How I came to adopt a Scrab.

[Slig_Cake]

I guess you’re all wondering how I came to adopt ‘Big Red’ as my pet scrab.
Or you probably don’t give a ratz arse.

Regardless, here’s part one of this nail biting trilogy!

PART ONE – A Bong Too Many

My father has always been a strict man. Doesn’t often let me out of the house on school nights, bans me from the television, always telling me to pull my socks up and tuck my shirt in, comb my hair like Hitler, the list is endless.
Imagine my surprise when he allowed me and my mates to drive up to ‘Scrabania’ with him for his filming of the nature show, ‘No Place like Odd’ he hosts! I was wrapped and immediately rang up several close friends to arranged plans with them. As expected, everyone wanted to go.
“Scrabania?” cried Brad, “Mate that sounds awesome.”
“Yeh just remember to bring a slab and try and a bit of grass.” I said, and hung up the phone. A couple of others rang me later that afternoon asking if they could come, which I found a bit rude. I told them my Dad said I could only bring five, and we were only taking one car. This didn’t go down with them too well but I had no intention of bringing people who’d been my ‘best friend since that drink they shouted me”. I was happy with the five I invited and for the first time ever, actually looked forward to the expedition. I had always found them boring since I was thirteen years of age. All the creatures of odd just looked the same and the security would never let anyone outside the campsite. Most of the time it was about standing around waiting for the people to set the cameras up and then watching a ‘Paramite’ pounce on some unsuspecting Fleech. But I expected this to be different. Scrabs have always been my favourite animal, and on the rare occasion you would see two dominant Scrabs face off to each other. The fights were always intense and it would be great to watch them in the company of my friends, rather than some spaced out cameraman.

After two weeks passed, the day finally came for us to set off for Scrabania. My friends came around early and we loaded up the beers in the tray of the ute. My dad gave me a map of the way, and gave me the key passes we needed to enter the established campsite.
“And don’t forget to wear your desensitizer watches at all times.” He warned.
“Yeh, of course.” I replied. The sound of a car horn blared behind us and we saw the television network van waiting to pick my father up. He turned his back on me and headed off. Before opening the door he yelled out to me, “Don’t forget to recharge them too!” He got in the van and the driver sped off without hesitation.
Back inside I rounded all the guys up and we all got in the car. After driving through the suburban areas, the distance between the houses began to lengthen more and more until there was just plain farmland around us. Rod and Tim poked their heads up from the tray and grinned at me in the rear vision mirror. I was still unsure of why I agreed to let them back there. I wasn’t too concerned about getting demerit points on my license, it was when I saw them throwing out tons of empty beer cans I got annoyed.

By nightfall we had finally reached ‘Scrabania’. We had less trouble than I expected of getting in as the vehicle had not been registered to enter. All the documentary crew had gone to bed by the time we pulled up into the camp and we set about finding our own caravan.

As usual, the caravans weren’t very luxurious. It was very cramped for six of us, and very stuffy due to the lack of windows. We decided it’d be better to smoke outside tonight rather than in the caravan, so we dumped our bags and rigged up the electric light around the back of the caravan where there were a few logs for us to sit on. We started chopping up our weed and began to pass around the bong. Time passed and everyone was beginning to get a permanent grin and I felt my throat starting to burn. Another round later we were all laughing like kookaburras and didn’t know why. It just seemed funny that Brendan was wearing a red shirt I guess. Tim and Brad soon passed out and we started to get into a semi-serious conversation about what we were planning to do tomorrow.
“I’m gonna take out ‘Big Red’.” I said casually. A loud moan erupted from the rest of the group in unison and they laughed about it. Then Chris turned to me more seriously (or at least he tried to with both of his eyes drooping).
“Mate….” He began, “…you wouldn’t be able to handle a normal sized scrab, never mind Big Red!” Then he started to drift off mumbling something. Brendan (who was the non-smoker of the group) then piped up.
“Go on! I dare you. Go out and find Big Red and…..and bring back the ****’s head!” They all laughed at this and I started to feel angry and got aggressive.
“Mate I will!” I yelled, “I’m goin’ to go out…right now and find him. And I won’t just bring back his head, I’ll bring back his torso, his legs, rip out his teeth…” I said all of this with such conviction, that Brendan knew I was serious about this and cut me off. “Mate seriously don’t be a dickhead.”
“Nah **** this I’m going!” I stated, and got up to leave.
“Sit down right now and go to sleep.” He shouted, the other two started telling me not to go as they realised what I was doing.
“I’m off, later.” I said and walked off. As I did I could hear my friends calling out to me softly, but they gave up and started talking to each other.
“He won’t go." Assured Rod, "He'll just come back with a whole load of bullshit." The group agreed and they all fell asleep.

