Real Life V.S The Internet

Havoc · #1 07-14-2006, 10:12 AM

Okay lets sum it all up here. A nice warm summer day, against life behind the computer.

FIGHT!

1.
Summer’s Day: Around for one season.

Internet: Around all year long.

Winner: The Internet.

2.
Summer’s Day: Lots of pretty girls wearing next to nothing.

Internet: Lots of pretty girls wearing nothing.

Winner: The Internet.

3.
Summer’s Day: You sunburn and develop skin cancer from solar rays.

Internet: Your skin is protected from ultraviolet radiation by your parent’s basement ceiling.

Winner: The Internet.

4.
Summer’s Day: Traditional summer camp counselors scream at you to hike, swim, climb mountains, etc.

Internet: Computer camp counselors calmly teach you how to download free MP3’s, hack into your sister’s blog, “find” credit card numbers, etc.

Winner: The Internet.

5.
Summer’s Day: Outdoor summer jobs such as landscaping, mowing lawns, and painting houses require a great deal of physical exertion.

Internet: Your indoor job of selling virtual items in online multiplayer games for real hard cash requires little or no physical exertion (beyond getting more Frito’s from the kitchen).

Winner: The Internet.

6.
Summer’s Day: Eating food outdoors attracts annoying insects such as ants, bees, and mosquitoes.

Internet: Eating food indoors attracts the attention of your cat “Larry”, who merely stares at the burrito going into your mouth.

Winner: The Internet.

7.
Summer’s Day: A lot of people drown at the beach.

Internet: Very few people drown in their bathtubs.

Winner: The Internet.

8.
Summer’s Day: A lot of people are eaten by sharks at the beach.

Internet: Very few people are eaten by sharks in their bathtubs.

Winner: The Internet.

9.
Summer’s Day: The flowers in bloom smell nice.

Internet: The pizza you order after nine uninterrupted hours of playing “Counter-Strike” online smells nicer.

Winner: The Internet.

10.
Summer’s Day: No school during the summer months.

Internet: You post your homework in your blog for other people to complete via the “comments” section. You’ve done this since Grade 3.

Winner: The Internet.

11.
Summer’s Day: Having an outdoor BBQ is fun.

Internet: Your computer has never emitted a thirty foot pillar of flame due to an impatient Uncle Walter and excess “BBQ starter” lighting fluid.

Winner: The Internet.

12.
Summer’s Day: You get some quiet time by sending the kids to a two-week summer camp.

Internet: You get some quiet time when your kids get addicted to “EverQuest” for seven months.

Winner: The Internet.

13.
Summer’s Day: You look cool paddling a canoe.

Internet: You look cooler getting WiFi on your laptop in a canoe.

Winner: The Internet.

14.
Summer’s Day: Roasting marshmallows over an open campfire is fun.

Internet: Flaming strangers in chatrooms by insulting their mothers is more fun.

Winner: The Internet.

15.
Summer’s Day: Throwing a Frisbee is an activity most people enjoy.

Internet: Throwing an America Online Free Trial CD against the wall is an activity everyone enjoys.

Winner: The Internet.

16.
Summer’s Day: If you are a woman, you feel a little shy wearing a bikini on the beach.

Internet: If you are a woman, you don’t feel shy at all about posting pictures of your drunken, unconscious ex-boyfriend wearing a bikini on the Internet.

Winner: The Internet.

17.
Summer’s Day: When summer ends, winter arrives.

Internet: When your Internet access crashes, Life as you know it ends.

Winner: …..still The Internet.

Lord Vulcher · #2 07-14-2006, 10:14 AM

What an idea for a thread. But that is worrying, could the Internet take over life itself? If that happens, we're screwed.

Daxter King · #3 07-14-2006, 10:17 AM

I love throwing those AOL CDs against wall. Yay Internet!

Fez · #4 07-14-2006, 10:18 AM

:

What an idea for a thread. But that is worrying, could the Internet take over life itself? If that happens, we're screwed.

Lord Vulcher · #5 07-14-2006, 10:18 AM

Problem is, some people might get addicted to it. And that ain't good.

Fez · #6 07-14-2006, 10:23 AM

:

.

used:) · #7 07-14-2006, 12:39 PM

Don't care.

Havoc · #8 07-14-2006, 03:48 PM

I remember back in the day, things like this would get a lot of laughs and humourus remarks...

Clutcher you bastard, give me back my good times!

Mutual Friend · #9 07-14-2006, 03:51 PM

:

I remember back in the day, things like this would get a lot of laughs and humourus remarks...

Or maybe this is just a shit thread?

Havoc · #10 07-14-2006, 04:03 PM

Yea but it's a known fact you have no sence of humour. So that's okay coming from you.

used:) · #11 07-14-2006, 04:41 PM

No sense of humor? HAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD, HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh hely jesus my sides, HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sorry, could not resist.

