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  #1  
09-29-2009, 01:59 PM
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Tales of a mudos mercenary 2

Tales of a Mudos mercenary 2
I think it's about time to start my sequel. Forgive me if I'm a little rusty at this.

Prologue
Vance wandered the streets of an unknown town. He could hear the police close by, still searching for him. Its been Months since his escape, the other escapees that aided him were all captured. Vance couldn’t help but wonder why they were still after him, he wasn’t a threat to any one, not even bounty hunters wanted to waste their time capturing him.
It did not matter why, they were still searching for him and that meant he had to hide.

Vance noticed a saloon with plenty of patrons, which was the perfect hiding spot. Luckily the police did not see him enter, which meant Vance was safe for now. But it would not last long

Chapter one: Down time

Khain laid on his bunk silently thinking about his latest missions. Even after his actions back at Barracks 401, the team sill called him “rook”, “newbie”, “new guy” , the usual crap.
It seemed only in intense action they would call him by his real name.
The Slig scratched his head wondering what it would take to get some respect.
The thing was, several missions later and still he was treated like dead weight, all except for
Mr. Bruss and the Boss. He it least earned the respect of his superiors, as far as his name was concerned.

During his down time at the base, Khain would test his skills in the Training course.
He even earned a decent score, but could do better if they didn’t change the course every day. But it helped stay alert and prepared at all times in the field.

One thing that troubled Khain, was the fact that he did not receive pay. Mr.Bruss explained he needed to first pay off his dept for the whole prison incident before he could earn any Moolah.
Only two missions to go. One, if he earned the bonus.
Competing for the bonuses was challenging however, A bonus is usually only offered when they are competing against other mercenary companies, which Khain was not an expert at.
The Velons biggest rival was the Kazar company. They basically did as they please, they had no morals. If a payment wasn’t good enough, they would take what ever they wanted.

Suddenly the alarm was sounded, which meant it was time for another mission.
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  #2  
09-29-2009, 02:38 PM
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Can't wait
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  #3  
10-28-2009, 11:19 PM
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Sorry for the delay.

Chapter 2: Assault plan

Khain made his way to the briefing room as fast as he could, dodging the other scrambling mercs. After he found himself a seat, Mr.Bruss walked up the mic in front of the enormous crowd that was only a small part of the Velon merc. He adjusted his tie for a moment, then fiddled with the mic. When the room fell silent and everyone found a seat, Mr.Bruss opened his briefcase and pulled out a large file and placed it on the stand in front of him.

“Thank you all for coming.” He announced with a low mono tone voice.
“Now, I have gathered you all here to discuss an issue we’ve been having with the Vykkers, involving the fact that they have not given us payment after their last contract. So we’re going to have to take it from them, with deadly force if necessary.” He then waved his hand and the large screen behind him flickered on. On the screen, was a large map of a huge industrial complex.

“We are simply going to do an in and out job here, since their security is no match for our strike teams.” Arrows began pointing to several different points of the area, Khain could barley make out what was on the map.
“You’ll be landing on the outskirts of the facility, from there you’ll ‘dispose’ of some the building for larger landing zones. Hopefully we can transport more supplies from then on. After that, your company commander will lead you through the rest of it and hopefully we will be walking out with this…” A new slide revealed a strange figure wearing black armor, frozen in a cryo tube.

“This is what we want. This is what we’re going in for… This is project Necromancer”
Everyone in the room looked at one another and whispered amongst themselves.
“We don’t know what it does EXACTLY, but we do know the Kazar mercs want it.
So we can not let it fall into there hands. What ever team brings it back will receive a bonus. Dismissed.”

Mr.Bruss closed the file and slipped it back into his briefcase. He then fixed is tie and walked off, without even looking back at the restless crowd. Mean while, Khain and the rest of his team made there way back to the armory. After they suited and geared up, they got on a chopper.
Khain was paired up with Grax, Doc, and Tank. It was a bit crowded with tank, but there was just enough elbow room.

