The long-term rammificatons of a hypospaedius

Dipstikk · #1 09-06-2005, 07:18 PM

Once upon a time, a little boy named Matthew Nicholas Seeger (you know him as Dipstikk) was born. But as great a day as this was, something sucked even greater: little Matthew was born without a urethra, and the doctors had to proform a procedure known as a "hypospaedius," in which the doctors would create a new urethra where there was none.

The surgury turned out to be a success, and everyone was happy now that little Matthew could pee correctly. But as time passed, little Matthew grew up to be a big Matthew, and soon found out that not every part of him was growing with him. Why, with his bodily proportions, you'd think he'd be hung like a horse. But this wasn't so.

Over time, big Matthew became more and more frustrated with the fact that he could only get a 3-inch erection (laugh track). One day, big Matthew got the idea to contact a urologest (dispite how much he hated the last visit he made to one) and inquire about a way to increase his size to what it should be (preferrably medicinally, surgury is out of the question. They've already done enough to it)?

Then, big Matthew had second thoughts. Does he really need it? Would it cause his urethra to close up again if it grew? And would it seem ungrateful to the doctors who proformed the procedure, so he wouldn't pee out of the front of his nuts?

But big Matt is heartset on this. It would be a huge boost to his self-esteem, and his dumb-as-a-stump bastard friend Mike would stop making fun of him for it.

So I ask you, should I go through with it? I mean, I'm definately going to, but I want to hear what you think.

used:) · #2 09-06-2005, 07:22 PM

Well, if it were up to me, I would say: **** em. I wouldn't go through with it.

But the choice is yours.

soulstice · #3 09-07-2005, 03:11 AM

It's really up to you. If it's going to have undesired medical implications, then don't do it. I think you should consult your doctor as much as possible so as to be almost certain of what effect it will have.

Jacob · #4 09-07-2005, 09:26 AM

Meh, you have a 3 inch erection.

...i doubt it can get any worse. Go for it.

Dipstikk · #5 09-07-2005, 10:21 AM

I'm worried that, as I take the medicine and it grows, my urethra closes up again. I mean, I was born without one and they had to artificially create a tube, so the lack of a urethra is probably in my genes.

But, I should talk to a uroligest first before making assumptions.

Dino · #6 09-07-2005, 10:49 AM

Speaking from the perspective of a person who dedicates 50% of his gentalia related musings to Sergeant Johnson and his mighty sack of doorknobs, I can't say I'd have much desire to remain in a sexual relationship with someone who had a 3" wang. That said, blowjobs would be a lot simpler, and "taking it" wouldn't be anywhere near as painful. But from a female point of view, I can see it being more of a major problem - it'd be a bit like chucking a stone into a bucket, and I dare say she'd get the same amount of sexual pleasure pushing a tampon into slot B. That would be completely unfulfilling for your woman.

Since you're such a muffy, I'd say go for it if you intend to remain in a steady, sexual relationship. Pissing is far less important than a good old fashioned bit of rutting, in my opinion. I'd rather have to piss out my mouth and be able to screw like a stallion, than piss through my dick and be able to unlock doors with my tiny tool (tm).

Dipstikk · #7 09-07-2005, 12:15 PM

:

it'd be a bit like chucking a stone into a bucket, and I dare say she'd get the same amount of sexual pleasure pushing a tampon into slot B

:

I'd rather have to piss out my mouth and be able to screw like a stallion, than piss through my dick and be able to unlock doors with my tiny tool (tm).

What, do you think that's funny or something? It's not like I want candied-up replies, but that's going too far.

Fuck off, Dino.

Shrink · #8 09-07-2005, 12:18 PM

Don't you think it's a bit of sensitive subject to ask commentary for on a forum? Particularly one such as here, where flames are thrown around all the time.
I ask because a lot of people would easily take offense to any flames involving such things, as well as the fact we really are unlikely to have any idea.

Hobo · #9 09-07-2005, 12:34 PM

So therefore i ban any mean talk and jokes in this thread. For Dippys sake.

And i'd go see the dude and see what the effects are...

Jacob · #10 09-07-2005, 12:37 PM

I think my reply was the most constructive and most senstive.

Ignore Dino, he's just upset that his partner isn't old enough to say "Yes" yet.

