Dirty Fighting - Boxing Fanfic

[AlexFili]

This is my new fanfic about the Slig boxing community. The main character is a female Slig called Yael. You can find out a bit about her here;
http://alexfili.deviantart.com/art/Y...Slig-135260097

I hope you enjoy this story, it was inspired by both Wario-Girl's fanfics and also the Rocky films.

Note: May contain boxing
Rating: 12A/Teen

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Dirty Fighting

Prologue
Denno’s boxing gym was situated in the Shades district. The district was part of the town of Fallsville. Fallsville had many different sections. To the north side was Toltek, an industrial park where many factories stood. To the east was the entertainment district of Hapton, where you could find bars and cinemas. To the south lay the Habben region. There were a large number of residential areas for everyone who didn’t live in the factories. Half of these were Mudokon dwellings and the other half were comprised of the Clakkers and Outlaws. To the west was the Shades district. There were a large amount of privately owned buildings in this part of the city. Denno’s boxing gym was ten minutes away from the city stadium, “The Light Trip”.

Yael became a boxer because she felt that she needed to build up her body to protect herself when she was young. She became a very strong female boxer for her age and was spotted by Denno, an Outlaw. Denno recruited her to his boxing gym and improved her strength significantly. Shortly afterwards Denno looked around for more suitable Sligs. Since little Saffy was quite fond of Yael, she was asked to come along as a kind of mascot / companion.

Malaki was becoming quite a strong street brawler. Denno found him and asked him to join his gym. Denno’s gym comprises of a wide variety of different creatures and races. His two prize students are Casey and Carey, two massive Big Bro Sligs who are at the top of their Big Bro boxing league. With their help, they trained Yael to get her where she is now.

Yael’s first ranked boxing fight will happen very soon.

Chapter 1

Malaki was sweating profusely. His mask felt tight under his face and his arms felt heavy. It was only the second round but he was getting his butt kicked by someone younger. This was his last chance at being a professional boxer. He fiercely fought back during that round, trying to get back an advantage. It worked for a while, but then he was forced back by his opponent. This other fighter was good; So much style, so much grace.

Malaki was hit squarely in the face by a particularly nasty jab. He fell to the ground. As Denno counted to ten, Malaki felt his muscles give up. He tried to move but his body couldn't lift itself off the ground.

Denno yelled "Ten!", and the bell was sounded by Saffy. Malaki looked upwards at his opponent and smiled, "You're not bad". His opponent smiled, "You're not so bad yourself, hot stuff!". She grabbed the rope of the training ring and went through to the other side. Malaki smiled, "She may be cocky... but she's good".

Yael gave Malaki one last wink, before Malaki passed out.

Chapter 2
Yael was brushing her mid-length hair. Denno stepped into her room, "You did well. Malaki didn't know what was coming". Yael smiled, "I agree. Your training methods are unorthodox... but they do work".

Denno nodded, "True, but only a prodigy could learn how to box in such a short time... Not to mention your ability to take down a Big Bro with ease". Yael smiled, "It's thanks to your boys Casey and Carey that I managed to learn how to fight in time, those guys are great sparring partners".

Malaki walked into the room, "Hope I'm not disturbing anything". Yael chuckled, "Naw, good match today". Malaki shrugged, "No, I really sucked. I'll make it up to you somehow". Yael laughed, "Training session tomorrow, you interested?". Malaki nodded, "Okay then, see you tomorrow". Denno smiled, "Night Yael". Yael smiled, "Night boss".

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Note: The picture attached here was drawn by Wario-Girl. Please feel free to check out her fantastic fanfics and look at her artwork!

http://wario-girl.deviantart.com/

[Oddey]

AlexFili... So close to our world, and yet so far. It's a lot like you to come up with these ideas. I'm all ears for this one. Or rather all eyes.

[Slig75]

This is very interesting and very good

[AlexFili]

I'm so happy that I've finally started writing some good stories. It's a shame that Armament didn't really work out that well... but at least I established some decent characters. I really want to end the Armament series on a gigantic bang so that it'll be remembered. I'm itching to write another Pack story as well and possibly a Prison sequel. I'm currently working on a sandbox prison game but I'm not sure how that'll work out.

My Oddworld Party game is in it's BETA stage right now. Hopefully I can get some more opinions on things before the final polish-up. This is a brand new fanfic that I started quite recently, so hopefully it'll contain all of my improved writing skills!