As they waited to reach the LZ, they began discussing the meeting and the mission. Grax was complaing the whole way. “Dammit, I hate these ‘MYSTERY’ jobs! They send us in without any real information and expect us to retrieve some ice-man without question.”
Tank finally couldn’t take it anymore.

“Can it grax! What does it matter? We still get paid and we still get to shoot stuff, so stop your whining. You afraid some monster is going to eat you or something?”

Then Doc had to contribute.

“Well considering this project is named after someone who raises the dead, one can only hope.”

“HEY! If there gonna eat me, they’re sure gonna eat you. Also, the fact that we are actually looking for a Necromancer, does not strike you as odd? I mean what are we going to with a guy who can make zombies, that will most likely try to eat us.”

“Target practice?” Tank suggested

“Think about you two. If we could salvage this technology, we could revive our fallen comrades in the field.” Doc said with a bit of enthusiasm.

“Well that does sound like a great idea. Just think Tank, you could run out in the middle of battle and get blown up multiple times.” Grax said sarcastically.

“You picture ME doing something like that. What about Frag, you don’t see him with C4 on his back running out in that mess.”

“I see that and Doc butchering bodies with cleaver while his victims scream over and over again.”

Khain laughed while Doc crossed his arms.
“Pff. You have no imagination. Please… I could think more PAINFUL ways of dealing with our enemies.” Everyone laughed for a few moments before Doc said he was serious, then it was just the sound of the chopper.

After that they just listened to the radio chatter of the pilots.
Then they could a strange sound in the air, right before a big explosion. Then the pilots started screaming; “Missiles! Every one hang on!”

“Too late! Were going down!”
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  #4  
11-14-2009, 11:21 PM
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Chapter 3: Change of plans

Khain awoke to a battle between his fellow comrades and unknown hostiles. He tried to crawl out of the crashed chopper, but he was to banged up from the crash. He tried to call for help, his voice could not be heard over the constant sounds of guns and bombs going off.

Khain’s vision blurred. He felt like passing out. Two unknown figures took Khain by his arms and dragged him out of the wreckage. The last thing Khain saw, was the fleet of choppers sent to take over this facility, being shot down by missiles and AA guns.

Then a bright light flared on, followed by sudden jolt on his chest that made him jump. Khain awoke Vykkers trying to revive him. The Vykkers showed signs of relief as he regained consciousness. “He’s awake, lets tend to the others.” After they left, Khain sat up to view his surroundings.

He could see several other patients in the room being operated on by the Vykkers and their Interns. Apparently they were not the ones responsible for the attack on the strike force, considering the fact that there helping him. It also seems that the Velon mercs were not the only ones who had their eye on this mysterious project, perhaps there is more to this project than he thought.

Khain then felt a sudden poke in his arm. “OW!” He blurted. Looking over he seen a Vykker injecting him with a green chemical.

“Hey, what do you think your doing?”
“Oh hush, this stuff will get you back on your feet in no time.” Replied the Vykker
Khains wounds instantly healed, his searing pain was finally gone. Then Khain was hoisted into the air by the Intern assistant, who then placed him into fully repaired pants.

“Now follow me.” ordered the Vykker.
Khain did as told and followed without another word. The Vykker led him to room full of armored Intern security Teams surrounding several maps of the complex. The Vykker pointed to map showing the entire surface level.

“These warehouses on the far side of the base is where where your ‘friends’ have set up their HQ.”

“Wait, before you go on, I want answers now.”
“I’m guessing you were unaware of the Kazar’s presence. Well you see, the Kazar came here attempting to steal our technology. Luckily we were prepared for there arrival and closed off most of the entrances, but I highly doubt that will stop them. I’m also guessing you’re here for the same reason they are.”

Khain froze, not trying to set of the room of guards as they all stared at him. The Vykker laughed before continuing.

