Oddworld Forums > Zulag Three > Fan Corner


 
Thread Tools
 
  #121  
09-09-2004, 08:20 AM
T-nex's Avatar
T-nex
Frosties and Buttsex
 
: Aug 2003
: Denmark
: 4,811
Blog Entries: 80
Rep Power: 27
T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)

WE LOVE YOU SPLAT! MARRY US!!! No! Marry ME!!! YEAH!

Whats gonna happen to Aaron?
__________________
Wil siger (17:13):
Hey, I have massive nuts. :@

============


Reply With Quote
  #122  
09-09-2004, 08:38 AM
Software Bug's Avatar
Software Bug
Formerly Tim Cottenham
 
: Jun 2004
: Groningen, Netherlands
: 1,068
Blog Entries: 1
Rep Power: 22
Software Bug  (308)Software Bug  (308)Software Bug  (308)Software Bug  (308)

GO SPLAT!!
MORE MORE!!
__________________
*Working on all the dead links around here, stay tuned!*

Throw around some Mudokons in my game Flying Mudokons!

Need images for your Oddworld fan project? Visit The Oddworld Vector Gallery!

Reply With Quote
  #123  
09-09-2004, 09:42 AM
Splat's Avatar
Splat
Chameleonic Lifeforms, No Thanks!
 
: Oct 2002
: Merrie olde Englande
: 4,539
Blog Entries: 62
Rep Power: 27
Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)

T, if i told you that the story would loose its entire sense of cliche (and anyway, we hardly know each other *giggle*).

More coming sooner or later!

(wow, 2 totally irrelevent posts in one hour on the same thread!)



The following chapter goes here, where I'm putting it now, in the run of things. I've posted it before but the forums seem to have deleted it so I'm editing it into this post. It's confusing but this is in the right place now so there you go. Ignore all this.


Chapter 15, Battle on the Plain of Gopemi

Outside the factory, a vast army of all kinds of sligs, slogs and various other nasty creatures was gathering outside the factory. Ranks of heavily armoured mugs, hoards of sligs and big-bro-sligs, rows of flying sligs all refuelling, eating or loading weapons, ready for a long battle.
Many miles to the Southeast a solitary mudokon jogged determinedly onward, a small green metallic ball clutched in his hand, a small bottle of nerve gas and a "long distance cattle prod" stuffed in his loincloth with a compass clutched in the other hand. He had been jogging all day but possessed the endurance of his species and knew he could comfortably go the rest of the night and most of the next day at his current speed. He smiled confidently to himself: There was no way they could find him now.
The plain of Gopemi was a large empty stretch of grass. Nothing lived there, no trees were dotted over the plain, no animals stirred the fresh green grass. People knew Gopemi was a word from the ancient Glukkon language but no one remembered what it meant; there was a myth that a terrible battle had taken place there and death had sunk into the soil, scaring away any plants or animals that went near it. The business-crazed glukkons scoffed at this, saying it was all rubbish. There had been no move to build there, despite the perfect conditions for it.
To the north, east and west were sparsely wooded slopes of grass covered in short red bushes that seeped poison when touched. To the south a massive forest spread out over the earth like a green blanket.

It was the day following Aaron’s escape and it was drawing into late afternoon. Fatigue was finally starting to seep into Aaron’s muscles as he slowly picked his way down a light slope, covered in stunted red bushes. He’d learnt, rather late, that the red pus they emitted when touched was pretty painful. He was less than eager to touch one again.
He was quite away down when he came to a sudden ridge where he stopped and gazed down below him. At the bottom of the slope he was on was a wide unnaturally empty plain that stretched out for miles in all directions. But beyond that was a vast forest that disappeared over the horizon many miles to the south. His heart leapt: he was nearly there!
He looked back over his shoulder up the slope he had just climbed. For a second he stopped to think about Bill and that old Mud who’d helped him so much. He hoped they were ok.
Suddenly he spotted a speck appear over the top of the ridge. He squinted at it as several more appeared around it. They were floating in the air above the grass. They were too big for birds… A familiar whirring sound reached his ears and he swore loudly: flying sligs! He turned and ran as fast as he could down the slope, ignoring the stings as those red plants sprayed poison over him… Moments later the rest of the sligs army came pouring over the hill.

"Scouts say they’ve seen him sir."
"Where?"
"About 2 thirds of the way down the hill sir."
"Let’s get him then. Hurry up the army, we’ve gotta catch him before he reaches the forest.
"Yes sir."

"GOTCHA!!!" Aaron spun round and squeezed the nozzle down. The flying slig screamed and swung away as a large dose of nerve gas was blasted into his face. That slig had broken forward from the rest, Aaron was still ahead of the army and just reaching the bottom of the slope; that plain looked a lot bigger from down here. He gritted his teeth and forced his aching muscles and heavily stung legs to carry him forward.

