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  #1  
06-15-2006, 08:41 AM
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Happy Oddworld: Abe's Peril (Possible Spoilers?? Backstory)

Okay, I'm gonna make a fanfic, I'll post a chapter every now and then, if you people want another chapter, sometimes I might forget to write another, so PM me and ask me, that way I'll remember.

Backstory: Abe was a clumsy and idiotic Mudokon, he was the savior of 99 Mudokons who were enslaved by the Glukkons, and were made to work at the dump that was Rupture Farms. A little while after, he saved 300 Mudokons which were made to work at Soulstorm Brewery, Necrum Mines, Bonewerkz, and the Slig Barracks, some of these Mudokons were sick and needed healing. A while after the Soulstorm Brewery, Abe met a Gabbit named Munch, who's race was wiped out by the Vykkers, him and Abe saved many fuzzles and Mudokon eggs, and don't forget the Gabbiar, which contained hundreds of Gabbit eggs!

Chapter 1
The Vision

"Abe...wake up, it's closing time you Schmuck!" Alf shook Abe thoroughly.
Abe grunted and rolled over, he fell off of the counter and smashed his head on the chair.
"AHHH GET AWAY FROM ME SCRAB!!!" Abe shouted crazily. He picked a chair up and threw it at Alf, which missed and sent Abe's teacup flying to the wall, where it shattered into tiny porceline pieces.
"Abe, I'm not a Scrab!! GET LOST BEFORE I GET THE GUN OUT!!" Alf exclaimed threateningly.
Abe fell on the floor and drifted into a sleep yet again. Alf yawned loudly and glared at his friend. He remembered the time Abe had led him and some other Mudokons into the desert, he got drunk on Soulstorm Brew in the Mines underground, and had farted at recovery from the drunkeness.
"He does this every time!!" He muttered angrily to himself.
He sighed and lifted Abe from the ground, and kicked open the doors, and threw Abe out into the rain, he still slept on. The doors of the Rehab & Tea slammed behind Alf, making the rain on the windows bounce off.
Abe opened his eyes and saw the three weirdos staring down at him.

"Abe, run!!! The Glukkons are coming!!! QUICKLY!!" The Mudomo weirdo said urgently.
"Soulstorm is back, Abe!!! Rupture farms is too!!" The Mudanchee weirdo said quickly.
"What?? I blew Soulstorm and Rupture Farms up!!!" Abe said worriedly.
"The Glukkon rebuilt the places on the Island south of Mudos!! They are coming here for workers, get everyone to safety, quickly!!" The Mudancho weirdo explained.
"What Glukkon??" Abe asked immediately.
Everything dissapeared and Abe began to see the usual trees and grass around him. He gasped, then thought to himself, "Are the Glukkons really coming for us?"
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  #2  
06-27-2006, 12:15 AM
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Happy Good job

Looking good so far. Nice compression of the backstory and characterisation of the Mudokons
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  #3  
06-27-2006, 12:41 AM
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Thanks Patrick! I'll post another chapter when I get home from school!

Chapter 2

Abe's Destiny

Abe bit his bottom lip, he stood up and ran to the tower with the gong in it. He climbed it and hit the gong a few times, it echoed through the village and lights were appearing in the tiny huts and curious Mudokons ran outside with worried looks on their faces.
"What the hell's going on? What's up Abey?" a few Mudokons shouted to him, waving like mad.
"Everyone, run before it's to late! The Glukkons are coming for us!" Abe warned them all, pointing at the mountains, and stamping the wooden floor of the tower with his feet.
"Yeah, okay Abey, whatever you say!" Alf said sarcastically, he'd just come from the roof of the Rehab and was now sitting down.
"NO!! I'm serious! RUN!!" Abe roared, he couldn't believe he was hearing this.
"Ha ha! You chump!" Alf mocked, he was now laughing at poor Abe.
Abe glared at Alf, he stamped so hard on the floor that it started to crunch under his feet and then it fell through and Abe crashed to floor and smashed his head, it was lucky there was a spooce patch there to save him.
Suddenly, the tower fell on Abe, there was a heap of wood and nails sticking out everywhere, Abe was trapped...
The villagers looked at the pile of wood, then ran quickly back into their houses, not wanting to be blamed for anything, they left poor Abe there, nearly dead...

