For no damn reason smokers pay good money to suck carcinogens down their throats, making themselves ill and everything around them smell terrible. Then they have the gall to take long breaks when working. Drinkers, dippers, and chewers(more damaging and wasteful shit that people let themselves get hooked on) don't get breaks. You know what else mellows people out, relieves stress, and releases chemicals in the brain and body along with feeling great? Masturbation. But the good thing about it is I'm not doing it 5 times a day(at least not while working), its not releasing carcinogens for innocents to suck down, and it isn't seriously damaging to the perpetrator. In fact, doing it once a week has been shown to have health benefits such as increased heart strength and prostate health.
Statikk's Plan: Phase out smoking. Its a silly habit. Replace it with mandatory masturbation, at least once a week. Watch suicide rates, crime rates, and cardiac deaths plummet.
/I feel it necessary to tell you that this was done with tongue planted firmly in cheek. I still hate smoking.
__________________
R.I.P. H.S.T.

I wanna have El Scrabino's man babies.
|