"What’s going on?"
"There’s no way I’m setting one foot onto that plain man, you know what they say about it.
The B-B grunted, shot the guy in the head and turned to the rest of his squadron, "Any one else got any objections?" No one spoke; the B-B turned and ran across the grass, steadily catching up with Aaron.

Aaron yelped as a bullet narrowly missed his hand. He spun round and sprayed a load of gas into the face of a B-B-Slig who yelled and dropped to his metal knees, clutching at his eyes. Aaron froze, staring in horror at the massive army pouring down the slope and across the plain towards him. He stared down at the small green ball in his hand. A huddle of sligs firing at him made him jump; he spun round again and ran onwards.

He drained away the rest of the nerve gas on some more flying sligs. But now the meetles had made it down onto the flat stretch of grass. He spun round and ran as fast as he could, throwing the empty bottle over his shoulder. He wasn’t watching when it hit the head of a slig on the back of a meetle who collapsed over unconscious, dragging his ride over with him. The meetle spun round and crashed into the one next to it. The two locked together and the slig riding the second one panicked, smacking desperately at the riderless meetle. He accidentally hit the weapon’s trigger and it fired, hitting his owns weapon, which exploded. A crater suddenly appeared in the plains where several meetles and a lot of sligs had been a second earlier.

The cattle prod evidently wasn’t intended for long-term use because the energy gauge was hovering near zero and it was no longer frying attackers, just stunning them for a few seconds. Aaron had maybe another 5000 metres to run but his muscles were failing him. Bullets were whizzing past his face, grenades making small craters in the grass around him and he was about to loose his second weapon.
Aaron yelled in pain and dropped the gun: his luck had finally run out and a bullet had struck him in the shoulder. Clutching the Orb tightly, he forced his screaming limbs to carry him faster.
Another bullet hit him in the back, sinking through flesh. A grenade narrowly missed him, the heat singing the skin of his leg. He stumbled onwards, gasping with pain and exhaustion.
He was bleeding heavily, the left side of his body was badly burnt and his limbs seemed to be made of lead. A bullet flew past his right ankle, scraping the skin off the bone.
He was so close now. But his right ear seemed to have been shot off; blood was spurting from the wound. Leaking down his limp arm from his shoulder, running out of a wound on his back, trailing around his blistered feet. He was so close to the trees now. He closed his eyes. And suddenly he felt a shadow cast over his back. Darkness rested on his eyelids. He opened them.

"Sir, he got in!"
"What?"
"He’s dissapeared, none of our men will go into those trees. You know what they say about what’s in there!"
"…"
"He was half dead when he got in though sir, blood everywhere. They shot him up well before he got in."
"Well, that’s something. Have messengers sent to the other side of the forest, tell them to look out for anyone they don’t recognise, have em searched. We’ve got to get that thing back!"
"Yes sir."

Aaron stumbled forward through the trees. It was so quiet in there, so cool. So relaxing…
But the Orb was still glowing in his hand and until it was safe…
Aaron caught site of a small wooden hut though the trees. He stumbled towards it and as he approached the door, a tall mudokon slowly swung it open. He spotted Aaron and ushered him through the door, stepping back into the hut. Aaron dragged his bloody body afterwards.
He felt soft wood and dry grass beneath his feet. He slipped over and landed on his knees. Slowly he turned his head up to the mudokon before him. With a rather weak grin he raised his good hand and pressed the Orb into that of the guy in front of him, who took the Orb and grabbed Aaron’s hand, "Well done my friend, you have done what no other mudokon could. You have brought our people freedom."
Aaron smiled again and then choked; he flopped to his hands and knees, hacking up blood and mucus and vomit. After several seconds he stopped and said quietly: "They used to tell me… death was… only the beginning."
He collapsed forward into the rapidly widening puddle of his own blood on the floor and never breathed again.




So ends Aarons part in things. "The Quest for the Orb" will continue in part 3: The Naturalist.
__________________
Oddworld novel: The Despicable. Original fiction: Small Worlds.


Last edited by Splat; 12-23-2004 at 01:26 PM.. : Screw up with the forums
Reply With Quote
  #124  
09-09-2004, 10:00 AM
Software Bug's Avatar
Software Bug
Formerly Tim Cottenham
 
: Jun 2004
: Groningen, Netherlands
: 1,068
Blog Entries: 1
Rep Power: 22
Software Bug  (308)Software Bug  (308)Software Bug  (308)Software Bug  (308)

:
(wow, 2 totally irrelevent posts in one hour on the same thread!)
Yeah youre famous!!