The big face appeared, and said I was dead,
he then said, my best friend was ahead,
the Glukkons are back, to enslave us all,
the profits are going up, they're getting a good haul,
now, we must save all the rest, that was our test...


Abe fell to the floor with a mighty crash, he groaned, then stood up, dust went flying in every direction as he shook himself clean.
Flames were crackling everywhere, houses were blackened with smoke and soot, and the whole village was deserted, no Muds anywhere...
"What the hell's happened??" Abe cried, looking around at the blazing inferno.
Then he realised, the Glukkons had been and taken the Mudokons with them, Abe saw Chant processors flying around the place, and heard the snoring of Sligs nearby.
He had to be free, he had to run for his life, and find Munch. He knew this time, he had a destiny...

Last edited by Jordan; 06-27-2006 at 02:16 PM..
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  #4  
06-28-2006, 07:31 AM
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Man, those two chapters were super, Jordan_Boi. Excellent Job.
I'd love to hear more. And I say that with truth.
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  #5  
06-28-2006, 08:54 AM
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Thanks Spirrow! Here is another chapter!

Chapter 3

Party Pooper

Abe crept to the shadow of the burning Rehab, he lay down on his belly, watching a sleeping Slig on the edge of the forest. The Slig was snoring loudly, and was talking in his sleep, "Food, must eat food, PIE!!" the Slig rolled over and snorted, it began chewing its arm hungrily.
"Idiot!" Abe said, chuckling to himself. He rolled closer to the Slig and hid behind a rock, it had spooce growing from it, so Abe plucked some from the surface. Abe began chanting, creating a spooce orb, he had complete control over it. The spooce orb hovered over to the Slig, and the Slig started shaking, and its eyes turned blue, and it had an aura about it. Abe had possessed it.
The Slig stood up, and picked his shotgun up, he ran to a group of Sligs talking to eachother and joined the conversation.
"Hey Toast, aint you supposed to be with Molluck?" a Slig asked Abe (Toast).
Abe gasped, Molluck?!? Molluck was alive?!?
"Eh? Oh, erm I wanted a break!" Toast said hurriedly, scratching his head.
"Meh. We were just talking about going for a drink with the others on the beach, wanna come? Bob here is hosting, he left his beach duty to come here, so how about it?" the Slig wondered.
"Yeah... yeah! That would be great!" Toast lied, looking around at the others, he'd have his chance to kill them off...

"Come on Toast! Hurry up, we'll miss the party!" a Slig said impatiently, beckoning to Toast.
"Hold on guys! I dropped my gun back there... I'll catch up!" Toast lied again, turning his back on his "friends".
He waited until their backs were turned then he turned round to face them. Toast picked his gun up then aimed at a Slig, he shot rapidly at it and moved his gun side to side so all of the Sligs were hit. They all went flying to the ground, blood spraying the grass as they hit the forest floor, they had enough energy to scream, how typical...
Toast had to hurry, or more Sligs would be coming for Abe...
He ran as fast as his metal legs would take him, he kicked the dead Slig bodies aside, he carried on until there was an opening in the trees above him. The light of the silver moon shone on the forest floor, Toast's heart was beating fast, he had been running for quite a while now and was getting tired. He heard the laughter of Sligs, and the barking of Slogs, he knew he was getting close...
He finally made it to an opening, he looked outside and saw lights were flickering, and cans of beer were scattered all over the sandy beach.
"Hey hey!! -Hic- You're just in time Toasty boy! -Hic- Have some -Hic- Opple Cider -Hic- fresh from the Opple Farm in the West!" a Slig said drunkenly, he was hopping up and down, a Cider bottle swinging in his hands.
Toast shook his head, and lifted his gun and aimed at the Cider Slig.
"H-hey! What the hell are you doing?!? Don't shoot, please!!" the Cider Slig begged, he wasn't hicoughing anymore.
Blood splattered as the Slig's body hit the floor, followed by others, they fell down like dominoes, gun fire filling the air.
Dead corpses were scattered all over the beach like hobo newspaper carpets. Toast sniffed the air, and dropped his gun, he started to shake like the time he was just possessed, he exploded, bits of his tentacles and skin flew into the air and onto the sandy floor.
"Yeah!" Abe cheered, punching the air in triumph. Suddenly Abe heard voices, Slig voices...
"FREEZE!! It's that Abe guy! Get 'im!" a Slig ordered, aiming the gun at Abe.

