My Rat Died Eight Months Ago, And I Haven't Gotten Over It.

ANN NEELY · #1 06-01-2004, 12:15 PM

My Rat, Stara, died in October

, and I still cry really hard about it.
I really don't know what to do to stop feeling so depressed about it. Can you think of anything.

P.S, About everyday I feel her presence near me, like her spirit is still here

. Am I going nuts?

oddguy · #2 06-01-2004, 12:24 PM

Having a pet die is really tough, but you have to move on. Crying over her won't bring her back...I'm sorry, but it's true. Your rat is in a better place...just think that.

-oddguy

ANN NEELY · #3 06-01-2004, 12:42 PM

I know it won't bring her back, we were just really close. She was like a best friend (No, wait..she WAS!!). She would follow me around outside, wait for me to come home from school (So my mother tells me), and talk to me (In that strange clicking chittering language that rodents have). My ferrets and dogs are no match to how smart she was (I'm not sayin' I love Stara more than my ferrets or dogs). I just wish she hadn't gotten sick. I just cry because I miss her so badly.

BTW, does anyone think I'm nuts because I feel like she's here as a spirit?

Big_Bro_Slig222 · #4 06-01-2004, 01:40 PM

I flipped when my eel died....it was just a fish, but damn, he rocked.

Joe the Intern · #5 06-01-2004, 02:56 PM

My triops just died. Damn, they were cool. I must've taken care of them badly or something.

Facsimile · #6 06-01-2004, 07:26 PM

My idea is that you grow up and get over it. My cat which our family had had for 18 years died in January. I had grown up with him and he had been there my whole life. I was very sad the rest of that day, but the next I got on with my life. I found all his pictures and made them into a collage and I had no trouble getting over his death. Nothing lasts forever... get used to it.

ClaireBear · #7 06-01-2004, 09:32 PM

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My idea is that you grow up and get over it. My cat which our family had had for 18 years died in January. I had grown up with him and he had been there my whole life. I was very sad the rest of that day, but the next I got on with my life. I found all his pictures and made them into a collage and I had no trouble getting over his death. Nothing lasts forever... get used to it.

Mr Sensitivity!

First and foremost losing a pet IS a great strain... whether it be a dog, cat, eel or rat. As humans we tend to humanise the animals around us (there's a word for it... it slips my mind... your challenge if you wish to accept it I guess!

) so to lose them is like losing a friend or even a family member.

Everyone deals with loss in a different way... some of us like Facsimile bounce back after a day of making a collage... others like you and I feel the need to weep readily for months after... not one way of coping with death is right or wrong. Eventually the pain will subside though... sharing your thoughts, pain and feelings is the first step to healing... don't be ashamed of feeling the way you do, you are not alone.

I really believe that those we are close to can still be with us for the rest of our lives... we can "feel" their presence. i'm unsure whether this is their spirit or ghost or whether its just situations reminding us of them but either way... I don't think you're stupid or a freak for feeling like your pet's spirit is with you... those kinds of comforts are sometimes very important in recovery.

End of long drawn out comfort ramble!

oddguy · #8 06-02-2004, 01:00 AM

I think that was the best way to reply, CB! Well Done!

I myself was sad for months after the loss of my cat. He was sooo cool.

-oddguy

Fuzzles! · #9 06-02-2004, 02:48 AM

I'm sorry about your rat passing away. But he is in a better place now. And we keep our loved ones who have left us (both human or otherwise) alive in our hearts by remembering how wonderful they are and how they touched our lives.

Facsimile had a great idea though, why don't you make a collage of pictures of Stara? Then you can look at it whenever you feel sad and smile and be happy for the wonderful time you did share together.

Mojo · #10 06-02-2004, 10:48 AM

I had a rat once. But then I went on vacation, and the person who was keeping after her forgot to add a soft layer of hay. So the rat had to walk on woodchips, which destroyed the soles of her little feet.

As a result, the critter never walked. And the result of that was, well, she became a square rat. Serious. She got this disease, and her whole side was filled with some sort of fluid. Doc said he couldn't do anything about it, and a few weeks later she died.
Threw her into the dumpster...

No really, I was sad, but we had it coming...

***Nate*** · #11 06-02-2004, 12:50 PM

shame. did you ever talk to the rat-sitter again?

Once when my family went on holiday (long before I was born) they left this special slow-release food stick in the fish pond. When they came home they realised that 'slow-release' meant slow in comparison to glacier creep. It was still completely solid in the pond, next to the skeleton of my sister's fish (goldy) and my brother's fish (blacky) looking healthy, though slightly fatter than before.

ClaireBear · #12 06-02-2004, 09:13 PM

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shame. did you ever talk to the rat-sitter again?

Once when my family went on holiday (long before I was born) they left this special slow-release food stick in the fish pond. When they came home they realised that 'slow-release' meant slow in comparison to glacier creep. It was still completely solid in the pond, next to the skeleton of my sister's fish (goldy) and my brother's fish (blacky) looking healthy, though slightly fatter than before.

People should take after fish!

When i forget to do the shopping.... I'm gonna eat my sister! Not a lot of meat on her but its better than nothing!!!!

The Red Muse · #13 06-03-2004, 02:35 AM

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I Threw her into the dumpster...

Great! Go Alpha!

*dances*

Fuzzles! · #14 06-03-2004, 06:33 AM

:

Once when my family went on holiday (long before I was born) they left this special slow-release food stick in the fish pond. When they came home they realised that 'slow-release' meant slow in comparison to glacier creep. It was still completely solid in the pond, next to the skeleton of my sister's fish (goldy) and my brother's fish (blacky) looking healthy, though slightly fatter than before.

