The Quest for the Orb
 

Here it is at last, my third story. I hope it's as good as The Oddworld Story. And I hope some of my old fans will read this.
Basically this story is devided in to parts, 6 in all. The first part, The Shaman, is only 2 chapters long, it's the introductory chapter. Hope you people like, and so, with no further ado or adon't, here it is, originally formed in my garden over a year ago, and now, drastically modified for your pleasure, The Quest for the Orb, chapter 1...

Part 1, The shaman


Chapter 1, How it all began
500 years BA (Before Abe) The glukkons rallied a slig army and launched there first attack on the mudokons. Bursting out of Glucose, they attacked and slaughtered everyone living in the nearest village.
The second nearest village had the same fate. The third, fourth, then, as they reached the fifth, a young, trainee shaman discovered the imminent danger before the attack was launched. Fleeing for his life, he left his village, then stopped, close enough to see his village become a mass grave. Running to the nearby stables, he saddled his elum, Mark, and ran away. He arrived at the next village and tried desperately to warn them of the approaching slaughter-machine, but was turned away, he was a young shaman, saw a dream of something that didn’t exist. They had been safe for 3000 years, what had they to fear now? They met the same fate as 1, 2, 3 and 4: no survivors.
Then the desperate mudokon ran on to the next village, but once again he was turned away. Except by the village’s shaman. He was older and wiser, and recently he had had visions of approaching danger, and now he prayed to Odd, asking for help to defeat the foe.
He received a message, and together the 2 shamen poured all there knowledge and energy into making, a weapon. The forging destroyed them, but they had fulfilled their purpose, they had made a weapon, a small, metalliccy green ball. The Orb, as insignificant as it appeared, it had the power to free the mudokons from glukkon rule. If only it could be delivered to the sacred temple, the one built just before the forging of the Orb. The temple, of Paramonia.
The Orb would have to be taken to the highest point of the temple, a point that only the local shaman could reach. Then he must place the Orb upon the hidden pedestal and the glukkons would be defeated.
The village of the forging was destroyed, in fact, by the end of the year, 211 mudokon villages had been destroyed. And then the Glukkons finally realised that they were loosing money on this deal. They could be capturing mudokons, setting them to work in food manufacturing plants, and selling there products back to the workers, for major profits. It was a slower, harder job, now capturing about 12 villages a year if they set things up properly, but within a hundred years, they had almost a third of Mudos in there hands. And for 400 years the mudokons cried out for help from Odd, at the end of those 400 years 2 things happened,
1: Abe was born, and begun rescuing slaves,
2: the Orb was stolen from the hands the glukkons…

That is the shortest chapter in the whole story, like I said, it's just the introduction. Well, you like?

You bet your fecking ass it was! Please, write more.

Yes. More! MORE! Need more story!

Well, I am feeling generous... ah, what the heck, here ya go, chapter 2 (still on the introduction).