(or the tale is very good)
__________________
*Working on all the dead links around here, stay tuned!*

Throw around some Mudokons in my game Flying Mudokons!

Need images for your Oddworld fan project? Visit The Oddworld Vector Gallery!

Reply With Quote
  #125  
09-09-2004, 10:30 AM
Havoc's Avatar
Havoc
Cheesecake Apocalypse
 
: May 2003
: Netherlands
: 9,976
Blog Entries: 71
Rep Power: 31
Havoc  (4126)Havoc  (4126)Havoc  (4126)Havoc  (4126)Havoc  (4126)Havoc  (4126)Havoc  (4126)Havoc  (4126)Havoc  (4126)Havoc  (4126)Havoc  (4126)

Nah, its the second :P
__________________
The Oddworld Wiki

When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion.

Reply With Quote
  #126  
11-12-2004, 01:20 PM
Splat's Avatar
Splat
Chameleonic Lifeforms, No Thanks!
 
: Oct 2002
: Merrie olde Englande
: 4,539
Blog Entries: 62
Rep Power: 27
Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)
Wired

Finally back! I wrote this chapter ages ago and now I'm gonna post it! HUZZAH!!!


Part 3, the Naturalist


Chapter 1,

In southern Glucose there was a factory that people said was the most secure this side of the ocean. Two days walk Southwest of that factory was the plain of Gopemi were a great battle was once fought over a millennia ago. On the south side of the plain was a vast forest stretching as far as the eye could see in every direction. A short walk into the thick trees was a small wooden hut.
A trail of blood led from the plain through the forest and through the open door of the hut, up to the body of a dead mudokon, slumped on the floor. Standing before the body was a tall mudokon called Graham.
Very few people knew how Graham had ended up living in a hut in a forest in southern Glucose. Let alone a forest considered evil by almost all who knew of its existence nearby. But live there he did, for who-knows-how-many-years. And he knew why sligs feared the forest.
Graham looked down sadly at the body of the young mudokon that lay on the floor before him. That kid wasn’t the first. There was a legend around the Orb that said all who held the Orb when it was in the grip of the Glukkons died shortly afterwards. No one to ever have held it before had died within days of loosing it. And now he gripped in his fingers.
Graham whispered a quick prayer for the boy, then he stepped around the body (ancient people had believed it a terrible taboo to step over dead body and they had been right about so many things) and went outside and raised his hand into the air and muttered a few words from an ancient language. After a few seconds a group of birds fluttered down towards him and formed a ring. Energy bonds flew from the birds, creating a glowing portal. Graham leaned towards it and whispered, "I have the Orb. The boy is dead… Bullet wounds, in his shoulder and back and legs… It seems he cracked… Oh, well… I know, I will; Odd knows he deserves it… I’m going to, just to the other side of the forest… Yes, I will… I know the legends but someone has to… Ok, you’ve been a great support to me if it does end like that… Me to. Bye." Graham turned away and the birds fluttered into the trees. Then he turned around, took a spade from the side of his house and began digging.

An old shaman stood in a small room with blank iron walls, ceiling and floor with no visible entrance or exit. In front of him was a flat circle of light, floating in thin air. The old mud was right against up against it and seemed to be speaking into it, "… What? What happened to him? …I always knew the risks. The army left in your direction barely 8 hours after he left… It wasn’t Bill who told them, I promise you that. But it appears I made a mistake myself in overlooking the prisoner next to Bill… Give Aaron the proper respects… We need to get someone else to take it across, any ideas? …Oh! Well. You know what could happen to you… If you’re sure. I’ll be sorry to loose you if the curse stuff is true… Ok, I’ll miss you then if…" The old mud stepped away from the portal as it closed and sighed. A few seconds later he vanished from the room without a trace that he’d ever been there.



It's shorter than what i usually write, i know. But this whole section is gonna be a trial to write, i basically have no ideas in what to do here. Ah well, I'll just get on with it and se how it goes, shall I?
__________________
Oddworld novel: The Despicable. Original fiction: Small Worlds.

Reply With Quote
  #127  
11-13-2004, 02:09 AM
T-nex's Avatar
T-nex
Frosties and Buttsex
 
: Aug 2003
: Denmark
: 4,811
Blog Entries: 80
Rep Power: 27
T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)

Yeah.... Whatever you'll write, it'll always please me! so get on with it! ^_^
__________________
Wil siger (17:13):
Hey, I have massive nuts. :@

============


Reply With Quote
  #128  
11-17-2004, 12:22 PM
Scrab Watcher's Avatar
Scrab Watcher
Boombat
 
: Aug 2004
: Ireland
: 212
Rep Power: 21
Scrab Watcher  (10)

Oh yeah! We have story! WOHOO! I missed this. Great Splat, lucky for you that you posted this or you'd have to meet my friend Mr. Machine-Gun. :P

Just kidding.