“Look, I don’t know why you’re attacking us but-”
“Hey! If you would have just paid us, then maybe you wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“Pay YOU, for what?”
“For all those times you hired us.” The Vykker Laughed again.
“I assure you, we never hired you.”
“Then explain to me why we are here.”
“You’re here to steal project Necromancer.”
Khain was confused. How did he know what they were looking for?
“Project what?”
“No need to play dumb with me, I know exactly why you’re here.”
“Look we’re just here to take our pay.”
“Oh really. Tell me this then. If you are here to collect payment, then why come all this way just to get one thing. Don’t deny that you had no knowledge of this project What so ever.”

Khain wanted to know how this Vykker knew all this. He also wanted to know why was he here just for one project. What was Mr. Bruss hiding. After no response from Khain, the Vykker continued.

“Listen to me, that project is locked up for a reason. You do not want mess it, unless you want to doom us all and I know that is not what you want. Please, just get to that HQ and tell your superiors to get everyone out of here. Your armor and equipment is on the table behind you. Just suit up and get to the surface.”

Without another word, Khain suited up. His armor had a few scratches, but it worked just fine. All of his weapons and gear were there as well. After he was ready, the Vykker showed him and few other patched up Troops, a lift to the surface. Khain didn’t know what to do. Should he get to the warehouses and warn the commander? Or should he look for lost teammates? He knew they were still alive out there and he wasn’t willing to just let them die. Either way, he had to make his way to the ware houses with the others to receive orders. He also began to wonder why was the Vykker trying to protect this project. Was it really that dangerous? He wasn’t sure. Everything was happening too fast for him. He just hoped that this mission was all for nothing.
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  #5  
11-15-2009, 02:43 AM
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I really like this story. Definately one of my favorites here. I love never being able to guess where the story is going
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  #6  
11-15-2009, 12:05 PM
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Thanks for the feedback Alex. I got to say, I'm a little discouraged from the lack of comments. Is the story not grasping anyone else here? Like i said, I'm a little rusty at this, but I'm willing to improve.
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  #7  
11-15-2009, 12:53 PM
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how the hell did i miss this for a month? sorry about that, when i visit FC i usually take a quick glance of the first few titles i haven't read yet. i must have gotten this mixed up with another game thread, which i don't really read.

anyway, the prologue was very engaging, and i enjoyed reading this. i like your style of writing as its distinguishable and quite refreshing. also, i became engrossed during the banter in the chopper, very realistic and i could just picture it in my head.

looks like the plot to this will get thicker as time progresses. nice one.
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  #8  
11-15-2009, 01:33 PM
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got the basics of a good story...I think, your dialogues are slightly off in that it takes a minute to work out whose saying what, you haven't written (much) for example:
"I think the fuzzle got stuck in the incinerator again". moaned Humphrey. but
"I think the fuzzle got stuck in the incinerator again". -

Hope this helped
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Oh yeah, fair point. Maybe he was just tortured until he lost consciousness.

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  #9  
11-15-2009, 02:26 PM
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@Scrabtrapman: i thought that might confuse somebody with that. i personally thought it might be a but annoying if i had every line ending with 'Said______' or '_____replied'. I'll try to make it more clear who is speaking.

@MA: That's understandable. My lack of commitment to this story was probably making it hard o get noticed. I'm finally at point where i have the time to sit down and write this.

Thanks for the feedback. it really helps keep me motivated when writing. i'll try to have another chapter soon.
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  #10  
01-25-2010, 03:14 PM
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To prevent this from falling any deeper, Bump. I will edit this post later with an update.
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  #11  
02-01-2010, 03:32 AM
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I like this story. As others said, it's pretty easy to understand and it's a good plot. Keep going!
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  #12  
02-07-2010, 01:17 PM
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Well i finally got around to it.
Chapter 4: Darkness

Grax laid on the floor out cold, Tank tried lead as many friendly mercs inside the building as much as possible. Doc was patching up their wounded teammates. Blood was over him, they were hit pretty hard by their unknown attackers. Tank returned with a small squad of troops, battle torn, but still able to fight. Grax started to grunt, eventually he tried to stand. He rubbed his head a few times, then sat down before he collapsed.

“Ugh… What the hell happened? The last thing I remember was the crash, then nothing.”

Doc turned to face him.
“You were knocked out cold when we crashed, Tank grabbed you and dragged you here along with the others.”

