See, he gets it. That's how you respond to everything here. A blunt, capitalised rebuttal.
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I can sum up everyone's feelings about you in one sentence: We don't want you to go, but if you choose to stay you're going to have to treat other members with respect, and that includes posting in the way that they want you to post.
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I think a good few people here do want him to go.
And I assure you everyone here has earned a great deal of respect from me for trying to deal with you patiently.
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Yes it is.
So why do you have the right to demand special treatment when you just got here?
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QFT
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We see that you have potential to be a good member and are trying to teach you how to fit in and express yourself clearly!
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We have to use that as the go-to line for all newbies who make a scene. Though I think this one's a lost cause.
Actually, we should compile a list of trainwreck welcome threads, so we can link new guys to them. "Here, these are some things you should avoid doing. Welcome."