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  #1  
07-02-2005, 05:39 AM
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Through Mumlo's Eyes

While I'm on vacation I'm goanna get bored, so I decided to write one of my best stories! If you're asking how I'm here if I'm on vacation, I'm using a laptop.


Mumlo

A slig with no personality whatsoever

He wasn’t evil, but he wasn’t good either

Born in a special way, he came to know things much more differently

He was like all the other 234 sligs that were born this way

He had no friends

He never talked all that much

Most commonly, he was described as a ghost

But he was not alone…

…At least, for now that is.

Through Mumlo’s Eyes
An Oddworld fan fiction created by:
Sliguy101

Prologue

You thought that all sligs are the same.

There are two things that sligs have in common. First of all, all of them use guns. Every slig needs a gun. If you expect them to fight, well, they obviously can’t with their scrawny little arms now can they? Second of all, all of them have a dark soul. It would be as black as an ace on a simple playing card. They need that dark soul, because if they didn’t have it, they would never be able to kill Mudokons, for they would care for them and be sorry for what they did.

But until today, not all sligs the same. Both Glukkons and Vykkers have made studies about a new kind of sack that can be found in a cave that is underneath the ruins of Necrum Mines. These sacks confirm that there is a different way that Sligs are born. The normal way that a slig was born was (of course) from a Mother Slig. But this is a special way that Sligs are born. Here’s how it would birth.

Inside the sack, there is a tiny little Slig Tadpole that is hardly visible when the sack first develops. The sack holds nutrients for the Slig to grow at a fast rate, depending on how much nutrients the sack carries. If the sack doesn’t carry many nutrients, it would grow at a slow rate. But if the sack carries a lot of it, it will grow at a rapid rate. The average wait of the Slig’s birth would be about 10 months. Once it would be fully read to come out, the sack would break open. An alarm would go off. Any Vykker would run over to the Sack Room, hurry to the Slig, pick it up, and get it to the Slig Room where it would be nurtured until it would stop crying.

Not only these Sligs were born a different way, but also they were educated a different way. They would be taught never to use CQC (Close Quarters Combat). They were also taught never to work for evil, but never to work for justice either, and they learned that they should never get a job once they grow up. These things were required to develop in the slig’s minds, because studies said that they did not have the ability to do what all the normal sligs did. Since that was they way that the other sligs were born, they were known as the ‘Disabled Sligs’.

The Disabled Sligs certain looked normal on the outside, but they were much more different on the inside. First off, their eyesight was a bit poorer than most other sligs, and their organisms worked in many different ways. What kinds of different ways? I could go on about that forever and ever. The main skull was like an apple instead on a lemon-shaped skull. Finally, there was a huge difference with their digestive system. Instead of the bad stuff from the food going out the Rectum, they would simply get rid of the oils from the food by vomiting. Yes, vomiting. I know that you are simply not used to it, but for the Disabled Sligs it was kind of like a hobby.

For the population of the Disabled Sligs so far there are two hundred and thirty four of them. But very soon, there will be two hundred thirty five.
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  #2  
07-02-2005, 11:00 AM
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nice story Sliguy101! it's interessting...I want to know and read more! Pleaze can you send some more in soon?

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  #3  
07-02-2005, 11:27 AM
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Thats a cool and kinda weird story u got there
Can we see more?
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  #4  
07-02-2005, 12:11 PM
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This looks good, and it's hooked my interest.
I can't wait to read more.

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  #5  
07-02-2005, 12:52 PM
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Must read more! i love the prolouge.
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  #6  
07-02-2005, 01:27 PM
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This fic looks good! I look forward to hte next bit. A very interesting and original concept too.
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  #7  
07-03-2005, 07:56 AM
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LOL thanx for the comments everybody!
But I got bad news, and bad news only. I saved the first chapter on my own computer back at home. Now that I'm on vacation, the chapter didn't get to my laptop. Now I have to wait about ten days until I can post the next chapter.