Grax-“What about Khain, Frag, and the Boss?”

Doc-“I have not heard anything from Frag or Boss, but Khain was still in the chopper. Hopefully Tank retrieved him by now.”

Tank stood silently, hoping they would not turn to him asking the where abouts of Khain.

Doc-“Aww Tank, You return. Have you returned with Khain?”

Tank twiddled his thumbs. He didn’t know how to tell them that he couldn’t find him.

Tank-“Right. Yea, Khain wasn’t there when I went back.”

Doc- “What do you mean he wasn’t there? His body didn’t just disappear into thin air!”

Grax- “Calm down. I’m sure Khain got up and headed to safety. I doubt anybody would have taken him. Now the important thing to do now, is figure out what our next move is.”

Doc- “ Well we can’t head out there, we’ll just get slaughtered. Our best bit would be to make our way into this installation and see if we can find project Necromancer. But first I need to finish patching up the wounded here, You, Tank and a few others scout ahead. Try to find somewhere I can operate effectively, like a lab or a medical bay.”

Grax stood up and stretched. Then he pointed to a group Sligs and Wovlarks.(4 each)
Doc- “Alright, the lot of you with me, every one else, guard the Doc.”

They walked down the only dark corridor, weapons in hand and ready for anything.
All Grax had, was a hand gun. Tank had a blitz packer on hand. The others had rifles with lights attached.

It seemed the farther they traveled in, the darker it got. Light was almost scarce, there was only a few lights in each hallway and almost every room was locked. The rooms that weren’t locked were completely thrashed, or they had been collapsed in on. Grax found it odd that they had not come across any security or scientist personnel, or even dead bodies.
Something wasn’t right about this mission, he didn’t know what for sure, but he had a gut feeling that something evil was at work.

The group finally came to a long catwalk over darkness. Grax looked down into the bottomless pit, he lit up a flare and dropped it. It was too deep, if they fell, they would most likely die. As the flare went down deeper, its light faded till it was completely black.
Grax looked at the cables the held it in place. He wasn’t worried about crossing it, he just wasn’t sure Tank could.

Grax- “What do you think Tank, think you could cross it?”
Tank placed a hand on the hand rail.
Tank- Seems sturdy enough.

Grax- “Just walk out a ways, if it makes any noise head back.”

Tank walked slowly, half way out and he was still going. When Tank made it to the other side, Grax sent the four others across. Then he and the others began to cross. Grax made it half way then stopped, he turned and saw three green lights. He put one hand on his pistol and kept the other on the hand rail. The Green lights then backed into the shadows, disappearing from sight. Suddenly two cables snapped and Grax froze instantly. More cables snapped and Grax began to run towards Tank, but before he could reach safety, one side of the catwalk fell. Grax and the others slid downward, Tank Grabbed hold of two of his comrades, while the others clung to the hand rail bars. The rest of the cables snapped and so the catwalk fell into the abyss.
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  #13  
02-08-2010, 03:40 AM
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Cool! I always love the part where the catwalk snaps and we have to wait for the next chapter. I hate that in a movie, where you have to wait 3 years for the next movie, but in Oddworld fanfiction, it's cool!

Thanks for adding who's talking when.
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04-18-2010, 10:36 AM
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Well i finally got busy and wrote another chapter.
Chapter: 5 Recruitment

Vance ran as fast as his pants would go. He could hear gun shots, the police were right behind him. Vance ran down a dark ally, tipping over anything and everything that could block their path. “Get back here!” They demanded. Vance had to think fast, one false move and he was done for. Then he saw it, a door leading into some unknown building. He ran up to it and tried to open it, but it was locked. Vance pounded on the door, then hid behind some garbage that was in the ally. The cops luckily didn’t see him, but they knew he was still in the ally.

Suddenly, the door opened and a Clakker walked out carrying more garbage. The cops started to question him. Vance immediately ran through the door way and closed it behind him, he was safe again for the moment. He looked at his surroundings. By the looks of it, he was in a kitchen. The employees completely ignored him and kept at work, while Vance headed out the front doors.