Last edited by Jordan; 06-28-2006 at 08:59 AM..
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  #6  
06-28-2006, 11:32 AM
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Alright, that was great. I think when you have enough chapters you
ought to release them on the web like some other people do. You got me
hooked already.
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  #7  
06-28-2006, 01:12 PM
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Thanks again Spirrow! I'll post another chapter tomorrow!

Chapter 4

The New Stockyards

Abe turned and sped to the forest as fast as he could, dodging the Slig gunfire, he reached the opening of the forest, but he slipped and fell down the cliff. He clung onto a rock jutting from the mossy wall, and hung there. "We've lost 'im guys! Come on, we'll go get some Opple cider!" a Slig said disappointedly, dropping his gun. The gun slid and fell off the cliff, it hit Abe's hand and he let go by accident. "OW!!! You chump!!" Abe cried in pain, he tried to grasp something, but he had fallen too far from the wall.
Abe shook himself, he'd fallen in a pile of meat, Scrab meat. "Ugh!" Abe said in disgust, spitting meat from his mouth. After the Mudokon had cleaned himself he opened his eyes and saw machines, Sligs, pens, Paramites and Scrabs all over the place. This place looked very familiar... "This... this is the St-stock yards!" Abe gasped, he covered his mouth with his hand. Then he saw, across the sea was a gigantic building with smoke emerging from pipes and rooves, it was the remade meat factory, Rupture Farms! There was a train connecting the Stockyards with Rupture Farms, in the train was different kinds of meat, from Scrabs, Paramites, and many more. Abe shook his head, this couldn't be happening to him, he had to stop this terror.
Abe crawled from the ledge he was standing on and grabbed it, he slowly lowered himself down. He turned and saw a terrifying sight... he had come face to face with a Scrab!
The Scrab howled and lunged at Abe, he luckily dodged the attack, then he did a running jump to a higher pen, he clambered up, and looked around him. There was a pack of 5 Paramites around him, they all hissed and dived at him. Abe was quick, he ducked and rolled away, the Paramites following him. Abe carried on rolling, and he set and alarm off, which sent a mine flying at him, he rolled off of the edge, and just grapped the ledge, and the mine flew into a wall and exploded.
Abe dropped and softly landed in the shadows near a Slig on watch. "What the hell was that?!?" the Slig whispered madly, spinning around in all directions.
Abe gulped, then crept closer to the Slig. He spotted a blinking chant processor above him, this prevented him from chanting. Abe waited until the Slig turned around, then crept behind it.
Suddenly Abe let out a loud, wet, smelly fart, he then slapped the Slig around the face, then ran for it, his heart pounding his chest.
He passed alarm after alarm, cage after cage, until he came to the train station. He looked down and saw the beach he had visited earlier with Toast.
"IRWIN!! Where the hell are you?!?" a Vykker called Humphrey shouted, sounding like a girl. Humphrey was getting closer to Abe, so he had to jump.
Abe hit the beach floor and sunk in the sand, after freeing himself, he ran to the sea, and whistled to his friend. There was a reply!

Last edited by Jordan; 06-29-2006 at 07:48 AM..
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  #8  
06-29-2006, 07:37 AM
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These are really great. You do seem to have a talent for story writing.
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  #9  
06-29-2006, 07:49 AM
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Why thankyou! I'll post another maybe later or tomorrow!
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06-29-2006, 08:31 AM
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Happy

I don't know what to say, Jordan_Boi, I'm speechless. Excellent
story.