Kimon · #11 09-07-2005, 12:38 PM

It's your decision. My opinion: Get a proffesional's opinion on what will happen with the whole eurethra thing. If he gives you the green light, go for it.

AquaticAmbi · #12 09-07-2005, 01:33 PM

:

That would be completely unfulfilling for your woman.

No vagina = no valid opinion. There are lots of other things for a heterosexual couple to do that can still provide a fulfilling, intimate relationship for both partners. Besides, sex isn't everything--even in the sexual part of the hetero relationship, penetration alone isn't everything. If whenever a girlfriend learns of this "problem" and leaves you for that reason, you're better off without someone like that, Dippy.

But on the other hand, I can still see why you may want to do this, so check with your doctor about the possibilities and risks. And if the risks are too high or nothing can be done at all, forget about it. I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal... it could always be worse.

Cyber-Slig · #13 09-07-2005, 02:10 PM

I say go for it. You don't like it, fine, so change it.

Dino · #14 09-07-2005, 02:20 PM

Yeah, shit, sorry about that. I kinda got confused about the context of this thread when Matt started it off with "once upon a time". And to be honest I was slightly embarressed about debating this subject - when I get embarressed my coping mechanism is to make lots of jokes and stuff.

But anyway, you don't want excuses you want advice so, here goes;

Basically Matt, inappropriate joking aside, your penis size is going to be a major psychological thing for both you and many of the women you meet. It'll affect your confidence, which will have an impact on your relationships. You might end up in a situation where your girl walks out on you making horrible comments after seeing your size. That would put the breaks on your sex life REAL bad, so I think it would be best if you got yourself "enlarged", as it were. You'd at least avoid the majority of these situations that way, and that would improve your confidence in flirting, dating, relationships and getting round to sex.

So yeah, that's my 2 cents. Sorry again man, ^^^ that's what I really wanted to say.

Rich · #15 09-07-2005, 02:26 PM

There's some sound advice going on here. But we aren't the people to ask, go to your doctor, not some people on an internet forum. If there's no risk involved or so tiny a risk that for something bad to happen you'd have to be standing on a crack, under a ladder, smashing a mirror and having a large group of black cats wandering around you; then by all means do it.

That's my advice Matt.

AquaticAmbi · #16 09-07-2005, 02:29 PM

Oh please, Dino, that's like saying I, pretending that I'm single, should go out and get my breasts enlarged because a guy may decide mine are too small. Women can be just as bad about that I suppose... leaving a guy because of his size. My advice to anyone is to avoid these types no matter what sex they are. Like I said, you're better off without a girl who would do that. And again, keep in mind all the other wonderfully pleasurable things couples can do besides actual penetration.

Dippy, you once said you would never ask a girlfriend to increase her bra size for you, and you should expect the same respect from her.

Kimon · #17 09-07-2005, 02:37 PM

:

Dippy, you once said you would never ask a girlfriend to increase her bra size for you, and you should expect the same respect from her.

Ah yes! Good stuff, Ambi.

The above is entirely true. However, I think it may be more for himself than any lady friends the future may hold. Back in the day (freshman year), I had just such a problem. My confidence was low, I was afraid of anything sexual because of fear of rejection and such.

So if it's a self-esteem issue, I think it might be quite useful for Mista Seeger.

Dino · #18 09-07-2005, 02:37 PM

:

Oh please, Dino, that's like saying I, pretending that I'm single, should go out and get my breasts enlarged because a guy may decide mine are too small.

That's different.

1. boobs are on show at all times, rather like a massive erection.

2. boobs don't provide any physical sexual pleasure, only fetishistic excitement.

Men who like women with large breasts generally don't flirt with women who have small breasts - like I said, they are on show at all times, so it's pretty easy to tell when a woman has large breasts as opposed to small ones. (padding and implants excepted)

And we're talking about Matt's confidence and self esteem here, which is helped by avoiding situations where a woman can make nasty comments about him when they find out that he has a small penis. He probably doesn't want to have to explain to everyone that he has a small dick, least of all a hot date who he's trying to impress.

I appreciate what you're saying, penis size isn't everything - but the fact of the matter is that not a lot of people realise this, and that can't be helped or changed.

***Nate*** · #19 09-07-2005, 02:50 PM

Well if it were me, I'd definately go for it.

