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  #1  
02-05-2002, 12:26 AM
Abe's son's Avatar
Abe's son
Outlaw Shooter
 
: Jul 2001
: Essex MA
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#12

(occ:its my frist fic so dont get agery at me if i do somethin wrong)

Chapter 1:Raznet is born
~~~~~~~


The Vikker entered a room were there was a huge tube in the middle with a sort of a embryo.It was like a stadium with Vikkers siting at consoles.And in that tube a harmless lizard embyro was to become a killer with stregth and abilits beyond blief
"is all the DNA in the viles?"said the Vikker.He was differt from the other Vikkers he had a robtic eye instad of a scope he had robic limbs to some were real others were not."Shall we start the combineing sir?"he thought for a moment".....yes"he pressed a button on the console.Then in the tube robotic arms begain injecting the embyro.It rigeled and thrashed violently and it mutated cuntinulesly and fineily stoped after at least 46 needles were poked in"good"the Vikker said"now we wait and when he is done bring him to the operation room and we shall finish him."


hope you like it!
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  #2  
02-12-2002, 10:57 AM
ODDBODD
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: Apr 2001
: aus
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A BIT TOO SMALL

dude way tooo small for a chapter... maybe quarter of a paragraph but not a full..

Try using more words to describe mood, background, tone
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