Really.
__________________
The voices in my head are having cat-fights!

Reply With Quote
  #129  
11-19-2004, 05:51 AM
Splat's Avatar
Splat
Chameleonic Lifeforms, No Thanks!
 
: Oct 2002
: Merrie olde Englande
: 4,539
Blog Entries: 62
Rep Power: 27
Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)

I believe a gulp is in order

Glad you guys botrh like this! (oh, and you kill me, i won't write anything else, so THERE)
__________________
Oddworld novel: The Despicable. Original fiction: Small Worlds.

Reply With Quote
  #130  
11-22-2004, 11:12 PM
Seargentbig's Avatar
Seargentbig
Sleg
 
: Apr 2003
: Australia
: 683
Rep Power: 23
Seargentbig  (10)

Hey! I'm back!
Sorry I haven't repied for so long, we've moved house and the comp was in a box.
I like the chapter. When is the next one?
__________________
Now complete with XBL gamertag for your pwning convenience.

Reply With Quote
  #131  
11-28-2004, 05:16 AM
Splat's Avatar
Splat
Chameleonic Lifeforms, No Thanks!
 
: Oct 2002
: Merrie olde Englande
: 4,539
Blog Entries: 62
Rep Power: 27
Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)

I'll try and have it by next weekend but I'm not actually supposed to be on the computer at all right now and I have my mock exams looming. Anyway, Christmas holidays in a few weeks so I should have time to write loads then (whether or not I do is another matter entirely). 27 DAYS TILL CHISTMAS
__________________
Oddworld novel: The Despicable. Original fiction: Small Worlds.

Reply With Quote
  #132  
11-30-2004, 10:15 AM
Splat's Avatar
Splat
Chameleonic Lifeforms, No Thanks!
 
: Oct 2002
: Merrie olde Englande
: 4,539
Blog Entries: 62
Rep Power: 27
Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)

My mum had pity! I typed this one up just now, hope all you like it! I think this ones quite good myself at least. I probably won't be able to write anything else for the next 2 weeks with exams and a steadily growing mountain of coursework (and if I do you must all be very nasty and tell me to stop wasting my time and go and revise!) Enjoy!


Chapter 2, Quest and Curse
As Graham prepared Aaron’s body for burial he tried his hardest to not think about what lay ahead for him. The curse on the Orb: every person to hold it when it was still in the hands of the glukkons was dead. Now it was lying on the table in the centre of his hut and his hands were slowly moving over the corpse of its previous bearer, smearing burial paint over its cold skin.
Black paint circled the multiple wounds on Aaron’s body: bullet wounds on his back, ankle, shoulder, head, the large burn up his left side: the marks of death. A network of thin, twisting lines connected these to large smudges over his heart, lungs and forehead: the points of life. Connecting these points was said to allow life to flow back to the wounds, granting a second life in the world beyond; ancient rituals and beliefs they were, but old traditions die hard, and well… there may have been some truth in them.
As much of his blood as possible had been drained – another important but not very pleasant ancient ritual! All that remained was the burial itself.
Graham carefully carried the body outside and lowered him into the hole he’d dug earlier and then, muttering a few words of last respect and such, began to fill the hole back in. Properly, he should put a stone over the top but he didn’t have a fully carved one handy, and he knew that he’d have to get across the forest as soon as possible, so he stood a smoothened section of log on top: a temporary alternative. He would fix a stone when he returned… if he returned…
No! He mustn’t think like that! He had to go whether he wanted to or not. What would his master say if he refused? And the life of the mud below him would have been wasted. Dammit: what was wrong with him? He should be feeling respect for this guy, not bitterness. It wasn’t this guy’s fault that he got landed with the Orb. It would have eventually come to him, Graham, either way. That was why he was here of course! Why he, himself had risked so much to escape years before. He’d never planned on waiting in the forest for so long. Why had his master waited so long to get a carrier?
"The pickings were slim, Graham."
"Wha?"
Graham spun around. The forest was empty…
Great, not only am I about to take on the most deadly quest of my life; I’m now going insane on top of it all.
He was way beyond his prime; he was growing old himself now, growing weaker.
"Not only in body, it seems."
Graham spun round again but the forest was still empty. There was no mistaking it. Someone was hearing his thoughts and making there own mind up about what he meant. "It’s not easy you know!" He yelled at the silent trees, "Every one of them has died, even this guy," He kicked a stone into the almost-filled pit and went on, "It’s not easy to set out with a-a-a thing that could be my death! Step out of my hut for what could be the last time?"
"EASY? YOU THINK IT WAS EASY FOR THE FIRST GREAT SHAMAN TO SIT ON A HILL AND WATCH VILLAGES HE’D BEEN IN HOURS EARLIER BURN AGAIN AND AGAIN? YOU THINK IT WAS EASY FOR THE SECOND GREAT ONE TO SIT DOWN AND MAKE AN OBJECT THAT HE KNEW WOULD KILL HIM? YOU THINK IT WAS EASY FOR THAT GUY IN FRONT OF YOU TO SET OUT TO YOU WHEN HE KNEW EVERY GLUKKON WITHIN 20 MILES WOULD BE AFTER HIM?? YOU THINK IT WAS EASY ON ME TO LEAVE MY HOME AND SNEAK INTO A TOP SECURITY BUILDING TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE TRYING TO GET SOMEONE TO GET THAT BL00DY BALL OUT OF HERE???"
Graham choked: "Master?"
The shadowy image of the old mudokon had appeared in front of him: "It’s never been easy Graham, not for you, me, Aaron, Bill or anyone else during this bl00y war. But someone has to do it and the only person there is you. Play your part in the legend of the Orb. I know you can Graham. It’s why I chose you over the thousand others in that place."
"But… so much has happened… you never told me about this then…"
"You knew all of the legend that you do now Graham, and you were more than willing to play the hero."
"Play the hero? That was ridiculous. Even then I knew I was being a fool."
"And you succeeded Graham. Sometimes you have to be the fool to succeed.Sometimes only the fool sees the true path."
"But I’ve learnt so much…" Graham half pleaded.
"You will find that in the run of things, knowledge is often worth very little. Be the fool Graham, just one more time." The image faded leaving Graham to finish Aaron’s burial alone.