Thanks Oddey and Slig75. I know it means a lot to recieve comments about your work, I want to catch up to your stories as soon as possible, I've had to wait to find the right time to check them out. I'm hoping that I'll get at least one comment per additional chapter. I'm really looking forward to making this work.

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Chapter 3
Yael was prepping herself for bed. She'd just listened to another audio-book on her media player. Saffy popped her head through the gap in the doorway, "Hiya Yael. Not sleeping?". Yael smiled, "Not quite yet. You?". Saffy sighed, "I woke up late, so I'm still full of energy".

Saffy came over to Yael and sat down on the other side of the bed, "What do you think of Malaki?". Yael smiled, "Poor stance, awful punches and an uppercut so obvious that it would be cruel to counter it". Saffy waved her arms, "Not that way, I meant like... as a person?". Yael looked at Saffy, "To be honest. I'm not really interested in him". Saffy opened her eyes widely, "Seriously? But he's hot! You should go on a date!". Yael shook her head, "Nope. Not going to happen. I'm not going out with someone who can't even defend themselves properly. Besides, I have a busy training schedule". Saffy nodded, "I guess so".

Saffy and Yael talked for a while longer. Yael then fell asleep and Saffy left the room silently. Saffy walked past Denno asleep in his rocking chair, she went to her own bed.

Chapter 4
It was a few days later. Denno approached Yael, "Listen, your first real opponent is coming up. He's ranked #10, Kanbok". Yael smiled, "Whoever they are, they're in for a world of pain". Denno smiled, "I wouldn't doubt that. Now, for training. Are you waiting for Malaki?". Yael nodded, "I'll just start on the punching bag while I wait". Denno nodded, "Okay, I'll go and train some of the other recruits today". Yael smiled, "Thanks".

Yael started on her low punches, before moving onto some uppercuts. She then decided to swing some high jabs in, to improve her strength. This was some pretty hard work, but she kept to her training regime.

Malaki walked into the gym. He caught Yael's eye, "Hi Yael, sorry I'm late". Yael giggled, "No problem Mal, just get changed and come and train with me". Malaki nodded, "Okay". Malaki wrapped the white bandages around his fists, before reaching for his black boxing gloves.

Yael gave herself some time to breathe, before Malaki was ready to fight. 'This was going to be fun', she thought.

[Oddey]

Yael can play tough all she wants, she'll find somebody, and I have an odd feeling she'll have to beat him.

[AlexFili]

She's a pretty fiesty girl. Even I don't know who she'll end up with. Perhaps someone like her? or maybe even someone completely different? Malaki and Yael are more like friendly sparring partners and will probably stay that way.

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Chapter 5
Malaki stepped into the ring, "So... this Kanbok dude, is he good?". Yael shook her head, "He's a bit of a wimp really. I watched him win his last fight by judges’ decision. To be honest his best skill was being able to stay the distance. Not many Sligs with his strength can last 15 full rounds".

Malaki chuckled, "Your cocky attitude will be your downfall Yael!". Yael gasped and had a shocked expression on her face, "Oh! Like you're one to talk! You couldn't beat me yesterday and you never will!". Malaki laughed, "We'll see about that". Yael stepped into the ring.

Yael waited, "What are you waiting for Mal?". Malaki smiled, "The bell of course!". Yael looked around to see that Saffy wasn't here, she must be still asleep. Yael grinned, "Okay then". She placed her hand in the air, as if she was about to ring an imaginary bell. "Ding-Ding, can we start now?". Malaki chuckled, he hadn't had this much fun in a long time. He took a moment to compose himself and then entered his boxing stance.

Chapter 6
Yael moved closer, "Here I come". Malaki raised his hands, ready to block her jabs. Yael swung left, her hand hitting Malaki's left boxing glove. Malaki retaliated by punching her in the gut. Yael was surprised at how strong Malaki's punch was. She stepped back a bit, to catch her breath. She smiled and then moved closer.

She started punching Malaki's gut. Malaki was a bit too slow to react, only blocking the last two hits of her six. Malaki tried to punch Yael's jaw but she quickly ducked and swung her arm towards Malaki's back. Malaki went down on one knee. Malaki climbed back up, his legs slightly buckling under the weight. Yael swiftly moved closer and started attacking again. Malaki dodged some of the hits this time and landed some of his own. He tried a strong swiping punch to his left, but Yael noticed this. She ducked and gave him a hardy uppercut to the jaw. Malaki fell backwards and lay on his back for a few seconds afterwards.