[Slig_Cake]

Silly forumers. Your "gay story, won't reply" attitude dosn't phase me!

On to the sequel!

PART TWO - The Overgrown Lobster

I can't remember how long I'd been walking for. I had a deck of Winfield 25 ciggerettes with me and tried to smoke half of them on the way. I ended up wasting half of them as every time I'd light one up, I'd throw the ciggerette away because of the awful sensation going down my burnt throat. I wasn't serious about finding 'Big Red' on my walk, I was going to turn back after a while and come back to them, spinning a yarn about finding a scrab and forcing it to run away.
Was I worried about running into a real scrab? Of course not. For one I was stoned, and I had my desenstizer wrist watch on. Even if I found a scrab it wouldn't detect my presence. Or that's what I thought.

I stopped out in the middle of the desert coming to the realisation that I might not be able to find my way back to the campsite. I stood there for at least half an hour not knowing what I was to do or where to go, so I lit up another ciggerette. That's when I saw the scrab.

It wasn't 'Big Red' but the sight of any scrab is terrifying for anyone. It was about a stones throw away so I wasn't too afraid. The scrab seemed to stop walking and looked directly in my direction. It then shrieked while bending its torso towards me in the one movement.
I stood there frozen. Did it know I was there? Was it my ciggerette smoke that had given me away? The scrab let out a howl and then advanced on me.
That's when I realised, my wrist watch! It'd batteries had drained completely, this scrab could sense me around a mile off. It began to canter towards me, then I dropped my smoke and ran. I pumped my arms hard and strode my legs as far as I could hoping to God that I was taking myself in the right direction back to the campsite. I was a fast runner but no human can out run a scrab over long distance. It galloped after me, its four legs easily out matching my two. I panicked and turned my head to see where the scrab was. It was gaining distance easily and I knew in another 5 seconds it would be right on me. Desperatly I strode my legs faster panting, and hoping that someone back at base camp would be out and have seen me. I looked around again to find the scrab was now only 2 metres away. Then I hit something hard and reeled backwards onto the soft sand. I did not care if the scrab got me anymore, I was too sedated. I then heard a loud shriek and passed out.

