Geek Humour

[Hobo]

MOD EDIT: Split off from this thread here. Feel free to share your favourite geeky humour. But no xkcd please; try a little harder than that.

invalid operands of types `const char[10]' and `const char[11]' to binary `operator/'

public class smoke{
String tryingtoquit;

public String agequit(int age){


if(age<=18){
tryingtoquit = "attention/rebel-cred";}
else{
tryingtoquit = "Sensible Idea";
}
return tryingtoquit;
}
}

Java, obv

[joshkrz]

onClipEvent(enterTeenageYears){
stress = true;
money = false;

if (stress == true){
if (money == true){
_life.smoking.gotoAndPlay(Cigarettes);}
else{
_life.smoking.gotoAndPlay(Roll-ups) || _life.smoking.stop();
}
else
{
_life.smoking.stop() || _life.smoking.gotoAndPlay(less);
}
}

That's my way with smoking, in ActionScript 2.

[MA]

puffpuff = cough;
flickash = hoover;

burningember + settee = nohouse
_no.smoking = money+

i haven't got a bloody clue.

[Nate]

public class smoke{
String tryingtoquit;

public String agequit(int age){


if(age<=18){
tryingtoquit = "attention/rebel-cred";}
else{
tryingtoquit = "Sensible Idea";
}
return tryingtoquit;
}
}

VVVV

public class smoke{

String tryingtoquit;

public String agequit(int age){

if(age<=18){

tryingtoquit = "attention/rebel-cred";}

else{

tryingtoquit = "Sensible Idea";

}
return tryingtoquit;

}

}

OR VVVV

public class smoke{
	String tryingtoquit;

	public String agequit(int age){

	
	if(age<=18){
		tryingtoquit = "attention/rebel-cred";}
	else{
		tryingtoquit = "Sensible Idea";
	}
	return tryingtoquit;
	}
}

INDENT FAIL!

[AlienMagi]

I am confused...

[Nate]

I am teaching Hobo how to format Java code so that it displays properly in vBulletin.

Of course, there's also the fact that he failed at indenting the for/else code even before vBulletin stripped out the other tabs.

[Wil]

It's hardly Python.

[Bullet Magnet]

I wish anyone had elected to teach me basic programming in IT class rather than the useless now-defunct shit they taught me instead.

[MeechMunchie]

if life=shit true

string roll_joint
if no.ofjointshadbefore<1
ERROR ERROR ERROR

++Reinstall sanity and reboot++

[Xavier]

if life=shit true

My geeky head just exploded...

[Wil]

I never had any IT classes or training beyond middle school, and even then the only thing we were ever taught was typing. And even then it was only practice, we were never actually taught. Now I can use four keyboard layouts, build websites, and edit my computers' configuration files.

Quite how good I am at any of these things is hugely debatable. If I had more self-discipline I would love to be much better, but I never wrapped my head around object-oriented programming, and that's been the main hurdle in my computer literacy. Just as music theory was the main hurdle in my music performing qualifications.

[Hobo]

I am teaching Hobo how to format Java code so that it displays properly in vBulletin.

Of course, there's also the fact that he failed at indenting the for/else code even before vBulletin stripped out the other tabs.

It was formatted, sadly when i copied it over from eclipse, all the indents died.

Also; I will never ever post code and give a fuck about it on vBulletin again. So there we go.

[Nate]

I saw the following on a t-shirt today. Probably says a lot about the university I work at.

$DO || ! $DO ; try
try: command not found

[Leto]

oh sweet lord.

[Nate]

Hurrah, new thread! But as I say in the first post, no xkcd. Partly because it's too easy to make Randall Munroe do all the hard work for you but mainly because I've seen them all already.

There are 10 types of people in the world. 
Those who understand binary and those who don't.

And the terrible thing is that I initially wrote '2' because that's the way it was stored in my memory. I think my brain might be a digital system.

[Laser]

I have 2 snorgtee t shirts.

Am I geeky enough to use these 'jokes'?

[Munch's Master]

I don't understand most of this thread but I got the binary joke, ashamed to say. I have a friend who is about 80% geek and he knows binary amongst many other similarly geeky things.

[used:)]

What do you call a bunch of violists at the bottom on the ocean?

A start.

/kills self

[MeechMunchie]

BOOM! HEADSHOT!

[OddjobAbe]

[Bullet Magnet]

I don't understand most of this thread but I got the binary joke, ashamed to say. I have a friend who is about 80% geek and he knows binary amongst many other similarly geeky things.

Why would you be ashamed to understand binary?

[Hobo]

Hurrah, new thread! But as I say in the first post, no xkcd. Partly because it's too easy to make Randall Munroe do all the hard work for you but mainly because I've seen them all already.

There are 10 types of people in the world. 
Those who understand binary and those who don't.

And the terrible thing is that I initially wrote '2' because that's the way it was stored in my memory. I think my brain might be a digital system.

I fucking hate this joke for the amount of people who say "There are ten types of people in the world" Even my friend with a maths degree from Imperial College London

Your other joke however is classic.

[used:)]

Yay, I know enough binary to have understood that joke!

[Wil]

Don't hate the joke just because there are people who deliver it through the wrong medium.

[OANST]

I think that you only need to know that binary exists to get that joke.

[Munch's Master]

Why would you be ashamed to understand binary?

Its the not the understanding binary but the laughing at binary-based humour that made me cringe a bit.

[Bullet Magnet]

Depends on the joke.

0101000100111010001000000100010001101001011011100110010101110010001110100010000001000100011011110010 0000011110010110111101110101001000000111001101100101011100100111011001100101001000000110001101101000 0110100101100011011010110110010101101110001000000110100001100101011100100110010100111111000010100100 0001001110100010000001010111011000010110100101110100011001010111001000111010001000000101001101101001 0111010000100000011001000110111101110111011011100010110000100000011100110110100101110010001011100010 0000010101110110010100100000011100110110010101110010011101100110010100100000011000010110111001111001 01101111011011100110010100101110

Groan.

[Laser]

Depends on the joke.

0101000100111010001000000100010001101001011011100110010101110010001110100010000001000100011011110010 0000011110010110111101110101001000000111001101100101011100100111011001100101001000000110001101101000 0110100101100011011010110110010101101110001000000110100001100101011100100110010100111111000010100100 0001001110100010000001010111011000010110100101110100011001010111001000111010001000000101001101101001 0111010000100000011001000110111101110111011011100010110000100000011100110110100101110010001011100010 0000010101110110010100100000011100110110010101110010011101100110010100100000011000010110111001111001 01101111011011100110010100101110

Groan.

Q: Diner: Do you serve chicken here?
A: Waiter: Sit down, sir. We serve anyone.

If I didn't have some kind of weird respect for you over the internet, I would neg rep you for making me waste my time

[Wil]

The particularly sad thing is that, if I had the time and patience, I could decode that manually. The not-sad bit is that I wouldn't dream of sitting down and doing it.

[Havoc]

Revenge of the Nerds up in here or what?