Malaki was amazed at how strong Yael was. She had to be the strongest female Slig he knew, not to mention the strongest female boxer he had ever set eyes on. Yael giggled, "Let's take a break for now". Malaki nodded, "Okay". Malaki didn't want to say it, but he was well and truly beaten in every single way. 'I've got to keep going', he thought to himself, 'What kind of Slig am I if I give up this easily?'.

[T-nex]

Um... So is this gonna be about oddworld? or a romance fiction, where sligs have been put in the place of humans? (and please don't make this some dirty, erotica) x_x...

Your writing is ok, But honestly, I don't see the point in you putting 2 chapters(even being so short) in one post. A regular chapter made by oddworld fans would usually be a page in word or more. I suggest merging the chapters.

Also so far the whole story has been about the sligs fighting. Nothing else. There hasn't been an establishment shot(which is important)... And establishment shot is when you show the location to the audience. Where's this boxing community? In a made up city? In the wilderness?
Next... A female slig? This is not 'canon' in the least. First of all, any female slig would be a queen and most likely get killed by Skilliya. You'll have to explain how a female slig ends up in a boxing community. Was she de-fertilized? was she just a freak of nature?

Also, I would really love to see more of oddworld in this fan fic.
I mean.. ask yourself. Would this fic be any different if it was with humans? Or do you just get off on the thought of two sligs fighting each other and then passionatly falling in love.

Sorry if I sound too harsh... But I feel like you need a bit of help here in expanding the story.

[AlexFili]

Harsh? Just a little bit...

This is meant to be Oddworld but with a slight human twist. I often write my Slig stories in this way, because I don't believe that every single Slig is evil. While there is romance and dates in this fanfic, it is not erotica. The phrase 'Dirty Fighting' is a boxing term.

The reason I write short chapters is that I can get more done in a shorter space of time. I'd rather spend a shorter amount of time and get more uploaded. Regardless, in my future fanfics I could merge chapters together, depending on the length.

"Also so far the whole story has been about the sligs fighting. Nothing else."
- Well it is a boxing fanfic. What did you expect? Shoot em up?

I suck at describing buildings and stuff. I'll need to write a little prologue explaining this. Thanks for the reminder.

"This is not 'canon' in the least"
- I never intended it to be canon at all. It's fan fiction after all. I think you'll find that many of my other fanfics are not canon either... but you might have missed them.

The whole female Sligs idea has been done before. The basic idea is that there can be male drones and female drones. According to sources, there is only one queen... Skillya. Personally I don't believe that, if there are so many Sligs. There has to be at least one other queen out there, either in nature or whatever.

Yael went into boxing because she really enjoyed it as a kid.

"do you just get off on the thought of two sligs fighting each other and then passionatly falling in love"
- I find that offensive and irrelevant. For the record, I am not attracted to Sligs in that way. I have never intended for any Sligs in this fanfic to immediately fall in love and start making babies. If I did, I would have put warnings on the first post.

While some of your criticism is good, you have touched on some things which are really insignificant. I don't think I would be wrong in thinking that you don't look at Fan Corner much. Why not read some other people's stories? I can give 5 examples of other people using drone females in their story!

Thanks for the advice. Don't expect me to re-write the entire story though. The story stays as it is.

[T-nex]

Honestly I don't care if you're gonna change your story or not. I knew from the beginning that you wouldn't.

So it's a boxing fic... All Im saying is that it has nothing to do with oddworld... It has to do with normal human relationships and boxing, unless you plan to inegrate this story into oddworld a bit more. So far it has had none of that.
And yea alot of people use femal whatever... But many of them care to explain why they are female. Heck.. I even used to RP with a female mudokon and created a pretty logi background for her which Splat then later expanded upon.
What I'm saying is that it's not logic for a female slig to be able to run around without being detected by security and killed. I'm sorry if I don't pat you on the should like everyone else and say 'good job'. But I actually care about oddworld and the quality of FC.
All I'm trying to do here, is give you a few pointer ón how to improve. If you don't want to improve then fine, don't. But I'm still gonna give my critique.

I'm not trying to bring you down and stomp on your story. Just wanna make you think and maybe see you improve things in the future. Like it would be nice to see some conflict that's oddworld related... or at least bring in some oddworld elements.

I spend more time in FC than you think... I just don't bother to post cos there's not alot that impresses me anymore. But I want to try and bring up the quality a bit.

Also i'm sorry if I offended you. The title really gave me the wrong impression.

[AlexFili]

- Fair enough

-Oddworld is a lot like real-life in many ways. You just have to look at all the subtle references.

