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  #1  
03-29-2006, 02:30 AM
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Biggy Bro Slig
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Ancient Oddworld

I made a new fanfic, (this one's for those idiots who got fed up of my endless "Biggy Bro slig" ones.) It is set in the native/ancient Oddworld.

Glukkons were huddled around the fire, talking. The mudokons happily walked past the Glukkon camp and they joined into the conversation.
The Gabbits were swimming around in the lake, and some Grubbs were tossing sticks for them. Oddworld was a happy place before Industrialists. Everyone was happy for the peaceful Oddworld, except for a band of Glukkons.

These were the Glukkons who were going to evolve Oddworld.
The Glukkons lived far up north, in cold, icey buildings.
Sligs were being paid to guard the building, and amazingly, they were given a new currency, named "Mullah".
The head Glukkon, Harz, walked silently towards the piece of slate. " We all want money, don't we? Everyone wants land and power! And we shall give it to them."
The glukkons looked uneasily at eachother.
"We can make billions of mullah if we create inventions. We can sell them to one person, then everyone will want one. We shall create an Industial Oddworld!" He continued.
A Glukkon got up off his rock. "How are we going to invent such things with rocks?"
"Metals. Iron, steel! We could create advance weaponry!"
The Glukkons nodded.
"Now get to work!" Harz ordered.
The Glukkons waddled off, and started inventing with sligs.
"Soon, all Glukkons and Sligs will be following me." He sighed, and looked out the window.
"And somebody invent some kind of screen to put in this hole!" He shouted.

Well, what do you think?
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  #2  
03-29-2006, 04:03 AM
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Slaveless
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Hm, I imaged the beginning more, well revolationizing. I thought glukkons thought sligs were ugly without maskes. And glukkons wanted to be the chosen people, not mudokons, so they turned into powerful creatures and enslaved the mudokon race. But yeah, besides that, pretty good.
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  #3  
03-29-2006, 06:53 AM
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Biggy Bro Slig
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You're probably right. I've set it how I imagined it.
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