But there is one thing I can do. I could post some kind of info and literature about the story. That might work.
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  #8  
07-03-2005, 09:10 AM
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Nice story, Sliguy! I love the concept of it-it's very different and original. It's a shame that you can't post the next part for 10 days-and you got so many comments on this one, too. Anyway, the only error I could point out is that 'organisms' should probably be 'organs'. Other than that, the story sounds very promising.
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  #9  
07-03-2005, 12:52 PM
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Ten days, eh?
...
Okay.
Let's have some of that background literature, then.

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  #10  
07-04-2005, 07:42 AM
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Okay, then.

SPECIAL BACKROUND INFORMATION

-It takes place in the Muthos. But other than that, it takes place inside a lab.

-This was going to be a secret, but I'm putting Fren into the story (Fren is from my first Oddworld fan-fiction 'Under the Moons').

-I'm sorry to tell this, but Abe and Munch won't be in this story. But I have plenty other characters to hook your interest.

I think that's all I'll tell you guys for now. Stick around and don't let this thread die, okay?
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  #11  
07-04-2005, 10:27 AM
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Don't worry we won't let it die, unless we get no new chapters, grr! Joking, but where is Muthos, and who is Fren (I haven't read or heard of your old fic, so I could probably do with a link to it)
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  #12  
07-04-2005, 11:18 AM
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*puts thread on life support*

No Abe or Munch, eh?
I'm not complaining. Making Abe and Munch main characters in fan fics kills originality. Mentions here and there I can stand, but relying too heavily can make a story ... bleh.

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  #13  
07-04-2005, 01:45 PM
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Did I say Muthos!? I meant Mudos. Silly me

You could just look in the search and type in 'Under the Moons'.
My first wasn't finished. My first ACTUALLY finished one was 'Slaga's Story'.

Okay. How about some character bios?

Mumlo:
The last Disabled Slig of his kind. He was shy, just like the other ones of his kind. For about a third of his life he was raised by a female Vykker. She died when Mumlo was eleven. Shortly after the death of the female Vykker, he was put into care of a mudokkon named Fren. When at the age of seventeen, he'll really be in for a suprise.

Last edited by sliguy101; 07-04-2005 at 02:42 PM..
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  #14  
07-10-2005, 06:43 PM
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Okay, I finally have the first chapter in.


Chapter One

Somewhere a few yards away from the Sack Room, there was a room known as the Experimenting Room. This was the only room that had the alarm going off. Right now, there were only three Vykkers. Two of them were having coffee, and the other one wasn’t even a worker at all. That one Vykker was incredibly old, and it was a she. The two Vykkers didn’t even pay attention to her until now.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Asked one of the Vykkers.

“I’m waiting for my husband Turavitz to come here.” Replied the female Vykker.

“Is that true?”

“Yes it. He told me that I should come here and see how he does his job. He told me to wait here until he comes.”

There was a short silence. Then the Vykkers just went on with their conversation, pretending that the female Vykker didn’t even exist.

Twenty minutes have passed, and yet the Vykkers still thought that she wasn’t there. Turavitz didn’t even come yet. The female Vykker, who is now sleeping drifted off into another one of her crazy dreams. In about two hours the conversation had ended and they Vykkers had now left the room. At the unexpected moment, Turavitz finally came in.

“Sorry I’m late, Wurmea.” He said.

He found her sleeping.

‘By Odd’s name. I’m that late?’ Turavitz thought.

Turavitz walked over to her walk shook her as hard as he could. Finally, she woke up.

“It’s about time you got here.” Wurmea said in a drowsy voice.

Turavitz led Wurmea to a window. Outside it was the Sack Room. It was fully made of metal, and it wasn’t very well lit. On the walls stood about twenty sacks. But only one was about to birth. Both of them heard an announcement.

“Self Destruct will commence in three minutes.” It said.

“Self Destruct!? How is that possible?” Asked Turavitz.

The factory started to rumble. A clock in the room was counting down three minutes. They both heard screaming. Both of them quickly ran out the door and started their way out of the factory.