Well?
__________________
Oddworld novel: The Despicable. Original fiction: Small Worlds.


Last edited by Splat; 11-30-2004 at 10:18 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #133  
11-30-2004, 10:38 AM
T-nex's Avatar
T-nex
Frosties and Buttsex
 
: Aug 2003
: Denmark
: 4,811
Blog Entries: 80
Rep Power: 27
T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)

Finally! ! Cool chapter! Go on with the next! Go splat! hmmm... i've been waiting so long for this. ^_^
__________________
Wil siger (17:13):
Hey, I have massive nuts. :@

============


Reply With Quote
  #134  
11-30-2004, 11:20 AM
Software Bug's Avatar
Software Bug
Formerly Tim Cottenham
 
: Jun 2004
: Groningen, Netherlands
: 1,068
Blog Entries: 1
Rep Power: 22
Software Bug  (308)Software Bug  (308)Software Bug  (308)Software Bug  (308)

hey cool chapter splat!!
__________________
*Working on all the dead links around here, stay tuned!*

Throw around some Mudokons in my game Flying Mudokons!

Need images for your Oddworld fan project? Visit The Oddworld Vector Gallery!

Reply With Quote
  #135  
12-18-2004, 07:04 AM
Splat's Avatar
Splat
Chameleonic Lifeforms, No Thanks!
 
: Oct 2002
: Merrie olde Englande
: 4,539
Blog Entries: 62
Rep Power: 27
Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)


(Note: Sorry if this whole chapter is written in massive font (it'll probably fix itself now I've written this). The Forums hate me today!)

Fresh off of the production lines:


