I'd like an opinion on this. Please, it won't take more than 2 Minutes and 20 Seconds

OddjobAbe · #1 08-12-2008, 02:20 AM

It's my 21 year-old nephew's wedding soon (he isn't the one with the chainsaw, that one's a lot younger), and he came to me asking me to record a fun, bouncy tune for the ceremony.

Now, the first that came to mind was the Super Mario Bros. 2 theme (sounds daft, I know), seeing as though he didn't necessarily want an original composition.

Anyway, I wanted an opinion on the recording. I don't want to show it to the lad just yet (he told me not to show him it until we were in the ceremony), and so I didn't want to show it to any of the family (he's a sentimental nut - if he found at that he and his girlfriend hadn't heard it first, he'd go crazy).

So here it is, what could be considered the 'demo' recording:
http://www.mediafire.com/?y3pktyofftz

Anyway, it may sound a bit dull at first, but at around the 50 second point, it really picks up.

And if you took your time to listen and give feedback, thank you. You're being a real help to both me and my nephew.

***Nate*** · #2 08-12-2008, 02:47 AM

Download the theme to the movie The Taking of Pelham 1,2,3. It's the first thing that popped in to my head when I read the words 'fun' and 'bouncy'.

Also breasts.

OddjobAbe · #3 08-12-2008, 02:52 AM

That was awesome. I mean both the Taking of Pelham 1,2,3 film AND the breasts.

Oddey · #4 08-12-2008, 03:00 AM

The first fifty seconds to me is considered bouncy. Everything after is definately fun and bouncy.

I say go for it.

OddjobAbe · #5 08-12-2008, 03:03 AM

Thank you, dear fellow. I do apologise for the atrocious percussion, however. I think that's one thing that needs cleaning up a little.

Carnix · #6 08-12-2008, 03:15 AM

Oh odd! You plan on using a Mario theme for a wedding! Ooh this is tooo good! <(said like Stewie)

Seriously though, you've confused me with this. My entire generalisation of weddings just went strait out the window, through someone else's window and down their drain.

OddjobAbe · #7 08-12-2008, 03:20 AM

A lot of you may be aware, we can be considered quite a strange family.

I'm sorry for confusing you, Carnix. Though both my nephew and his girlfriend (and myself, I admit) absolutely hate the usual little jingle that is played on the organ while people go down the isle, so we're going to plug in a CD palyer and play that. Nice little change, no?

Carnix · #8 08-12-2008, 03:29 AM

:

I'm sorry for confusing you, Carnix.

It's easily done

And I understand that part. Both of the weddings I bothered to attend did the same thing and substituted the organ for a cd player but they played respectable wedding-suitable stuff (love songs and such).
The bit that confused me was that you'd chosen a game theme. And worse then that, you chose mario. Sure if it's what your nephew asked for it's all good it just seems a little sureal...

OddjobAbe · #9 08-12-2008, 03:33 AM

You know, I can see that crazy little guy doing a rythmatic jig up the isle with his girlfriend giving him a 'What the Hell are you doing?' look.

But, yes. I thought It'd be nice to choose a song that most should hopefully recognise, and that is damn catchy.

It does all seem very strange, but I don't like to label video game music as... well, video game music. Even though it's in a game it has it's own genre, and if it sounds good I'll use it. And the funny thing is, Jeff (nephew) cannot stand love songs. He says that "most of them sicken me because I think that there are better, more exciting things to write about, and if they MUST write about love, they should be more imaginitive with the lyrics".
I aggree with a lot of what he's saying. I have to admit, The Kinks did a few good ones - 'Lola' was a good one AND a funny one.

But as I say, it might just be me that's gone a little loopy.

Killy · #10 08-12-2008, 05:28 AM

You can definitely go with this but there's plenty of room for improvement. I understand it's a demo recording, but you'd do best to change some of the instruments, especially the percussion, which needs to be timed better. It's really out of beat on some spots, and doesn't really go well with the other instruments, I think it's too heavy. I like the beginning though, especially the guitar(?).

Keep up the work and good luck.

OddjobAbe · #11 08-12-2008, 05:41 AM

You know, there's an interesting story about the percussion (then again, I guess it's not that interesting, but what the Hell).
I was originally going to use a jazz drumkit for this, but I thought I'd test out my brothers' rock drumkit before I gave it to him (bought him it as a gift). And you're damn right, it does sound far too heavy for the piece. And I'm not that good of a percussionist, so that's definiately why it's off beat on some spots.

Unfortunately, I'll have to find a decent percussionist very fast, because I've damaged my left wrist, so I don't even have time to improve. That's the reason why you're hearing the original NES percussion channel in the beginning - I recorded the second part first, which was before I buggered up my wrist.

I'm also thinking of recording in a smaller room to get more of a dry sound. In the church, there'll be a bit of an echo, and as there's a bit of an echo in the room that I'm recording in, it'll barely be heard in the church.

Anyway, thank you, Killy. I apologise for the long-winded post.

And everyone, please, I need more people to look at this. I need more criticism. I need this to be near-perfect.

Carnix · #12 08-12-2008, 06:12 AM

:

I need more criticism

Haha
Hahaha
A-hahahaha
Mwahahahahahahaha!
...
And now I've forgotten why I'm laughing...
(know what's scary - my laugh does actually sound a lot like that)

Well, now for some productive criticism...

Damn I ain't got any...

Well, I'll say this; I much prefer the original theme to the one u recorded but ahh well. Also, as Killy pointed out, the percussion is seriously off. It's out of time and don't really sound relevant to the piece.
Having said that Killy deserves rep.

OddjobAbe · #13 08-12-2008, 06:13 AM

And Killy gets rep.

Laser · #14 08-12-2008, 07:31 AM

Don't get much bouncier than that

Oddey · #15 08-12-2008, 09:58 AM

After listening a second time very closey I have come to this opinion on the precussion:

I don't know what sound the precussion is supposed to be... So in my opinion it sounds fine. Of course I've never seen or heard the Mario Bros. 2 game.

Mac Sirloin · #16 08-12-2008, 10:15 AM

The Curb your enthusiasm theme?

Edit: This sounds really good, Oddjob, but I thought something with a bit more 'Oompah' would work just as well, if not better.

OddjobAbe · #17 08-12-2008, 12:25 PM

I am actually thinking of recording some different tunes so I can see which will be best, so I will happilly take on everyone's advice.

Carnix · #18 08-13-2008, 02:48 AM

:

I will happilly take on everyone's advice.

Take a shower and get a hair-cut.

***Nate*** · #19 08-13-2008, 03:14 AM

:

The Curb your enthusiasm theme?

A radio show back here in Australia used to use that theme to represent times when people put their foot in their mouths and do something extremely stupid and embarrasing. Your judgement call on whether that would be right for a wedding ceremony.

Hobo · #20 08-13-2008, 03:31 AM

It's not a theme strictly, it's library music and is freely available for anyone to use without royalties.

Or something like that.

alf's brother's mate · #21 08-13-2008, 04:25 AM

Yes hobo i think it is.

I really hope it all goes well OddjobAbe, and after hearing your music, i am hoping for your nephew that things go just as well as your little composition went, because i thought it was great.

ABM

Mac Sirloin · #22 08-13-2008, 08:01 AM

:

A radio show back here in Australia used to use that theme to represent times when people put their foot in their mouths and do something extremely stupid and embarrasing. Your judgement call on whether that would be right for a wedding ceremony.

You are damn fucking right I think it would be.