"Okay, Turavitz. What is going on!?" Asked Wurmea in agony.

"I....I don't know!" Replied Turavitz in an angry voice.

"Whatever it is I don't like it."

"Well don't look at me! I'm not responsible for this mess!"

All of the Oddworldians in the factory started to run and scream. The only two words to describe this were "Absolute Pandemonium".

Meanwhile, in the Sack Room, a bizarre-looking sack was shaking at a rappid rate, like a tiny fly trying to get out of a Spider's web. In the matter of a few moments, the sack became loose. It reveled a small, Crawling Slig that was crying as loud as it could. It was getting scared because of all the comotion. The Crawling Slig looked at the numbers slowly going down on the self-destruct board.

20-19-18-17-16-15-14-13-12-11-10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1

TO BE CONTINUED
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  #15  
07-11-2005, 03:01 AM
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Great, well written chapter! What will happen to the labs, the Vykkers and the Sig (who I presume is Mumlo). I look forward to chapter 2!
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  #16  
07-11-2005, 03:23 PM
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Chapter Two

Apparently, Wurmea and Turavitz didn’t get out in time. They were both blown away, with Turavitz getting a huge impact and Wurmea getting a small one. The ones that got out just stood near the demolished structure, not lifting a finger to help the others.

The structure and blown away. Pieces of it came flying everywhere along with bodies. Some of the bodies weren’t even (as I say) fully put together. Still, the workers that got out stood still. Now there was just smoke and a little bit of fire.

“Should we get help?” Asked one of the workers.

There was silence for about fifteen seconds. Then another worker beside the one that spoke made a reply.

“No.” He said. “We might as well leave them.”

All of the workers just walked back to their homes. The odd thing about all this was that none of them had huge adrenaline for the explosion. Maybe they didn’t even have emotions of feelings. Since the beginning they worked in the factory, they no longer had a life of excitement. Most of them just looked at the Sack Room so they could check on the sligs, or just go to the deep underground caves of Necrum Mines, get sacks, and deliver them over to the Company for the Disabled Sligs. That’s about it. Also, the Vykkers and Glukkons had to work late most of the time. Sometimes, they even did it until three in the morning, and then would have to get up at six and do it all over again. Finally, the boss of the company said that they could not be fired by just awkwardly doing something. It had to be accidental. If not, he would not fire them. That is the Company of the Disabled Sligs policy #159.

Meanwhile, in the burnt destruction of this company, Wurmea woke up in small pain. She moaned and got up to her feet. When she saw what she was sitting next to, she screamed. It was a male Vykker that literally lost his head. She calmed down after a while. Suddenly, she looked at the Vykker’s body. It had a nametag on, and it had this name printed in bold, capital letters:

Turavitz

“Oh no. Oh no! OH NOOOOOO!!!” Wurmea hollered.

She immediately fell to the ground and went into tears. She couldn’t believe it. The love of her life is dead. If you know how painful it is to lose a loved one, and times that feeling by four, you would know how she feels about this.

“It can be! We had our 34th Anniversary only a few weeks ago!” She sobbed.

Wurmea must had been crying for over three minutes until she heard a low cry. She quickly got up to her feet. The crying was coming from an unknown area. Wurmea walked towards the cry. She found a little baby slig that was scrambling in the hot dirt. Wurmea quickly picked the slig and rocked it in her arms.

“Poor thing.” She said. “I bet you really gotten hurt. Now that my husband is dead, I suppose you’re the only thing I’ve got.”

The baby slig used its tiny arm to touch Wurmea’s face. Its hand slowly moved down her face until it got to Wurmea’s chin.

“Mama.” It said in a low voice.

Wurmea smiled. A few tears had gone down her eyes as well.

“Yes. I am you’re mama.” She replied. “I shall name you Mumlo, just so I won’t have to think all that hard. And guess what. You’re named after your great great great great great great grandfather.”