-I think the femaled drone explanation should be fine. If you want a more detailed synopsis, check out the other stories about female Sligs. I didn't want to bog down the stories with the what ifs and whys.

-She's not 'running around'. I care about Fan Corner too, which is why I have dedicated a lot of my time to writing fanfiction for the enjoyment of other users. It also brings me joy to write about different characters. You'll notice that in most of my fanfics, I don't refer to Canonical characters. With the exception of Skillya.

- I have taken on board your comments about describing the area and the locales. However I cannot adhere to changes that would not improve the quality of the story. You seem to want a gritty realistic oddworld fanfic. Of this, there are plenty which you can find on any good fanfiction website.

- Many of my other fanfics include more references to Oddworld creatures. I recommend you check those out (If not then I'll host them somewhere).

- Well, you took the time to post here. For that I'm glad that you realise that the Fan Corner is important. I only ask that you give this much attention to some other fanfiction writers, who have much bigger plotholes than me!

- That's understandable. Sorry if it was misleading."

Thanks again for the criticisms and I really do appreciate the advice. I will work on this as much as I can.

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Chapter 7
After the rest, Yael and Malaki started boxing again. They trained for about thirty solid minutes before calling it a day. Yael went to the freezer to take out an ice-pack and applied it to her face. No bruising, she could go out tonight before her big match tomorrow. Malaki was a little bit worse for wear, but nothing too serious. Malaki removed his boxing gloves and placed them on the shelf. He lay down on one of the benches in the shower room.

Yael entered one of the shower compartments and closed the curtains. Yael started talking over the curtains to him, "I really need some Blue Whine, it's been ages since I had a glass!". Malaki smiled, "I'd take you myself but I have another training match tomorrow. Good luck with the fight though, I'll be sure to watch it". Yael giggled, "Thanks again Mal. See you later". She heard Malaki exit the shower room and she continued to wash her hair and under-arms.

Yael was just about ready for her fight tomorrow. She went out that night and had a few last drinks with a very friendly female Big Bro Slig named Sapphire. When she got back, Yael fell into a restful sleep. Yael didn't even have time to think about today or even tomorrow's match, she just drifted off quickly.

Chapter 8
"In the red corner, weighing 135 pounds... Unranked Boxer, Yael!". The crowd cheered as her name was announced. She had plenty of fans (most of them being male Sligs). Yael smiled as she saw a female Big Bro Slig waving, Malaki sitting close by. "In the blue corner, weighing 150 pounds... Ranked Boxer #10, Kanbok". The crowd cheered again, a few of the Sligs were booing.

Yael and Kanbok headed to the center of the ring, the referee stood in the middle. "Okay folks, we want a nice clean match. No low blows, no head-butts and no kicks under any circumstances. Got it?". Yael and Kanbok nodded. Kanbok placed his arms in front of his chest, "Good luck babe". Yael raised an eyebrow, 'Babe?', no one had ever called her that before! Yael smiled, "Sure thing". She swung her hands downwards to clash with his, a typical boxer exchange. "Same to you", she added. She walked over to the ring, where Saffy placed the mouthpiece into Yael's mouth. Kanbok's mouthpiece was also in.

The referee held up his hands, "Begin!". The bell was sounded by the adjudicator. Yael smiled, 'Now the fun begins!'. Malaki was on the edge of his seat. This would be a night to remember.

[Oddey]

How come nobody criticizes me? Lucky Alex.

I'm going to leave it at that, because I haven't a lot to say.

[AlexFili]

Yeah, I'd like T-nex to a bit more scouting. If you could check up on some of my mates here; Oddey, Slig 75... and anyone else that I know. Give them some critisism. Without any offense meant, they need more help than me!

[mr.odd]

what are you saying alex, my stories suck or something?

[AlexFili]

Of course not, how could you even think that .
You know me better than that right?

Besides, not mentioning you is actually a good thing, since your stories are obviously fine as they are! Tales of a mudos mercenary is a great story. I didn't mean to cause offense.

To anyone I have ever complimented, that compliment still stands. I respect all oddworld authors, especially ones who have been kind enough to comment on my work. In Mullocks Assistant's case, he inspired me to write in the first place

[T-nex]

what are you saying alex, my stories suck or something?

Don't worry. What I think he meant, was that you guys would be more open to criticism. Although I do think he was in need of a few pointers...