***

Have you ever woken up in the morning thinking how good it is to be at home in bed, and then remembering an incident that occurred the night before and realising everything is not alright? Well that is like what happened to me when I woke up in the middle of the desert. At first I thought I'd just passed out behind the caravan. I closed up my eyes again and rolled on my side. My eyes slid open lazily and I saw a half eaten scrab lying dormant beside me. "Woh" I murmered. "HEY GUYS." I yelled. Noone answered. "ROD COME HERE!" I called. Rod answered me with a scrab shriek.
In a flash I remembered everything that happened before I passed out. Scrambling to my feet I turned around to where the howl came from and there just facing me were the biggest pait of Scrab legs I'd ever seen. I looked up fearfully and saw Big Red's head facing down towards me. I fell over backwards screaming and backing away til I hit the rock that I ran into that night. I cowered there gibbering and buried my head into my lap shaking. Thn I began to sob uncontrollably wishing I'd never done anything so stupid last night and wondering what everyone would think when they found me lying in the desert with just a few remains left. I heard the dull thud of the scrabs pincers advancing towards me and waited for my fate. For nearly 2 minutes I sat there not daring to run away. But why hadn't he attacked me yet. I nervously raised my head to find the scrab bent over, offering a piece of bloody raw meat in front of me. Still shaking, I looked up at him confused. What was he doing? Humans are natural enemies of scrabs and although they don't much appreciate the taste of us, they will still kill and devour our bodies on sight.
Slowly, I raised my arm out to grab the meat. When my hand was nearly under it Big Red dropped it in my palm which made me jump. He then backed off and shrieked at me as if telling me to 'eat'.
The meat looked disgusting. I'd always imagined it'd be a taste of something between lobster and crab, but it looked simply awful. It was wet and slimy and although it there was a pale green colour under the white texture. I ate it timidly feeling uneasy with the big scrab watching. The meat was as disgusting as I'd thought. It was bland, jelly like and oozing with a horrible juice that was salty and very sour. But I was so hungry and scared that I ate all of it. When I'd finished the scrab gave a cry of joy, howling and stamping its feet into the ground. The sight of this made me cower again, looking up at the scrab in terror. It stopped and backed off a few paces before drooping its torso. Then it let out a deep faltering howl while I gazed in bewilderment. Big Red seemed to be actually crying! After five minutes of telling myself to get up, I finally plucked up enough courage to advance towards it. Cautiously, I raised my arm slowly and finally landed my palm on its beak, terrified of the consequences if I'd figured him out wrongly. The scrab though, did nothing, just continued to howl and seemed to whimper in its short breaths. I lost all nerves and began to smile.
"You're just a big softy arn't you mate." I chuckled, stroking the beasts great beak. Big Red stopped howling and began to nuzzle into my arm as I continued to pat him. "Why's a big scrab like you looking after me anyway?" I murmered.
Then I noticed the noise of a thunderstorm building up to a crescendo. Turning I saw a large dustclowd in the distance, and as it emerged I could faintly make out unmistakeable images of scrabs on the rampage. Big Red raised his enormouse beak to the sky nearly bowling me over, and let out a massive howl of anger. He then swung his neck towards me and rammed me behind the huge rock. My eyes widened as they peeped around the corner to find scores of scrabs, charging towards Big Red!

Hows my writing? Call 1900 kiss my scrabby arse

[Slaveless]

Hm, I think this story is well writen. But we don't call stories gay or anything. Or at least most of us. This reminds me of the Grubb Migration for some reason.

[T-nex]

Welll It's a very good story n all, but confusing too. is it all happening on Oddworld? And why are there ´humans on it?

[Slig_Cake]

Welll It's a very good story n all, but confusing too. is it all happening on Oddworld? And why are there ´humans on it?

well...it was meant to be a stupid story so i Kind of mixed it up a little. Come to think of it it would've been half decent it if was titled "How the mudokon got his pet scrab" and i changed like....everything.

Anyway before I write Part Three I have a small story to go in between the sequel.
_________________________________________________________________

Before the Evil Scientists, before the Magog Cartel.
Scrabs roamed wild and free.
And the King of these Scrabs was the Big Red.

Big Red was strong, Big Red was fast
Whomever he fought would never last.
For he would rule scrabs a like,
Even muds, Glukkons and Paramites.

This Scrab was king, yet he was kind.
Mudokon folk he did not mind.
To him all scrabs would bow,
And so he made a rule, that made Alpha's howl.

"No Scrabs must fight eachother" He Decreed.
But all the Alpha Scrabs disagreed.
They left their packs and met under a moon,
Shaped with a Mudokon skull, to mean impending doom.
These Scrabs were sinister and evil kind,
No sense of mercy, you would find.
And the most sinister and merciless of them all was Shaki.

Shaki always hated, the scrab Big Red.
He above all, wanted him dead.
For he was always second to Big Red's power,
That Scrabs sheer size always made him cower.

