The life of a Slig
Hi all, this is the first part of my attempt at an odd world story, while also attempting to be funny. It follows the path of a strange slig named Stig while Abe was traveling htrough Rupture farms. Its breif but as i say only a first draft, any comments welcome thanks.
"Everyone has a hard time in the world. Theres not a minute of the day where your not tyring to avoid being: eaten and beaten and those are just the nice things that can happen to ya. But everyon keeps moaning about the Mudokons but their not the only ones hat have a hard time yu know. Just give a little thought to us sligs were not all that bad. My name is stig and ive been a gwuard for twen years and its not an weasy life even when your as good lookin as me yer here what im saying, the pays wack and what they make wus do is twerible, yeah swure ive beaten up mudokns every day for the last seven years for no reason at all hours on end wover and wover again BUT THEY DESWEVERED IT THEY WHERE LOOKING AT ME FWUNNY, sorry i shouted i just get emotional at twimes its a wvery high pwesuured job constantly being pushed round by stupid Glukkons saying get over here, and do it DO IT! i dint wanna shoot them but they made me! hea he he it was fun twhough,luckily i only shot the Glukkon in the leg or i would have been dweep fried, anyway you be wondering why the hell im talking to a camera and no its not because ive finally gone mentwal because of the sound of gun shots no, i went to the shirnk doctor i been fweeling low recently i just dont get the kick out of beating the slumps up anymore so he told me to make a vwideo dwiary thing is if they think im wack there gonna kwick me out but that aint gonna happen because they know how good i am they know this place would fwall awpart without stig the slig, ive got to make me a cathphrase ermm stig the slig ....the boneafied... PWIGG no that dont work"
"SLIG YA BUM GET OUT HERE YOUR SHIFT STARTED"
"See they love me dwown here"
The two sligs marched silently down the production lines of rupture farms, loking down at the countless number of Mudokons who worked their.
"you heard about that abe guy? hes letting out all the chumps if he carries on where gonna be out of work they say theres a reward out for the one who gets umm"
Slig stood their looking at the floor his head hurt badly as he tried to think.
"Hey if i catch that abe guy and twake him to the boss, thell forgoet all about me being cwazy"
"what? what you talking about?"
Stig turned his back on the slig and began to laugh quietly to himself.
"I thought you was a bum stig but i was wrong your wack"
Stig slowly turned and looked over his back towards the slig who looked confused and slightly afraid.
"DID YOU LOOK AT ME FWUNNY? GWET UMM"
Stig fliped around suddenly and fired upon the slig, its body explodingin every direction leaving its mechanical legs walking towards the the way they came. Stig ran away laughing manically firing his rifle up in the air. In the corner a small surveilance camera had recorded stiggs every move, and had sent the data to the skrinks computer. The shrink played back the data.
"hmm yep that slig is defenatley wack but i think he might be useful he might even get rid of that Abe guy and even if he doesnt do that i think the Glukkons could make good use of him"
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