The Space Jockeys were an ancient race of starfarers known to themselves as the Desua'l-thinu//oc, which translates roughly as "Space Jockey". They were larger than modern humans, and wore a chronic expression of wistful melancholy.
They discovered the miracle of interstellar travel millions of years ago, shortly before the peak of their civilisation, which culminated with the invention of the self-recycling beer can. No longer having to march to the bin to dispose of their cans, alcohol consumption rose 638%, leading to much drunk-jockeying. One such drunken pilot was that of the Nihifa'gr-panthic, or the "Mysterious Derelict Ship" in English.
It had been transporting a small cargo salvaged from a dead colony. Contact had with the inhabitants been lost after the self-recycling beer can technology had been brought there, and many assumed that the lack of communiques was due to the drunken stupor being experienced by the rest of their race. This was not the case.
A mysterious epidemic had swept throughout the small society, initiated by the discovery of an ancient, decayed ship in the nearby mountains. The colony bore evidence of terrible battles, and only a single life-sign could be found. A small, ovoid organic structure fused to a hull. It was being brought back to a more established colony populated by drunken scientists, but it never made it there.
Pissed as usual, the captain accidentally crashed into a planet along the way. A few ensigns were sent to check the damage, hoping the dent could be buffed out in time for the wet T-shirt party back home, but this was not to be. The cargo was discovered to be damaged, and further investigation revealed that:
"Yer... yeah... it sheems to be... er... hmm. I really love you, man, leshhh go ge' anudder drink."
As the crew began to disappear one by one, the last remaining Jockey, the pilot, discovered the hold filled with a sea of sticky lumps. Unsure of what to do, he returned to his chair, cracked open a cold one, and watched an interesting looking spider in the corner become progressively prettier with every sip...
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Last edited by Bullet Magnet; 11-19-2006 at 06:26 PM..
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