That's exactly why I get a trusted friend to feed my fishies...oh and I pre-measure out their daily food in those 7-day a week pill organizers..so all they have to do is open the lid for that day and drop the food in. Most people WAY overfeed their fish.

TheRaisin · #15 06-03-2004, 04:35 PM

Wow, ClaireBear. I just checked out this thread. Your initial reply may have been the sweetest, most helpful thing I have ever read on this site. I don't know why, but that just sounded like really good advice. I wasn't even sad in the first place, and that just made me feel all fuzzy.

All I can say, Ann, is that it will pass. Eventually it'll stop hurting and you'll remember, as they say, "the good times". After a while, you won't really think about it. It will kind of set itself into a corner of your mind, and you'll every once in a while think back on it and it'll make you happy, believe it or not, like looking at an old photo. That's how it happened with me, anyway. I've had to give away a dog because of behavior problems, I've had a cat dissappear, and I've had a gerbil die of natural causes. It definitely gets easier as you grow up. So. I hope that helps.

ClaireBear · #16 06-03-2004, 09:33 PM

:

Wow, ClaireBear. I just checked out this thread. Your initial reply may have been the sweetest, most helpful thing I have ever read on this site. I don't know why, but that just sounded like really good advice. I wasn't even sad in the first place, and that just made me feel all fuzzy.

All I can say, Ann, is that it will pass. Eventually it'll stop hurting and you'll remember, as they say, "the good times". After a while, you won't really think about it. It will kind of set itself into a corner of your mind, and you'll every once in a while think back on it and it'll make you happy, believe it or not, like looking at an old photo. That's how it happened with me, anyway. I've had to give away a dog because of behavior problems, I've had a cat dissappear, and I've had a gerbil die of natural causes. It definitely gets easier as you grow up. So. I hope that helps.

Thanks Raisin.

Your sentiment is also lovely... a very mature perception... I'm sure that Ann will take some comfort in knowing she's not alone and has all of these wonderful people here to comfort her.

Fez · #17 06-04-2004, 12:57 AM

Cremate the body.

ClaireBear · #18 06-04-2004, 01:06 AM

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Cremate the body.

Like I said... Ann will be comforted to know there are at least SOME sensitive mature posters here!

Fez · #19 06-04-2004, 01:09 AM

What? That way you wont dig it up when your gardening *Flashback of past experience*...........

TheRaisin · #20 06-04-2004, 04:13 AM

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What? That way you wont dig it up when your gardening *Flashback of past experience*...........

Ah, at last vee come to zee root of zee prchroblem!

But... this really isn't a thread for making jokes. This is serious. Unless you were being serious, in which case... ewgh. o_O

ANN NEELY · #21 06-04-2004, 01:34 PM

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Cremate the body.

I wouldn't and can't do that. She's buried out in the yard, and it's been that way since last October. I wouldn't do that anyway. I wouldn't have her burned. Not even if she IS dead and can't feel pain.
She's buried in our side yard with a headstone that says,
"If tears could build a staircase, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again."
We have buried all my rodents in small boxes taped shut with masking tape. We have at least, 256 gerbils (The gerbils had names, but there are too many to name) and two rats (Stara and Zelda) at eternal peace in our yard, and we won't dig them up when we're gardening. Our garden is on the other side of the house.

TheRaisin · #22 06-04-2004, 06:13 PM

...256 gerbils? Would it be a bad idea to ask the story behind this?

Majic · #23 06-04-2004, 06:35 PM

I hope the Asian couple that moved into my old house never did any digging around the corner or our backyard. Or ever will. Got a couple of dead hamsters in shoe boxes back there.

EDIT: Oh, and am I the only one who has come across the idea of locating an ancient Native American burial ground and ressurecting the dead rat into a living form of evil?

ANN NEELY · #24 06-05-2004, 07:07 AM

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...256 gerbils? Would it be a bad idea to ask the story behind this?

Well, not all at once. But all together, I'd say there are about that many give or take a few. A graveyard of black, gray, and cinnamon gerbils. It's kinda weird.
For about five years I used to breed gerbils, then give them to classrooms as pets or give them to pet stores in exchange for gerbil food. We would keep a few sometimes because I got attached to them.
Man, I miss those baby gerbils...
Ok, here's a pic of Stara posing with a couple Poke'mon figures (Pikachu and Pichu). They're all rodents, after all.

TheRaisin · #25 06-05-2004, 10:29 AM

A gerbil breeder, eh? Wow. That's pretty cool.

Aww, she so cute! I shoulda gotten a rat instead of a gerbil.

Fuzzles! · #26 06-07-2004, 04:47 AM

Oh she is so cute!!!!! My old roomie had a rat and I just loved her to pieces!!!!!

I have a few parrots buried in my backyard (I do large parrot rescue and sometimes they are very old and very ill). So yes I hope when I sell my house that nobody goes digging too deep!!!

a flock of seagulls · #27 06-07-2004, 08:31 AM

you loved her to... pieces? wow ever heard of a thing called "not hugging too much" j-k. anyways you will get over it. just like how i got over my ex-gf living across an entire ocean. well g2g

Mac the Janitor · #28 06-07-2004, 08:52 AM

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...256 gerbils? Would it be a bad idea to ask the story behind this?

I'm guessing they multiply like rabbits.

*DA-DUM CHHH*

But seriously folks, losing a pet sucks...but the best idea would be to just move on...I mean, think of all this time in your life you're wasting being sad that you'll never get back, ever. Cherish the present, don't dwell on the past! It's harsh, I know, but it's the truth. Take it from me, I've wasted hundreds of hours of my limited life just moping around because of things in the past.

ANN NEELY · #29 06-07-2004, 01:01 PM

Time is an illusion. There is no past or future, there's just now.

***Nate*** · #30 06-08-2004, 12:47 PM

There is no spoon