Heartbreak

[Slig_Cake]

How do you guys deal with it when you've been burned by someone you really loved?

I know it might seem hypocritical of things I was saying in the past, but my ex broke up with me last week. I normally wouldn't care because I can do well for myself, but she was just so special to me. And I keep thinking I did things wrong, but her friend just said , 'she thinks you're an awesome guy and she still likes you, but the feelings wern't as strong as her ex and she's got small feelings for someone else'.

And normally I'd be like wtf, but now I know what feelings are about, and there's a fine line between liking someone and loving them. I tried talking to her, I was stone cold begging for her to give me another chance, but it wasn't about that.

It's been only a week, but every minute every day I'm thinking about her, even when I'm pre occupied she's there in the back of my mind. And I didn't even realise what I had at the time I was with her. I could still love her just as much over anyone if she put on 100 kilos. There was nothing about her looks that I was attracted to, just her.

And dont mistake this for an 'emo' or 'suicidial' thread, I just want to get some thoughts on how others deal with that shit. I havn't been crying about it, but nothing gets me over her, when I went to a club and tried to have fun, got with a random even. But all my thoughts were still on her.

[used:)]

If she was willing to dump in pursuit of other men, then she wasn't meant to be with you. Just shake off the dust and move on. That's really the only thing you can do.

Don't try and get back with her and don't linger in this state of loss. That's probably the worst thing you can do.

[AquaticAmbi]

Although I have to admit something inside me wants to laugh and say "That's karma and what you get for being a sexist, misogynist little pig boy," you're clearly showing real emotions for once and I feel bad for you.

I wouldn't say give up completely just yet, because I know I wouldn't in the same situation. She obviously needs some space though. If she does have some feelings for someone else, just let her have some time to make up her mind. Hearts get confused sometimes. If within a few weeks, you get the chance to talk to her and she still feels how she does at this point, then it's time to move on.

And I think you're crazy for saying there's nothing about her looks that you were attracted to. Although looks aren't nearly as important, she was beautiful from what I saw in the picture you posted.

[Slig_Cake]

Lol yeh I know there's nothing I can do to get back with her and I'm not moping about it, it's just there's nothing I can do to stop thinking about her. But yeh I'm about a year older than her, and been through a lot more and that's why I'm still hopeful she'll really see what I see in her, but I'm not sure how likely it is to happen.

And for the record, I'm not sexist. She is cute and very attractive, but to be honest I'm not sure how attractive she is. I look at her differntly to others. While we were going out some of my friends didn't think much and thought I could do better. But I can't do better. She's the most amazing girl I ever met and I'm doubtful that any other girl could match the feelings I had for her.

[Jacob]

Heartbreak's Gay in le face, and probably one of the reasons i've developed my sense of humour as a kind of defence mechanism.

I've always found that if you cut the person from your life...like the Cancer they are...it makes the whole dealio easier.

MSN, phone numbers, messages...everything about that person, delete or hide away. And then just try and forget aboot them.

It's probably harder if you have to go to school with them, in fact, i know it is, but...yeh. You'll be a better person for it.

...and if not, a darker, bitterer person.

Yay for Heartbreak!

[Dusan]

hope you can understan the crap I am about to type...

I tried talking to her, I was stone cold begging for her to give me another chance.

You should NOT do that, trust me. That is making bad impresion on her. The best way is to stay cool. To prove her that you are better than the other guy. If you had something special, then she will realize that. She just need some space, she need to change enviroment where is not everything perfect. She want to risk. But if she doesn't realize that you are'nt beter than the other guy, and if you realy arent better than him, you need to..

....shake off the dust and move on...

[Rich]

On the rather little experience I have on this subject matter I'd advise you to give up and move on.
I didn't do that when Rexy broke up with me, but I got lucky and we've sort of rescued our relationship, fingers crossed it'll continue to go smoothly.

[Mutual Friend]

Dusan needs to do a regular column for this place where he answers each member's personal problems or issues week-after-week.

I'd pay good money to read that. We could call it From Serbia with Love or summat.

Relevant: you're 19 and posting this personal crap on an INTERNET FORUM? I really don't understand the internet. *shakes head... does a tap dance*

[skillya_glowi]

This can be difficult, granted, but it takes a lot more than that to break a heart. She must have been a very special person. People will tell you, (say it with me - cliche) "If she couldn't see the feelings you had for her and what she did by leaving you, she doesn't deserve you", but the truth is, what people think will happen and what really happens are two very different things. It will seem like the end of the world sometimes, but there is nothing else to do but move on. Sometimes, you can dust off the photos, look back, and remember what a good person once found her way into your life, and someday - yes, someday - you will be able to do this without bringing pain back into your heart. That said, I wish you the best.