"Big Red is a fool!" Shaki cried.
"He only wants to gain more power!" He lied.
But The Alphas agreed, and got ready to kill
They would strike near the valley, over the hill.

There Big Red rested, not knowing his fate.
Hw was not knowing, he caused so much hate.
The mean scrabs attacked him at dawn,
While Big Red fought back, all battered and worn.

Then Shaki stepped out, and took his stance.
The others backed off, now he had his chance.
Shaki charged, howling with delight,
But Big Red stood his ground and prepared to fight.

Four swords clashed, but still Big Red was too quick.
Shaki was losing, yet he could still play his trick.
Shaki howled in anger, and that was the sign.
A young Alpha "Sneki" moved swiftly behind.

Grabbing Big Red, the young scrab tugged hard.
Reeling him backwards over a yard.
Shaki then charged and gave a huge biff.
Big Red stumbled, and fell off the cliff.

Shaki howled with delight, thinking he'd won.
But a twist of fate, was soon to come.
"Coward!" Shrieked the scrabs, filled with disgust.
"Killing this great warrior was not a must!"

"You were the one, who only wanted his fame.
You cheated to beat him, and now must die in shame!"
The Scrabs turned on Shaki, then made sure Sneki was dead.
Then they went down the valley, to praise the Big Red.

There the great beast lay, dormant on the earth,
So the Scrabs howled in prayer, to give him rebirth.

***

"That was so stupid." Scoffed the young mudokon.
"Hey!" Said Alf angrily, "You think you can do better? I'd like to see you try."
"The poem didn't even rhyme in parts. And it was pointless anyway." He laughed.
Alf frowned. "What was so pointless about it?"
"The fact that these scrabs got together, then they killed the Big Head..."
"Big Red." Corrected Alf, starting to feel peeved with the youngsters attitude.
"And yeh they didn't want to kill him anyway so what was the point?"
"The point is, young mud." Alf paused for a moment to think. "The point is that...Big Red was very good and...I don't have to explain myself to stupid kids like you." He hissed angrily.
The mudokon frowned at this comment. "What a jerk." He thought to himself as Alf sipped his tea. Then after a minute or so he proceeded to ask more questions.
"So let me get this straight. There are two Big Reds. One that died ages ago, and now another one alive right now."
"No." Said Alf, putting down his mug on the rock. "There is only one. He has now been reincarnated after all this time."
"So he's now going to lead all the scrabs to freedom against the magog cartel? And all scrabs will be nice to us now?"
Alf sighed. "No I'm afraid not. The Scrabs have forgotten their past, and most likely a new group of Alpha's are teaming up to kill him once more. However..." Alf paused to fill his mug. "It is said in the prophecy that there is someone of any race that will protect him this time around."
"And which prophecy is that?" The mudokon asked.
"Pfft. You ask to many questions." He spat. "Anyway the point is whoever is around the scrab and saves him will be his chosen one. The scrab will then choose him...or her as his guardian. It could be you young one." Alf smiled thinking this comment made him look wise.
"Could it be a glukkon?" The mudokon asked with interest.
Alf rolled his eyes. "Don't be stupid. What can a glukkon do? He'd just get a slig to shoot the Alpha scrabs, then the sligs would be the guardians OBVIOUSLY. And I don't think even they're stupid enough to hand him over to their glukkon oppressor."
The mudokon scowled. "So what about one of those humans?" He asked quizzically.
"Odd help us if it's a human." Said Alf.

[Slaveless]

Hm, Alf found a new hobby. It's probably harder getting muds' attenion, rather than humans'. :P

[Fuzzleman54321]

This is a great story! Please continue!

[Slig_Cake]

God damn....people are reading this piece of crap.
Here's the final instalment! And it's a long one...