Chapter 3, Preparing a Body
Every particle in his brain was screaming "No!" But his hand kept moving outwards. Why did he have to do this? Why couldn’t he just turn and run? He froze, his fingertips millimetres from the metallic ball.
How could he live with himself if he ran away now? The freedom of his people depended on him getting out of there with the Orb. Nothing else mattered. But it was so hard. That Orb could kill him like it had killed everyone else. No one in their right mind would take it. "Sometimes you have to be the fool to succeed. Sometimes only the fool sees the right path…" The right path… The path of freedom for his people. Closing his eyes, he reached out and grabbed the object here feared most.
If he’d been expecting to drop down dead right there he was disappointed. The Orb seemed to vibrate beneath his fingers, spreading warmth up his arm and for a few seconds Graham just stood there, feeling the warmth, the curse and his quest driven from his mind.
But it was almost as if a magnetic pull was on the Orb, tugging him to the door. Graham quickly stuffed some food into his bag and set off, picked up the kid’s compass (it had been a long time since he’d last walked through the forest) and stepped through his door.
He knew this part of the forest like he knew his own mind (actually, judging by what just happened, that was a pretty bad example). But the point was he could have made his way through in his sleep. He knew every rock, every tree. Every hole where some animal or another lived; every dark crack where ratz hid. He knew where the stream was, when he would cross it, where to cross it.
And then he was on his own. Hr hadn’t bothered to cross the stream in ages; he’d had no reason to. He regretted it now. When he had the Orb the whole place seemed more menacing. Every slig, glukkon and vykker for miles was out to get him and his cargo. As long as he held the Orb they all wanted him dead. And then there was the curse. Maybe he could take the Orb back and go through the forest without it first… No! He couldn’t; there wasn’t time! And if he put the Orb down he wasn’t sure if he’d ever have the will power to pick it up again. No, he was going now and there was no turning back, maybe not ever. But that wasn’t what mattered now.
In the next couple of days he would cross the border of the continents and enter Mudos, home of his people. He would like to have told himself he would be safer there, but so close to the edge of the forest… In Mudos, the industrialists were less bothered about ancient curses and beliefs and more about profits. That was, of course, why they were shipped further away. The sligs in glucose were the more edgy ones. No matter how tight security may be in Glucose, you always found better employees on the Southern side of the border.
But that was a long way off (20 odd miles): at least 2 days walk for him now. He’d been waiting in the forest 20 (Earth) years (that’s about 10 Odd years.) He’d been so ready to just go then! Now he felt so pathetic, so small. It was impossible to believe that he could make a difference to something this big? It’s always easier to see yourself as part of legend when you’re younger! Yet here he was, carrying it through the forest, drawing ever closer to its point of energy: the first temple built after its creation… Paramonia…
He glanced down at the Orb, the weapon that would end the industrial reign over the mudokon race; the legends never stated how it would do that. What could it do? Just a small, metallic green ball… A metallic green ball with all the might of the 2 great shamen, He reminded himself. That was a lot of power. He thought of his master. The power that guy must contain scared even Graham and he didn’t understand half of it; very few did. What was he messing with? The existence of the glukkons? Would the Orb simply destroy them all? That would sort of defeat the object. All peoples were created equal by Odd, destroying one so another could live was pretty hypocritical. It was all too much; he’d probably (hopefully) find it all out some day.
As evening drew in, Graham stopped and raked together a pile of Bankeddi leaves (a type of tree native to Southern glucose) and settled down on it to sleep. The whole thing was too big for him to ever contemplate. He should just get to sleep; he needed his strength. Glancing at the Orb one last time, he closed his eyes and settled down to rest for the night.



I'm closing up for Christmas now. Hope you like this, have a good Christmas, happy knew year and GET YOUR BLINKIN COMPUTER OUT OF THAT BOX SEARGE OR I WILL GET VERY ANGRY!!!! VERY ANGRY INDEED!!!!
__________________
Oddworld novel: The Despicable. Original fiction: Small Worlds.


Last edited by Splat; 12-18-2004 at 07:10 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #136  
12-18-2004, 12:47 PM
Scrab Watcher's Avatar
Scrab Watcher
Boombat
 
: Aug 2004
: Ireland
: 212
Rep Power: 21
Scrab Watcher  (10)

*hugs*

Finally! Merry Christmas Splat, and a Happy New Year!!! ^_^
Just one thing. This size >-<...I thought there were too many brackets. That's all. Apart from that...great!

*hugs Splat and runs off in a Santa hat, singing Jingle Bells*
__________________
The voices in my head are having cat-fights!

Reply With Quote
  #137  
12-20-2004, 01:22 PM
Splat's Avatar
Splat
Chameleonic Lifeforms, No Thanks!
 
: Oct 2002
: Merrie olde Englande
: 4,539
Blog Entries: 62
Rep Power: 27
Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)
Question

Ignore everything said until after Christmas cause the forums screwed up and deleted a chapter that I've reposted in it's proper place (chapter 15 of the refugee). Cheers once again to scrabwatcher, see you in the new year.
__________________
Oddworld novel: The Despicable. Original fiction: Small Worlds.


Last edited by Splat; 12-23-2004 at 01:29 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #138  
12-21-2004, 12:59 AM
Fuzzle Guy's Avatar
Fuzzle Guy
Outlaw Flamer
 
: Apr 2003
: Greater London, UK
: 2,634
Blog Entries: 17
Rep Power: 25
Fuzzle Guy  (2482)Fuzzle Guy  (2482)Fuzzle Guy  (2482)Fuzzle Guy  (2482)Fuzzle Guy  (2482)Fuzzle Guy  (2482)Fuzzle Guy  (2482)Fuzzle Guy  (2482)Fuzzle Guy  (2482)Fuzzle Guy  (2482)Fuzzle Guy  (2482)

It's good, but have you closed for Christmas? It's only in four days
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #139  
12-21-2004, 03:50 AM
Splat's Avatar
Splat
Chameleonic Lifeforms, No Thanks!
 
: Oct 2002
: Merrie olde Englande
: 4,539
Blog Entries: 62
Rep Power: 27
Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)

Try reading whats there fuzzleguy!!! As in before and after the chapter! And I mean the Christmas holidays wich started for me last weekend. It's so i can get more stuff written. I was just lookin through here the other day and i noticed what i've written below and won't bother to repeat now.
__________________
Oddworld novel: The Despicable. Original fiction: Small Worlds.