[Alcar]

I've been through a similar situation recently Slig_cake. I managed to rescue the relationship, but only as friends. It's been difficult, granted, I let my emotions nearly completely screw up other parts of my life. It's hard, but you've got to let go. Someone will come along and you've find love again.

I already have

Alcar...

[sketch]

I've been through the same thing and over a year later I still miss her, your feelings will never go but you can cover them up....

[Dusan]

Dusan needs to do a regular column for this place where he answers each member's personal problems or issues week-after-week.I'd pay good money to read that. We could call it From Serbia with Love or summat.

Agree Liam. It's sad that the guy (me) with such potencial laying whole day in bad and not doing anything.

[Bullet Magnet]

Having never actually taken the first step to heartbrake (or love, for that matter) I can hardly claim to be experienced in this field. However, I have run the simulations, and may now confidently suggest:

Don't mope. Moping is bad. It will take longer to move on if you linger over something that cannot return, and you will lose weeks off your life being depressed and needy.

Don't bottle up your feelings. We are all told that keeping emotions inside is unhealthy, and it is. Cry if you have to. (Not that I'm suggesting Slig_Cake ever cries, more like... punching the wall, all manly and angry like)

It is hard, and it seems like this feeling will last forever, but it won't. You will always remember the relationship and its highs and lows, but it will not hurt forever. Guarantee.

Move on. That is all you can do. But do it in your own time, and if you don't feel ready to start up another relationship, then don't. Getting involved with someone prematurely, on the rebound, or even as "revenge" is not fair on the person you do it with, and will only open up wounds that have not healed yet.


Well, that's my advice. But what do I know? I have the emotional develpment of a gnat.

[Mutual Friend]

Agree Liam. It's sad that the guy (me) with such potencial laying whole day in bad and not doing anything.

I no longer go by my slave name.

[Slig_Cake]

hahaha thanks guys i like some of the smart arse comments it's what i hoped for, another to show you that i do have a human side

Relevant: you're 19 and posting this personal crap on an INTERNET FORUM? I really don't understand the internet. *shakes head... does a tap dance*

screw you mate, i've had more girls than your post count

[used:)]

screw you mate, i've had more girls than your post count

Well then it's no surprise that this girl broke up with you as well. XD

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

[Mutual Friend]

screw you mate, i've had more girls than your post count

Oh, I see. In that case, you're obviously far cooler than I first gave you credit for.

What a guy!

And just so we know where we stand: I have made dirty love with 2 girls, 4 guys, a dog (male), my old video player, at least 7 pairs of socks, and your mum.

[Dusan]

i've had more girls than your post count

I hate persons like you!

Oh, I see. In that case, you're obviously far cooler than I first gave you credit for.

[used:)]

My condolences to Liam's mother for giving birth to him.

[SeaRex]

Christ Almighty. Let's avoid a bitchfest here, folks.

[Jacob]

"I no longer go by my slave name."

OH. MY. GOD!

HAH!

I love that part in the film.

"screw you mate, i've had more girls than your post count"

Rohypnol is a wonderful invention.

[Statikk HDM]

Sounds like a meal bitch to me.
Meal Bitch: Someone, usually female, who is just in the relationship for the perks, especially the food. She'll usually have 2 backups vying/bribing for her love and when she dumps your fool ass she'll say something like "Oh Yeah, Greg?!?! Well at least Horace knows how to treat a lady!"
The phrase "treat a lady" is the mating call of the meal bitch. Also be on the look out for the phrases "provide" and "good time".
Now Slig Cake, you're 19 and you said this meal bitch was special? Idiot. Nobody is special. Find a new slot to slam it in and next time don't be such a whipped pussy. Before entering the dating pool I reccomend listening to N.W.A.'s I Ain't the One. Take it to heart, young poon Jedi, and may the whores be with you!

[Slig_Cake]

You guys don't understand, I've tried goin with other randoms, they just can't do it for me. When I saw my girlfriend I was immediatly infatuated with her. My main problem started when we first hooked up and instead of being cool about it I really pushed a relationship because I just knew she'd be right.
She's not like the other girls, and I could see that. She's not fake, she dosn't like the guys that think they're awesome, and that's the act I put on, it's always been an act but I did desperatly want to be myself around her, but I couldn't because it felt weak.
I've messed up heaps, but I'm still thinking as I think Dusan said, that if we remain friends she'll see what I'm like underneath and like it.
Greatest girl I ever met, she's not a 'meal bitch'. She never wanted a relationship until she actually felt something was there. The reason she's developed feelings for this other guy I believe he acts more like the real person that I am. And that person isn't cocky, man whore, just an honest bloke. That's the thing about Caroline, other girls would see me being better than this guy, she's not like that. And I still know there's something there but she dosn't realise it. I'm a very impatient person, so I have to force myself to wait for it I guess, no matter how old I am.
There's no point in finding another, I've done my fair share. I'm going to become celebit until I get her back. No hooking up, no sex nothing.
I know it might all sound like a load of crap from some love lorn dick, but I'm not one of those people. I know when something is real. Yeh it might sound like infatuation, but unlike other guys I know I can truly be in a relationship with her no matter what. Even if I were to become impotent, even if she got her face messed up or became a spastic.There is nothing superficial about the feelings I have for her.