PART THREE - Scrabanian Showdown

So there I sat cowardly behind the rock, waiting for Big Red to take on the rampaging scrabs. As the scrabs drew closer I hid behind the rock again, before realising that the scrabs would still know I was there anyway. Big Red towered over all of them like a giant, but these scrabs looked exceptionally strong and there were defiantly more than twenty of them. An ear-splitting howl erupted again from Big Red which caused me to shake in fright. Then he advanced on the pack.

The Alpha Scrabs made the first move. They struck first; circling around the giant so fast a huge dust-storm emerged around them. It sprayed into my eyes and I had to shut them, as sand sprayed through me sticking to my hair. Still wanting to see the outcome, I opened my eye lids blearily to find ten scrabs clung to Big Red tight while the other scrabs ran rings around him, delivering sharp blows to his legs with their beaks. Big Red fought back furiously, picking up a scrab one by one, snapping their torso with his pincer mouth and tossing them miles into the air. He desperately tried to move his legs around to shake off his enemies, yet more scrabs came and latched onto him. One of his legs all ripped to shreds began to gave way and he staggered awkwardly. Then another leg began to shake and his body crumpled to one side like a falling tower. The scrab howled in pain and it became obvious that he was not going to win this fight.
I hid behind the rock again not bearing to witness my new found friend get slashed to pieces. I knew that once he was gone, the scrabs would then find me and kill me too. So cowardly, I ran away.

At least I would have, had I not stumbled over the dead slig behind me.

I stared down at it entranced, it was not a wild slig but I was trying to understand the significance of it. Then I realised. Sligs carry guns!
I picked up the slig by its metal legs and tossed it aside. Sure enough there was a standard SS7 Machine Gun (Slig Storm 7). I grabbed it not caring about the stench that it carried and checked the cache, it was loaded. I scrambled on top of the boulder and crouched down. Breathing hard, I prepared for my first target. A lone scrab just standing there seemingly grinning at Big Red's dying moment. He looked bigger and stronger than the rest of them yet stayed out of the fight. "That must be the leader." I murmured with the the gun pressed up against my cheek. I opened fire.
The scrab took a hit then looked up at me and howled. One bullet was not going to be enough, I continued to fire it and it stuttered backwards for each bullet it took. The gun shook uncontrollably in my hands but I kept firing until the scrab fell over screaming. It frantically tried to get up on its legs, but I then took aim at its head and fired until it lay there, dead.
The scrabs stopped fighting and turned around at the noise. With my heart pumping and fingers burning I let out a spray of bullets on all of them, taking care not to hit Big Red. The Scrabs screamed in confusion and this gave Big Red enough time to pull off a couple more scrabs and flung them away. The Alpha's shrieked angrily at me as I continued to bring down more of them. "YOU'RE ****ED NOW!" I yelled and laughed hysterically. But as I pulled the trigger to wipe out the scrab pecking furiously at Big Red's butt, the gun made the noise every slig soldier fears to hear. "Click click".
"Oh shit." I thought, the scrabs began to beat down on Big Red again, angered by the gunfire and even more enthused to slaughter the giant scrab. There were still fifteen of them and Big Red was struggling to stay upright on his last legs. I was determined to save him now I believed he had a chance, but I had only one idea left, and this didn't seem very likely to work.
I had heard of Shaolin monks having the ability like mudokons, to be able to possess. I had watched on Oprah some time ago about someone who had this gift and perfected it. "The trick," he said "is you need to focus on what you want, and believe you can be that being."
Well it didn't seem likely to work but I gave it a shot. Standing up I crouched over, closed my eyes and put my hands together. "Think!" I said to myself, "Imagine you are that scrab attacking him!” I then began to chant softly, picking up the tempo as the guy had done in his example. Then I felt a glowing sensation erupting out of my body. "It's working!" I yelled, then I realised I had to stay focused. I tried again and felt the energy circulating my body again, then it seemed to spew out of me from my chest and I felt as though I had become the energy field surrounding my body, yet I was still in my own body. I continued to chant, focused on becoming the scrab. I felt as though I was soaring through the air and entering a cramped space. All of a sudden I felt ten times stronger then I was before, I thought I still had my eyes shut when I realised that I had no sight at all. I could not see anything, not even darkness. All that I had was my mind which was telling me there were scrabs all around me. I had become that scrab!