ANGRY ELEPHANT · #12 07-14-2006, 09:28 PM

I can use my insanity to torture people on the internet and outside,so I can't really choose

Leto · #13 07-15-2006, 01:56 AM

I can end this geeky adolscent arguement here and now:

Summer Day: Having sex.

Internet: Cybering/Going to thehun.com.

Winner: Summer Day.

Soul-Storm · #14 07-15-2006, 02:08 AM

:

I can end this geeky adolscent arguement here and now:

Summer Day: Having sex.

Internet: Cybering/Going to thehun.com.

Winner: Summer Day.

So true. I'd sooner lose the internet rather than summer

E'l Scrabino · #15 07-15-2006, 02:15 AM

:

Problem is, some people might get addicted to it. And that ain't good.

Who cares? The people who are addicted (like me. Seriously. i'm on like, half the day.) are different people than you. If you know not to get addicted, then fine, don't. But forget about them other people (like me again)
think about yourself. It makes you feel fuzzy inside. Strangely...

Lord Vulcher · #16 07-15-2006, 12:38 PM

:

Or maybe this is just a shit thread?

If he posted a **** thread, then he wouldn't be a Moderator would he? I think it is a good idea for a thread. And Havoc, in answer to your question, let me think about it.....

No.

Mutual Friend · #17 07-15-2006, 12:41 PM

:

If he posted a **** thread, then he wouldn't be a Moderator would he?

Come again?

Bizarre.

Lord Vulcher · #18 07-15-2006, 12:46 PM

:

Come again?

Bizarre.

I was about to give a very angry retort there, but I thought better of it. Technology will keep advancing, and never stop.

Mutual Friend · #19 07-15-2006, 12:49 PM

Lord Vulcher, you're just a vacuum of crappy, spammy idiocy, sucking all in who would dare to near you.

You're a fool. But thank you for the answer that had nothing to do with what I said.

No need to reply to this, we're done. Seriously.

EDIT: Actually, as the V-tard keeps on pursuing with his ill-thought out ideas of stupidity, that he probably thinks look clever or something, they have sparked some old ideas.

I endorse the Cronenburgian view of technology and humanity’s relationship with it. Human beings have become technological creatures, absorbing science and progress into not only our lives but also our perception – and perception is reality. This kind of forced evolution, biology has got us this far and we’ve reached a pinnacle of sorts, we’re coping pretty well with our environment. So, our intellect is the thing that is required to grow, thought needed to shape the world around us, upgrading ourselves, an artificial progression. Life’s always moving on, one way or another.

The internet would never ‘take over’, or technology swamp us to the point where we no longer exist. What Lord Vulcher’s talking about (though he obviously hasn’t put an ounce of thought behind it) is an evolution where our definition of ‘human’ will have to change as we continually expand along the avenues available to us. We become the technology that threatens to overthrow us.

And that’s just progressive nature, that’s inevitable. And yes, all the above is a bit pretentious and pompous for what essentially is a supposed joke thread (why aren’t I laughing?) but I thought I’d write it anyway.

I recommend Cronenburg’s Videodrome, a film that explores similar themes and is terrific.

ANN NEELY · #20 07-15-2006, 02:00 PM

:

The internet would never ‘take over’, or technology swamp us to the point where we no longer exist.

Exactly. I can't believe this bullshit is coming back (like so many things from the 50's-80's). Technology can't advance without Humans allowing it to.

......

BTW, what is this "Real Life" you speak of? I can't find any screenshots....

used:) · #21 07-15-2006, 02:05 PM

Your bottom remark made me giggle.

Dusan · #22 07-15-2006, 02:48 PM

Wow what a thread. It's a good one.

Well I like internet, but nothing can changes summer beaches with lots of girls wearing allmost nothing (and it's much better than a 2d picture with a naced girls)
3D!3D!

Leto · #23 07-15-2006, 05:27 PM

:

Well I like internet, but nothing can changes summer beaches with lots of girls wearing allmost nothing (and it's much better than a 2d picture with a naced girls)
3D!3D!

Thank you for proving my point.

Rich · #24 07-15-2006, 05:29 PM

Yeah, ultimately: touching naked girls > looking at them.

Abeguy · #25 07-15-2006, 06:04 PM

funny havoc. and true

Kamille · #26 07-15-2006, 11:02 PM

I like internet!

Slig_Cake · #27 07-15-2006, 11:32 PM

I agree with Super Munch. There's only so much your hand can do for you

Mutual Friend · #28 07-16-2006, 07:15 AM

...and others. Sigh.

Bullet Magnet · #29 07-17-2006, 04:10 AM

I just realised that I am spending the whole day in my pyjamas, on the internet, reading people talking about the internet. Seeing as how there is a beautiful summers day outside and I cannot tear myself away from my laptop, I guess the internet wins. I imagine that there are upsides to a summers day, and I'll try to find them when I hang out the washing later on.

In my pyjamas.

sketch · #30 07-17-2006, 05:07 AM

that is quite funny....