Reply With Quote
  #140  
12-21-2004, 07:22 AM
Software Bug's Avatar
Software Bug
Formerly Tim Cottenham
 
: Jun 2004
: Groningen, Netherlands
: 1,068
Blog Entries: 1
Rep Power: 22
Software Bug  (308)Software Bug  (308)Software Bug  (308)Software Bug  (308)

wow i missed something
Great chapters Splat!!
__________________
*Working on all the dead links around here, stay tuned!*

Throw around some Mudokons in my game Flying Mudokons!

Need images for your Oddworld fan project? Visit The Oddworld Vector Gallery!

Reply With Quote
  #141  
12-21-2004, 10:25 AM
Splat's Avatar
Splat
Chameleonic Lifeforms, No Thanks!
 
: Oct 2002
: Merrie olde Englande
: 4,539
Blog Entries: 62
Rep Power: 27
Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)

NO ONE IS ANSWERING MY QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________
Oddworld novel: The Despicable. Original fiction: Small Worlds.

Reply With Quote
  #142  
12-22-2004, 08:49 AM
Scrab Watcher's Avatar
Scrab Watcher
Boombat
 
: Aug 2004
: Ireland
: 212
Rep Power: 21
Scrab Watcher  (10)

Yup, it seems to have disappeared. I wonder where it went?

You got Christmas holidays last weekend!?!?! I've just finished my exams this morning! Still, as long as I'm on my holidays I don't mind
__________________
The voices in my head are having cat-fights!

Reply With Quote
  #143  
12-23-2004, 01:21 PM
Splat's Avatar
Splat
Chameleonic Lifeforms, No Thanks!
 
: Oct 2002
: Merrie olde Englande
: 4,539
Blog Entries: 62
Rep Power: 27
Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)

Ok, cheers scrab-watcher! I'll edit that into place then.
__________________
Oddworld novel: The Despicable. Original fiction: Small Worlds.

Reply With Quote
  #144  
12-23-2004, 07:44 PM
Godlesswanderer's Avatar
Godlesswanderer
Naked & Pimping
 
: Dec 2004
: Essex, England
: 1,183
Rep Power: 21
Godlesswanderer  (22)

I've just read all the chapters in one go (it took me around an hour and a half, or somewhere close to that) and I've got to say, WOW!!! They're fantastic! I can't wait until the next one.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #145  
01-04-2005, 05:22 AM
Splat's Avatar
Splat
Chameleonic Lifeforms, No Thanks!
 
: Oct 2002
: Merrie olde Englande
: 4,539
Blog Entries: 62
Rep Power: 27
Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)

Back after Christmas, I've tried to sort out the technical difficulty I had before. Thanks once more to scrabwatcher for helping me out. So it's been 2 weeks (give or take) since the last installment so here it is now, fresh off the shelves,


Chapter 4, Origins
Before the invasion glukkons had been secretive and suspicious. They had kept to themselves and eventually built a solid concrete wall all the way around Glucose to keep "those stinkin freaks" out. The wall was maintained annually and patrolled almost constantly. Hadrian had nothing on these guys! Still, parts of it were less well guarded than others. The wall ran through places that Glukkons liked to avoid. When the invasion on Mudos began the wall was still maintained at first but workers became lax. Those places where no one liked to go quickly fell into disrepair long before the caring of the wall was dropped altogether.
In the forest of Gopemi There was little of the wall left except a heap of crumbling rubble and the grassy foundations. Graham had kept his eyes on the ground all day, looking for any sign of his crossing into Mudos. Now he stood in front of the crumbled line of concrete, staring across into Mudos: the place he’d come from; the place he should have felt safer.
But the forest was one of the few, if not the only place on the border where he’d be safer on the Glucose side. Sligs weren’t scared of the forest over there. The patrolled it regularly(ish) and were a lot less likely to fly into a blind panic when scared. It was notably more dangerous than his half.
Graham didn’t want to cross that line. How long had it been since he’d last been in Glucose? He couldn’t even remember. And now here he was, holding an object that the glukkons would do almost anything to get back, about to step over into a land where glukkons would actually be looking for it before long. Hopefully, by tomorrow night he wouldn’t be the one carrying it. It wouldn’t be his problem anymore. Actually, if and when the curse played its card, he wouldn’t have any problems anymore. And for some reason that thought wasn’t comforting.
With a sigh he stepped over the line.
Once again, if he’d expected 20 sligs to leap out of the undergrowth and fill him full of metal he was disappointed. Trying to decide whether this was a good thing or not, Graham set out through the trees.