Vance thought it was just a restaurant, but after traveling past that section, he found out it was a casino. He continued to walk forward, trying not to attract attention. A bar was pretty empty, so Vance grabbed a seat. The bartender was cleaning a glass and had his back toward Vance and sitting next to him was a Chronicler dressed in a black business suit, which looked a little big on him. “Hey barkeep, can I get a drink.” Vance said in very low voice. “Be with you in a sec.” he replied.

Vance tried to keep his head down, hoping they would not find him in here. Vance suddenly heard a voice. “You look a bit nervous. Hiding from someone?” The voice came from the Chronicler, who sipped on his fancy drink. “No, I’m just waiting here for a friend.” replied Vance with a defensive tone. The Chronicler laughed. “Why so quick to defend yourself? I won’t tell anybody. In fact, I have been looking for you and I would hate see you get hauled away before we had a chance to talk.”

The bartender set a glass on the table. “Wait. You have been looking for me?” replied Vance. “I’ve actually been waiting here for you. I was beginning to think you weren’t going to show.” The Chronicler seemed very familiar, which Vance could have sworn he met him before. Then he heard metallic click And he turned to find that the bartender was a Wovlark cop who had just held a gun to his face. “Tell me Vance. How long did you think you could keep this up? We don’t just let our employees runaway from like this.”
Vance was confused. This Chronicler thinks he works for him now? “Wait! Who are you? And what do you mean employee? I don’t work for you.” Vance replied with panic in his voice.

The Chronicler stood up and adjusted his tie, then turned toward Vance. “Why, don’t you remember me? I am Mr. Bruss, your employer.”

“I don’t work for you.”-Vance

“You do now.”- Mr. Bruss
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  #15  
04-19-2010, 11:19 AM
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Mr.Bruss, i totally forgot about him. loved the bar scene, your writing makes it easier to picture. looking forward to another chapter.
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04-19-2010, 05:54 PM
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Yay! More story. Good story. Doesn't everybody love bar scenes?
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04-21-2010, 05:47 PM
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Chapter 6: Khain took cover behind one of the crashed choopers’, giving cover fire while his wounded comrades joined him. Khain tossed a smoke grenade to give everyone cover while they made their way to the depots. There was about three or four who could fight, but they low on ammo and moral. Khain tried to draw as much fire as he could without getting shot himself. They arrived at a huge trench occupied with it least a fifty other Velon mercs, not including themselves.

Khain ran through the trench with the others, while battle raged between the Velon and Kazar troops. The sounds a battle ringed in Khain’s skull, making it hard for him to maneuver properly. The aftershock of the bombs would occasionally force Khain to the ground, but he recovered quickly.

Khain finally made it to the small district of depots. The battle worn troops that followed him were assisted by the medics, who had use of a depot using it as temporary hospital.
Khain could see many other troops heading into what looks like the HQ of their force.
He followed them in hopes of finding the force commander in charge.

When he entered, he scanned the depot for anyone who looked like the commander. They had supplies being loaded into the depot, while what was already their was being loaded out or used as a table. Khain took the moment of opportunity to restock on supplies, while he searched for who was in charge.

Finally, he found a bunch Wovlarks and Outlaws surrounding a bunch of crates. Khain approached them and saw an entire map of the facility laid out on the crates.
One of the Wovlarks looked very familiar and not in a good way. He wore a bullet proof vest and had a white cowboy hat on. The Wovlark noticed Khain staring and responded in a hostile voice. “Who the hell are you? I thought I told you Sligs to get out their and hold them back.” Khain hesitated, then gave a salute before he replied. “I am private Khain. My chopper was shot down and I lost contact with my squad.”

The Wovlark let out a loud laugh. Khain realized who he was, then dropped his salute in anger. It was the Warden from the Magog prison. He was the force commander.
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  #18  
04-22-2010, 03:26 PM
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Story update! Action! Little surprise about the base commander.
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  #19  
04-23-2010, 06:09 AM
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its all coming together, now. once again, i didn't expect that.
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