What are the medicinal (as compared to surgical) options? The only one's I've heard of are the pills I get spam about and apparently they don't work.

And if it does cause your urethra to close, what are your options? Could you get the operation again or are you going to have to go down the we talking wee-bags direction?

CheeseOfGlory · #20 09-07-2005, 02:52 PM

Go for it

(short posts ftw)

Facsimile · #21 09-08-2005, 01:53 AM

Off topic: What's 'ftw'? Fy the way?

On topic: Ask the doctor. We really aren't qualified to answer these questions.

Godlesswanderer · #22 09-08-2005, 04:53 AM

:

Off topic: What's 'ftw'? Fy the way?

ftw = for the win

Anyway, I reckon you should see a doctor about any possible unwanted results it could have. If there's none, go for it.

Teal · #23 09-08-2005, 09:58 AM

I'm not sure that there ARE any effective medicines available for that - all the procedures I've personally heard about involved surgery (including sewing cadaver skin to the penis to increase the girth).

Most "medicines" are just scams to wrest money off the desperate - most of the pills are just testosterone, vitamins and herbal supplements. I don't think there IS anything truly effective and medical which will "grow" the penis at all - if only because it'd have been publicised a LOT better if there was.

Mind you, I doubt this will be the first time your urologist has been asked about this sort of thing, and he's by far the expert.

Anyway, I agree with Ambi. *nods* It shouldn't matter what size you are, if you're in a meaningful relationship with someone.

AquaticAmbi · #24 09-08-2005, 12:39 PM

:

That's different.

1. boobs are on show at all times, rather like a massive erection.

2. boobs don't provide any physical sexual pleasure, only fetishistic excitement.

Righto, and I'm pretty sure Matt does have a "boob fetish", so yeah, breasts are rather important to him. But if he could accept a woman with smaller breasts than what usually excites him (which indirectly would give him physical pleasure), the same respect should be expected.

My point was both are physical expectations, and both partners need to be realistic and respectful.

:

And we're talking about Matt's confidence and self esteem here, which is helped by avoiding situations where a woman can make nasty comments about him when they find out that he has a small penis. He probably doesn't want to have to explain to everyone that he has a small dick, least of all a hot date who he's trying to impress.

Who would want a bitch who would say something mean and nasty about it anyway?

Joshy · #25 09-08-2005, 02:26 PM

If a girl dumps you because of your penis size, she's not worth it.

But, i would just take the medication if it will give you a self esteem boost. But sex is just about 5% of a long term relationship.

CheeseOfGlory · #26 09-08-2005, 02:40 PM

The way I see it, it's a medical problem that should be corrected, not only for sexual satisfaction but also for that whole self esteem thing. If it was average sized or near that, I would disagree with any surgery, but in this case it seems like a valid option.

But none of us really know the risks and such, so this discussion is pretty much moot.

used:) · #27 09-09-2005, 05:32 PM

If you're concerned about reproduction more than sexual pleasure for you and yuour mate, there's always invetro fertilization. I guess it kinda sucks for you eiyther way in someway. But, if the woman really loves you, she won't care about such things as penis size. Take it from someone who is bothered 90% of the day and called queer because I don't find some random hot girl, play the stud, and then sex her like all of the other guys. Sure squeezing tits is every straight man's phantasy, but I believe I will have my moment when I have it. Well, like I saud before, do what you want. But I will always respect you as the talented artist and forum meber as you always have been.

Jacob · #28 09-09-2005, 06:35 PM

'Sure squeezing tits is every straight man's phantasy'

Jesus, find a Cow then.

Dipstikk · #29 09-09-2005, 07:08 PM

:

Jesus, find a Cow then.

I tried, but the bitch hoofed me in the throat!
[/sickjoke]

Yeah, anyway, like many of you said, a doctor would be the one to ask, not online forumdudes. Thanks for all of your support, guys. Sorry for telling you to fuck off, Dino. All things considered, that was a little harsh of me.

Anyway, I'll let this keep open for a few days, and ask one of the OT Mods to close it maybe...Monday?

Rich · #30 09-10-2005, 02:09 AM

:

Anyway, I'll let this keep open for a few days, and ask one of the OT Mods to close it maybe...Monday?

That'd be fine. Just say the word when you want it closed.