Also Alex, you make the assumption again that I wasn't scouting Just cos I don't post alot doesn't mean I don't check this area. Also please take note that I've been gone for 2 months. I only post in a topic if I really like it, or if I have something to say about it.

[AlexFili]

In that case I should be really honoured. Thank you.

= * = * =

Chapter 9
Yael made the first move. She moved towards Kanbok and hit him with a left jab to the chest. Kanbok didn't retaliate yet, the blow was too quick. Yael proceeded to lay onto him, with a series of jabs and a right hook. Kanbok fell back to the ropes. He picked himself up and walked to Yael. He swung his right arm, which collided with Yael's left shoulder.

Yael let out a groan but swung her left arm to hit Kanbok in the jaw. Kanbok fell to the floor, but got up quickly. Kanbok was about to approach Yael, but the bell rang.

Kanbok and Yael went back to their corners. Saffy passed Yael a little water bottle. Yael smiled, "Thanks". Saffy looked concerned, "Are you okay Yael?". Yael nodded, "I don't plan on losing this one. I'll let you know what my strategy is".

Chapter 10
Yael continued, "Kanbok isn't wearing out as quickly as me. He plans to last the whole fifteen rounds. I can't let him do that, I need to strike hard and fast". Saffy nodded, "Sounds good to me. Go for it girl!". Saffy placed Yael's mouthpiece back in and Yael stood up.

The second round started. True to form, Yael went up to Kanbok and gave him a nasty uppercut. She threw a flurry of punches before sending a nasty right hook flying to Kanbok's chin. Kanbok fell to the floor. Kanbok got up a few seconds later, before Yael send him hitting the floor again. Kanbok could only take one more flooring before he would automatically lose due to Technical Knockout.

Kanbok got up, he had to try and stay on his feet as much as possible. Yael was ready, she walked to Kanbok and started her attack. She threw some low punches first, before throwing some high jabs. Kanbok couldn't take much more of this. Yael threw a left hook, Kanbok was finding it hard to stand up, Yael finally threw a right hook and Kanbok hit the ground.

"Yael wins by technical knockout!". As the referee finished his sentence, the crowd cheered. Saffy walked up to Yael and hugged her. Yael looked down and smiled.

[Slig75]

Your fanfic is as good as ever
Good job

[Oddey]

I find it strange how you theme your stories. Everything seems to build on to oddworld, rather than co-exist with it. But new ideas can usually be treated as progress.

[AlexFili]

Thank you. Most of my inspiration comes from real-life and films.

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Chapter 11
Yael entered the gym and headed for the shower room. She really wanted a cold shower to get rid of all the nasty sweat that she'd built up during the match. She took off her facemask and walked into the shower room. She turned the cold water taps and imagined that she was under an icy waterfall. She smiled as the cold water soothed her aching muscles and sore arms. She sighed and let out a blissful yawn. After a few minutes she turned off the taps, picked up a towel and started drying herself with it.

She opened the door and saw that no-one else was in the gym. She headed to her room and closed the door. She sat down on the bed, wrapping the covers around her. She fell into a deep sleep.

Yael was now #10 in the ranked boxing league. That means she was one step closer to the #1 spot. She'd have to train hard in order to prepare for the next battle. Not only that, but as part of the league, it was her duty to defend her title from anyone else. Including the inevitable Kanbok rematch.

Chapter 12
Yael woke up with a yawn. She picked up her favorite facial cream and rubbed some into her tentacles and cheeks. She opened the wardrobe and picked out a loose outfit. She closed the wardrobe and made her way out of her room. She opened the door. She looked over the corner to see Malaki training on a punching bag.

"Yo Malaki", she walked up to join him. Malaki smiled, "Hi Yael. Good fight yesterday". Yael sighed, "If you say so. Those are some strong punches by the way. Mind if I stay with you for a bit?". Malaki chuckled, "No problem". They trained for a while, both of them having their own punching bag. Saffy walked into the gym and rang the bell. "Dinnertime!", she yelled. Yael sighed, "That's good". She walked into the food area and picked up a Scrab sandwich. Malaki picked up a box of Paramite nuggets. They sat down at a table and started eating.

Yael watched as a few people walked up to Yael and congratulated her for her victory. "It was nothing", she said... as she tucked into her sandwich. After the meal, she got up and left with Malaki. This time she went to the speed bags. Malaki followed her.

[Slig75]

Nice

[AlexFili]

I'm putting this on hold for a little while.
Thanks for all the comments and I hope to pick this up again sometime in the future

[Slig75]

Ok
I look foward to seeing you in action with this again