienced. Playing all the Oddworld games helps to keep my ideas open.

I'd like to keep writing as much as possible. Hopefully at least three new stories each year. Right now I feel like going back to my old stories and rewriting them. I'd like to write a new version of Armament and turn it into something worth remembering. While Armament is a classic story of mine, I want to do a kind of re-imagining of it. Same characters, but with a new plot. Think of it as a spiritual remake.

As for Silpher's Pack, I enjoyed the characters but now I dug myself into a bit of a hole. I'm going to try and work on some new material and hopefully get everything back to normal.

Anyway, here's Chapter 4

= * = * =

Chapter 4: The Dark Alleyway

After hearing the voice, I turned around at a normal pace. My whip was concealed in my long coat. I flicked a switch on my goggles to make them point towards the sky. I could see the officer's colours more clearly. He had a long royal blue robe, which had golden buttons sewn on. Along his belt, a truncheon and a pistol.

I smile at the officer and walk a few steps closer. "Hello officer", I said. I try to act as naturally as I can, which is not easy to do when under this kind of pressure. "Bad mist tonight", I say. "Indeed, might I trouble you for the time? My watch is under repair"

"You may", I look at my watch, "It's 1:30AM, sir" The officer nods, "I see. Thank you" I silently sigh in relief as the officer turns around. The officer lingers for a short while as he looks down each alleyway. He then waves to me and walks away.

That was close... I barely had enough time to hide the body. I wait a minute or so before opening the dumpster and taking Ekolb once more. I start dragging him for the final mile and then we arrive at the hideout. I open the door with my key and then place Eklob inside. I give a big sigh of relief before locking the door and playing Eklob into one of the jail cells.

It takes me a while to get my breath... I end up having to go upstairs to rest on the bed. I start to snore as I fall asleep from all the effort. A few hours later, I am suddenly awoken by the sound of a door opening and footsteps nearby. I lazily open my eyes and see a gun being pointed at my face by a mysterious figure. "Remember me?"
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Last edited by AlexFili; 02-12-2010 at 01:53 AM..
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  #19  
02-12-2010, 03:08 AM
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I love cliffhanger chapter endings...as long as it doesn't take three or four days to find out what happens. Keep going, please!
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  #20  
02-12-2010, 07:31 AM
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I wonder if that officer is really an officer... Maybe he's something else...
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  #21  
02-20-2010, 04:41 AM
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great one! i wonder who it is who points the gun at him... I want to read more
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  #22  
02-20-2010, 04:52 AM
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Chapter 5: A Shock

I jump back and fall out of the bed. Then I see who it is and relax. "Geez Clemenza, give me some warning next time", Clemenza just looks at me and giggles. She helps me onto my feet. I gaze into her eyes. She puts the pistol back in it's holster and then looks out of the window for a moment. She was quite pretty for an outlaw. She had long black hair which hung over her shoulderpads. Her eyes revealed her kindness. Like most outlaws she was stocky, but not overly chubby in any way.

After thinking all of this, maybe I am in love with her. But then again it might just be jealousy or a crush... so I'd better wait it out and see what happens. She walks around the room for a while before walking back to where I was. I place my arms around her shoulder and give her a hug. "It's been such a long time since saw each other, I missed you", she nods at me, "Yes it has. I see you managed to catch a bounty tonight. Good work!"

I blush and shuffle my feet around. She smiles and rests her hands on my shoulders. After a while she looks around the room. "I'm beat. I think I'll fall asleep now", I smile as I watch her lie down. I pull the patchwork blanket over her before returning to my own bed.

It's been a hard day's night.

= * = * =

Well that's the end for now. However I shall continue this story in the near future. Thanks again for all the comments. I think I've done well with this story. Hurray for all the Wolvark fans out there!
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Last edited by AlexFili; 02-20-2010 at 04:55 AM..
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  #23  
02-20-2010, 06:58 AM
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wow that was kind of unexpected but cool in it's own way... well I'm looking forward to when you continue this story n,n
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  #24  
02-20-2010, 10:26 AM
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Clemenza? As far as I know, that's a male name. But I don't really know that far, as I live under a rock.
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02-20-2010, 12:06 PM
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i thought Klemenz or Clemenz without the 'a' was male...
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  #26  
02-20-2010, 01:52 PM
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A little odd for a bounty hunter...but then again 'odd' is perfect in Oddworld!
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  #27  
02-20-2010, 02:11 PM
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Oddey may be right there. It sure is odd ^_^
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  #28  
02-21-2010, 08:05 AM
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the cliffhanger in the previous chapter was decent. i'll have to wait for this to get started up again in the future.
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  #29  
02-21-2010, 10:08 AM
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MeechMunchie
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:
i thought Klemenz or Clemenz without the 'a' was male...
Weeel, if it's a name of Latin origin, replacing the suffix -a with -us makes it masculine.

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  #30  
03-15-2010, 01:43 PM
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Lord Stanley
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It's too bad this story had to die...(subtle hint).
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