I was a little confused about the chant processor at first, I suppose
it was a security orb, correct?
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  #11  
06-29-2006, 09:41 AM
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Yeah, I forgot what they were called! Sorry about that!
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06-29-2006, 10:12 AM
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Yeah, I forgot what they were called! Sorry about that!
Don't worry, everyone makes mistakes.
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  #13  
06-29-2006, 11:07 AM
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They are called chant suppressors as well. I think that was in AO...
This is absolutely incredible. Can't wait for the 'reply' whatever it may be...
A Sea rex lunged, ate Abe, then sank again. Alf then came too.
"Oops"
Soory, just couldn't resist
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06-29-2006, 01:53 PM
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Lol, I make lots of mistakes! Zerox what was that little thing about? Poor Abey, being eaten! Oh yeah, today I had an English exam, and I had to write a little story about how a character changes. I did it with Abe in Rupture Farms, he had to save 20 Mudokons, dunno why I did that, I had to change the story so much, as we didn't have long. He changed from being miserable to happy... -_-
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06-30-2006, 08:03 AM
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Lol, I make lots of mistakes! Zerox what was that little thing about? Poor Abey, being eaten! Oh yeah, today I had an English exam, and I had to write a little story about how a character changes. I did it with Abe in Rupture Farms, he had to save 20 Mudokons, dunno why I did that, I had to change the story so much, as we didn't have long. He changed from being miserable to happy... -_-
Why do I keep getting the feeling that you will be a great writer someday.....
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06-30-2006, 08:34 AM
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LOL! I wanna be a game's designer when i'm older! By the way... I'm going on holiday in an hour, so tell people if I'm not replying to anything, I'm gone...
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06-30-2006, 08:40 AM
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LOL! I wanna be a game's designer when i'm older! By the way... I'm going on holiday in an hour, so tell people if I'm not replying to anything, I'm gone...
Right I'll do that, do you want me to put it in a thread in Welcomes and Birthdays?
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06-30-2006, 09:56 AM
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Well, I made a thread, no one is replying though... I'm going now, I'll see you all in 2 weeks! See Ya!
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06-30-2006, 11:54 AM
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Bye, Jordan_Boi. Hope you enjoy your break.

Edit: Two weeks without this man's excellent tales to lighten
my mood. Oh, I HATE THIS PLACE.
-Spirrow
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Last edited by Spirrow; 07-01-2006 at 03:37 PM..
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07-01-2006, 01:34 PM
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NNNNOOOO!!!! Need...to...know...next...chapter...*gasp*
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  #21  
07-02-2006, 07:08 AM
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Did he say when he is going to be back? I really need that next chapter to sell a book and get loads of m..... Ignore that last bit.
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07-02-2006, 08:18 AM
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I think exact dates don't matter. Just to know what the overall
time of his absence is enough for me.
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07-02-2006, 08:26 AM
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I think exact dates don't matter. Just to know what the overall
time of his absence is enough for me.
It better not be an entire year or I am going to get very bored.
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07-02-2006, 08:44 AM
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Well, I made a thread, no one is replying though... I'm going now, I'll see you all in 2 weeks! See Ya!
That answer your question?
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  #25  
07-02-2006, 08:45 AM
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That answer your question?
Oh jolly good, only two weeks to wait.
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07-02-2006, 12:35 PM
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Two weeks. Two Weeks.
Yeah I saw that. But perhaps if I'm
the first one to welcome Jordan back, he'll give me a free
pass to read his stories first. And you guys have to wait two
or three days before they appear on the forums.
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07-02-2006, 12:41 PM
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Two weeks. Two Weeks.
Yeah I saw that. But perhaps if I'm
the first one to welcome Jordan back, he'll give me a free
pass to read his stories first. And you guys have to wait two
or three days before they appear on the forums.
But I can't wait two weeks and three days.
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07-03-2006, 02:26 AM
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Be a brave boy, Lord Vulcher. Until Jordan posts another
story, it all probably just slip from your mind. But I know you
would rather wait two weeks and three days for a story than
not get one at all.
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Last edited by Spirrow; 07-03-2006 at 02:28 AM..
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  #29  
07-03-2006, 02:33 AM
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We'd better get it, or Jordan Boi will wake up dead.
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07-04-2006, 11:47 AM
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Are you gonna peck him to death and then devour him whole?

Well, I am a giant, saphire colored eagle. My brilliant blue
colors will blind you so much that I can edge forward and
poke your eyes with my talons so you can't see.

Therefore you might as well walk out the door of this thread,
having no need to read Jordan's story anymore.
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