Evening was drawing in and all afternoon Graham hadn’t seen so much as an empty bullet cartridge to feed his terror. Maybe he was just overreacting. Or maybe the patrols had been lessened since his last visit. Either way, it was with a lot less caution that he threw himself down on the edge of a clearing and pulled a Paramite Pie out of his loincloth. An hour later he was starting to doze.

He was walking down a long tunnel, clutching the Orb. Suddenly a slig leapt out of no where and raised its gun to him, but he held up the Orb and the slig burst into flames. He kept walking and suddenly another slig appeared. He raised the Orb again and the slig turned to stone. He continued walking.
Every so often another slig leapt out but he simply raised the Orb and it was gone. Some simply vanished, some blew up, turned to dust or dropped to the ground, dead.
After a while Graham heard voices up ahead. Fearing more sligs, he lifted the Orb, only it wasn’t the Orb, it was a grenade. He quickly threw it away but it hit the tunnel wall and exploded. Chunks of the tunnel were raining down around him as it collapsed and the voices were getting louder: "HEY MENICK, THIS LOOKS LIKE A GOOD SPOT!!!

Graham jerked awake and for a few seconds was surprised to find himself in a clearing, not a dark tunnel. He heard voices: "Yeah, this’ll do. GUYS, WE FOUND A PLACE!"
Sligs! Graham leapt into a bush, making more noise than he would have liked. A torch beam flashed over him. "D’you here that Menick?"
There was a few seconds silence then "Probably just some animal." A stream of bullets passed over his head, ruffling his ponytail. "There ya go, it’ll probably have bolted now anyway."
A new voice joined the other 2, "What ya shootin at idiot?"
"Just some animal. Scared poor wittel Bezin here didnit!"
"Shut up!"
"Aw, is big nasty Menick bein howwibew to Bezin now?"
"SHUT UP!"
Someone laughed and a fourth voice interrupted, "Cut it out you lot or it’ll be mornin by the time we get these bl00dy tents up."
Graham almost swore. They were gonna be staying the night there. He wasn’t exactly in a good position. His back was aching were a branch was pressing into it, one arm was caught between his stomach and a rock on the ground, his legs were crushed up beneath him, twigs were wavering threateningly near his eyes and nostrils. He didn’t dare move with at least 4 sligs just metres away, especially after how close he’d come to having 5 bullets pass through his skull already.
Graham prayed quietly that it was already past midnight and settled down to the grunting and snorting noises related to 4 or 5 sligs trying to erect tents for themselves in near darkness. It was gonna be a very long night.


Feel free to comment
__________________
Oddworld novel: The Despicable. Original fiction: Small Worlds.

Reply With Quote
  #146  
01-04-2005, 01:42 PM
Scrab Watcher's Avatar
Scrab Watcher
Boombat
 
: Aug 2004
: Ireland
: 212
Rep Power: 21
Scrab Watcher  (10)

Awww...poor chappy, that must be terribly uncomfortable. Happy new year Splat!
__________________
The voices in my head are having cat-fights!

Reply With Quote
  #147  
01-15-2005, 04:34 AM
Splat's Avatar
Splat
Chameleonic Lifeforms, No Thanks!
 
: Oct 2002
: Merrie olde Englande
: 4,539
Blog Entries: 62
Rep Power: 27
Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)Splat  (2194)

Thanks. at least one of you people still read this *sniff*
__________________
Oddworld novel: The Despicable. Original fiction: Small Worlds.

Reply With Quote
  #148  
01-19-2005, 11:40 AM
T-nex's Avatar
T-nex
Frosties and Buttsex
 
: Aug 2003
: Denmark
: 4,811
Blog Entries: 80
Rep Power: 27
T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)T-nex  (3441)

Sorry for not posting lately... But i want you to know that i read them even though i don't post... it's just that sometimes i don't have time to post...

Anyway, i love them as usual, and i feel that this gets better and better Keep it up!!
__________________
Wil siger (17:13):
Hey, I have massive nuts. :@

============


Reply With Quote
  #149  
01-19-2005, 12:00 PM
Godlesswanderer's Avatar
Godlesswanderer
Naked & Pimping
 
: Dec 2004
: Essex, England
: 1,183
Rep Power: 21
Godlesswanderer  (22)

Very very cool so far. Keep it up .
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #150  
01-20-2005, 09:40 PM
Seargentbig's Avatar
Seargentbig
Sleg
 
: Apr 2003
: Australia
: 683
Rep Power: 23
Seargentbig  (10)

Hopefully I can get back in routine now.
Strange... it was never that hard to cross the border...
__________________
Now complete with XBL gamertag for your pwning convenience.

Reply With Quote


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 








 
 
- Oddworld Forums - -