There was silence for over five minutes. Finally, Wurmea carried Mumlo as she walked back to her home.
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  #17  
07-12-2005, 02:37 AM
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Good chapter. I never thought I'd say this but I feel sorry for that Vykker Wurmea. You wrote it all well, with the stuff about the disabled Sligs, them not helping the crash victims, and Wurmea' thoughts, feelings and actions. Good chapter, keep it up!
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  #18  
07-12-2005, 09:55 PM
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Great chapter...it was so sad. I, too, have to admit that I really feel bad for Wurmea as well. This kinda changes how the reader feels about the industrialists and it's done in a very good way, too. Nice work!
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  #19  
07-13-2005, 09:27 AM
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Intersting story so far ... I never considered vykkers to have any nurturing instincts.
Keep it up.

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  #20  
07-13-2005, 11:17 AM
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Chapter Three

The first thing that Wurmea did was proposing a funeral to her now-dead husband. Luckily it didn’t take that long to get the whole blowup-of-tears thing out of her system. The second thing she did was taking a close look at Mumlo. He was just lying on the kitchen table shaking a tiny bit. It was a little cold outside, and Mumlo was only first born. So Wurmea pick him up and cuddled him a little bit more.

Before I go any further, I want to describe Wurmea’s house. It was a one-story hut that was about the size of a cabin in a forest. Of course, people didn’t really call her home a hut, because the outside was made of metal. But the inside gave you an exact replica of a hut. That really confused people, so normally, people and herself just decided to call it a hut. A forest filled with unfriendly creatures surrounded the hut. But at least in front of the hut there was a dirt road that led to a small little town that goes by the name of ‘Getruzy’. It was only three miles away, but the problem was that Wurmea didn’t have a vehicle to get there. The average person could walk a mile in twenty minutes, so it would take about an hour just to get there.

If you were to open the door of Wurmea’s hut, the first thing you would see is just a narrow hallway that had two doors. One led to Wurmea’s room, and the other led to Turavitz’s room. But now that he was dead, it is now Mumlo’s room.
If you get through the hallway, you would see a small kitchen to your right. The kitchen contains a sink, a small hole that is used for storing food, a table containing four chairs, and a counter that was near the sink that would be used for stacking dirty dishes. To the left there would be the living room. All it contained was a sofa made out of sticks, a rocking chair, and a fireplace that was used for cold nights. That’s it about the house. Yes, it only had four rooms, each one containing only one tiny window.

The kitchen had no oven, as you discovered that it didn’t have the word ‘oven’ in the description of the kitchen. Wurmea got food just by killing any small creature in the forest around her or just going to the supermarket nearby. It was mostly Paramite Pie and a glass of Soulstorm Brew for Breakfast, Scrab Legs and a glass of Fuzzle Juice for Lunch, and the Slurg Surprise with a glass of Blended Meat for Supper.

In the backyard, well, it was deserted. All you could see was the forest. It was kind of the same with the front yard, except for the dirt road. It was really boring by day. But at night, the light of the moons of Abe and Munch shimmered through the trees and made a beautiful dancing light across the hut. It was just as beautiful as looking at looking at a lifetime supply of crystals.

I’m sorry if this chapter was only about the description of the hut. But in the next chapter Mumlo’s life with Wurmea is going to begin.
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  #21  
07-13-2005, 11:26 AM
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There's nothing wrong with describing the setting, nothing at all, it helps tremendously, so I applaud you on another good chapter. After all, fics don't have to be action action action, you can take your time about it, as that's what the truly classic fanfics have. So a great chapter.
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  #22  
07-14-2005, 08:05 PM
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Yeah, I agree with Munch's Master. Some of my buddies on the other forums tend to think that a story has to have non-stop action in order for it to be good, but that is not the case when writing a fanfic-it is to have a compelling story that will grab the interest of the reader. This one definitely does that and does it well, too.
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  #23  
07-15-2005, 08:42 AM
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I'd like to second the opinions stated above, and again offer my encouragement.
With a setting described in detail like you've provided, it helps the reader picture out how and where events play out as they read.

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