I could tell instantly where I was and how many scrabs were around me. I turned to one of them and ripped into him with my beak. The scrab howled in confusion and I ripped into his chest taking out his heart. I instinctively howled into the sky and felt a massive force around my body making me feel even stronger than I was before. I galloped to the next scrab and slashed his back, and he fell down screaming as he did. The scrabs began to panic and a couple of them turned to face me. But by chance I had acquired a very quick scrab and dodged them both, slashing their necks as I ran circles around them. Big Red was starting to regain spirit, as I cut down the next scrab I felt another dead one flying over my head. Soon there were only three left, who stayed out of the fight while Big Red and I killed all the others.
They stood there and did nothing, while Big Red struggled to raise his wounded legs. Then one scrab shrieked.
"KEOWL!" He cried, "WHY HAVE YOU TURNED AGAINST US?" I stood there and said nothing, not knowing how to. "KEOWL!" He howled again. Then the scrab next to him spoke.
"This is not Keow." He said, "His body has been taken by a human!" I sensed a swell of rage emitting from the three scrabs. Then it was Big Red who spoke.
"FOOLS!" He hissed in agony, "You're ancestors re-created me to protect you all! They knew a time would come when I would be needed to protect you from the Glukkons. I was the one to stop you fighting each other, and reclaim our titles as kings of Scrabania once more!"
"Only you would be king, Reur." Replied the first scrab, "The rest of us would be slaves to you. We do not need you to protect us! We rule our own packs!"
The three scrabs then advanced on us. They seemed to be very strong and I knew I stood no chance. But Big Red was not finished yet. Gingerly, he lifted his pincers onto the earth and stood tall once more. He looked up and screamed into the heavens. It was so loud that even the scrabs faltered in their charge. The giant scrab seemed to grow larger as his shriek’s pitch increased. The earth began to shake and crumble as Big Red swung his massive body across to wipe out his three shaken enemies. They lay on the ground stunned and unable to move. Big Red leapt up and pounced on the ground in front of them roaring. This time it was even louder. The ground underneath the scrabs began to crack open. They scrambled to their feet but it was shaking too hard for them to keep balance. The ground then gave way and they began to slip under.
“REUR!” one of them cried, “WE KNOW NOW YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE! HELP US!”
But Big Red ignored them as they fell away into the earth screaming.


***EPILOGUE***

Well I took Big Red back to base camp and gave everyone quite a shock when I brought him in. I explained the story and we fixed him up nice and proper. Big Red refused to return to his own kind to save them and chose me as his guardian. I got quite a bit of publicity from all of it, but for some reason I kept most of the details of the story to myself.

Big Red took a while getting used to in the house. Things didn’t go down so well when he ate out cat but we eventually accepted him. He now works at the local bottle shop keeping the drinks safe.

As for me, well I haven’t been able to chant again since that day. I tried it once on my teacher but he just gave me a funny look and failed me for my assignment.

_________________________________________________________________

Anyway that’s the end of my story. It took a whole 4 hours out of my life so I would like to thank everyone that read it. You guyth are awethome (cries)

[Fuzzleman54321]

Wow. Slig cake. That was...AWSOME!

That was well cool! Hm...I have a feeling. Why dont you make a sequal?

Shows Him how much embarresment he got for having a scrab.

Big Reds job!

Think about it. I would love that.

[Slig_Cake]

thanks dude, but like I said. It was just a fun story I wrote everytime i was on the net, not worrying about how it was written or grammar mistakes. As I read over it though it kind of makes me cringe in parts.

But yeh when I get the time I'm goin to write more serious fan fics. I think people are sick to death of seeing these 'Big Red' posts all the time...I might write another one after a while.