She's not the only problem I've had in my life, I was doing well for Athletics Australia before I needed a knee reconstruction. I built up so much arrogance from that, but after I turned to stupid things like drugs. There was such an empty feeling back then, and I felt and still feel she could restore that and I could do great things again, but at the moment there's another hole, and again in the 'real world' I have to pretend I'm still as cool as I was.

To give you a clear idea of who I am, Jerome from Gattaca, minus Jude Law's looks would be the most suitable character of who I am and what I've gone through.

[AquaticAmbi]

You know, you'll never be the person she deserves if you don't drop the fake attitude completely, no matter where you are or who you're with. You can't just be one of those guys that shows his "real self," which is nice and whatever, only to his girlfriend. Like most girls, I imagine her friends won't believe that you're capable of having a nice, honest side if they never see it, and they'd discourage her from dating you. Even if you were to show her the real you, if she ever hears about you acting the complete opposite to others, she'll probably doubt your honesty and character. She'll end up thinking that the nice guy is the fake part of you and that your true character is that of an ass. Drop all your acts and just be you; it's much easier for everyone.

[Statikk HDM]

She had a friggin' stable, man. Face it: A meal bitch is a meal bitch is a meal bitch. You said you were infatuated. What I interpret that to mean is that you were thinking with your penis instead of your head. You were so hung up over her you didn't even realize she was playing you for a chump. Then you went begging back to this two timing bitch? Chump 'effin' change, man. Total clown shoes. You're a nice guy but you have problem with women. Namely you trust them. Thats harsh, but the truth is harsh. Okay, so you don't want a bunch of easy women, you want something higher class. Whatever. But stop being played and start thinking with the head above your shoulders otherwise this shit will happen to you again and again and again.

[used:)]

All I can say is that this is a classic case of Pussy Whipped.

Trust me, if you're nieteen years old and met the "love of your life," then you are sure to find other women who are just, or even more, suitable for you.

And don't tell me again that she "unique." Meal bitches always appear like that. They make sure that they are in your head, they make sure that you don't suspect a thing, and they make sure that you will feel like shit after they're through with you. They FOOL you.

Trust me, open up your heart to women more. Seriously, just let go of the walls you have built around yourself. Let women see who you are on the inside, and maybe one will become infatuated with.

[Slig_Cake]

I dont usually defend girls, but in her case I will.

She was always honest with me, I knew she would never tell me a lie. She never did, she always told me she wasn't sure how she felt, because of her ex she couldn't get over from last year, but she said she didn't want me to go either. She did like me, just not enough feelings were there, and I probaly hadn't grown on her enough.

I was her first, and I slept with her a number of times, even when I think she wasn't 100% sure she wanted to.

I was the bad guy. I'm a terrible person, and in the past I've done bad things. While me and caroline were 'friends' i got with her best friend to try and prove something.

And lastly, she's a nerd. All her friends are party bitches and she tags along, but most of the time she studies, works, helps around the house. She is a genuine good girl. If anything i made a very corrupt impact on her life which I'm ashamed of.

Don't get me mixed up with a soft cock. I am no pussy and I know the difference between a girl that likes to **** guys around, and one that's straight up about her feelings.

On another point, she wasn't two timing. She explained she's started having feelings for someone else, and that's why she didn't want to continue it. She said she tried, but it didn't work out.

Used: I don't open up my heart to women, because generally I dont want a relationship. I can't care less if someone falls for me or not.

EDIT: If this is a face you can't trust, than who can you trust (right)

[Jacob]

She looks like the sort to eat you out of house and home.

...but i'm bias, 'cos she has a Vagina and they smell.

Fact.

[Mutual Friend]

She wears too much blusher and has crappy coloured lipstick and THAT'S a fact.

You're better off rid, you tool.

[Statikk HDM]

Man, you're cheating on her, she has "feelings" for somebody else(giving it up), this is a sad, sorry state of affairs. Hopefully you'll be able to parlay this into a bad boy image and still be in the game because that sort of behavior can get you shut out.