Chapter 2, The story of the Orb
When the glukkons attacked a village, they destroyed much of it, and then the glukkons would come through, taking all they found that they liked. Then the sligs would be invited through to take all that the glukkons had missed. And it was a slig, who discovered the Orb.
Hunting under burnt tent-skin, he found something the glukkons had missed, a nest of stones, and in the middle, wrapped up in dirty cloth, was the Orb. The slig found it, never guessing its power, only seeing it’s shininess and heat. It became a sort of good luck charm for him, he treasured it like he treasured his soul, he took it with him all day everyday, stuffed in the bottom of his pants, and he slept with it in his hand, it was a complete obsession, it ruled his life. He lost 19 jobs because he lost it in the night, couldn’t find it in the morning, and stayed there looking for it. But still he treasured it until his dying day.
When the slig did eventually die in his sleep, the intern that “disposed of him” found the Orb clenched in his fist. The intern burnt away the sligs uneven fingers wit his gun and stole the Orb, thinking only of its value, how much the vykkers would pay for this heat-emitting ball! But before he had a chance to sell it he got in to a fight with a friend. It almost caused a riot and the vykkers had to kill the 2 of them to keep order! And once they where killed and the gathered crowd had dispersed, 5 vykkers came to move the bodies, and discovered in the pocket of one of them, a small metallicy green ball.
The five made a secret group where they studied and experimented on the Orb. They called their group “The Dead Interns Society” and met twice a week at 11 O’clock. Until they too had an argument over the dissection of the Orb. Too cut it up and study in deeper, or leave it in one piece and continue with external discoveries. There fight went on till one of the vykkers, Athonanbra, decided that he had had enough of arguing, and stole it from the group, and hid it in a store cupboard. Unfortunately, Athonanbra wasn’t overly intelligent, and hid the Orb in a stock cupboard that was frequently used by the head vykkers. The Orb was found, knowledge was passed around, and soon the whole lab knew of The Dead Interns Society’s secret.
For several years the Orb remained the mascot of the lab, until the glukkons made an inspection. They discovered the Orb and took it, against many protests, to a larger lab where it was studied more closely, compared with old mudokon prophecies, and after tens of years, identified for what it was: A weapon that they could not use, but must never EVER be returned to the mudokons. So they moved it to a random factory. A long way off from any mudokon settlements, hid it with top security, the kind of stuff that would make Abe wet his loincloth and run for his teddy bear if he ever found out that he had to get in!
And there it remained for 23 years, but as all closely guarded secrets, it couldn’t remain secret for long. Why was their factory so closely guarded? What was it that the glukkons were hiding in the centre? For years no one knew, but as I said, it wouldn’t remain secret for long, and the mudokons eventually discovered that the most powerful weapon on Oddworld, was a mere 50 metres away from there bunks. But no one dared to try and get it. No one was suicidal enough, until, a young mudokon was captured. He had a fire inside of him that could not be put out, no matter what happened to him, no matter what he saw. He only had to get the Orb out of the factory, anyone could do that…


Well, there's chapter 2 and the end of part one.The next time I post I'll be posting Part 2, The Refugee.

To Splat: Keep writing.

To everyone replying to this thread: Reply to Splat (The thread), Oddamit! I want to know what happens next!

oddamit? What the fuzz is that?

It is a punne, or play on words.
Instead of Godamit. See?

Hey, your story is GOOD!
Please write more :stare:





-CarboN:eek:

This is the last chapter I wrote during summer, thanks to a bad case of writers block.

Searge, i'm thinking of posting the next chapter of Splat soon anyway cause I have up to a really important part of the story.
In fact, the chapter I wrote last night is quite major to.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings, we've finished part 1 so that puts us on to...

Part 2, The Refugee.

Chapter 1, Welcome to Hell
Bill was beyond screaming.
“48, 49, 50. You want another 50?”
Bill shook his head
“Then get to your bunk. Tomorrow you can clean up the mess you’ve made here.”
Bill looked around at the large amounts of his own blood that he would be cleaning tomorrow. He pushed himself tenderly up on to his hands and knees (his back was to badly mutilated for him to stand up) and started to crawl off. Then he was hit, hard in the back again. He screamed with pain and dropped to the floor. He lay there until he heard the big-bro-slig leaving. Then he pushed himself up again and crawled off, leaving a trail of his blood.
In most factories it would be pretty stupid for a slig to leave a mudokon to make his own way back to the bunks. But in most places mudokons had the will to live!
Bill slid down corridors, and in to the long passage containing row after row of iron-barred cages. He pulled his despairing body in to his cell and on to his bunk and slipped in to unconsciousness.
Later that night he came round to see a new mud being bundled in to the cell opposite his. The previous owner was the envy of all the other muds in the factory. He was dead.
This new guy stared angrily at the sligs as they whacked him forwards in to the cell and locked the door. He threw himself angrily against the bars of the cell as the sligs walked off, laughing and jeering. The mud eventually gave up on the bars and sat down and stared across at Bill.
“Welcome to Hell,” Bill said to him, dryly
“Do they treat all you guys like that?” The Mud asked
“You got off easy,” Bill replied.
The mud stared at him. “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean that insulting a guard will usually leave you screaming and bloody, so I recommend you keep your mouth shut next time you’re unhappy, Mud.
“Mud is what the sligs call us, it’s an insult.”
“I told you to shut up.”
“Nice to meet you to, I’m Reggie.”
“Bill,” Bill replied.
Reggie tried to get some more conversation out of him but Bill ignored him until he fell into unconsciousness.

It couldn’t be called sleep that the slaves got in that factory. Sleep involved rest and peace, but instead most muds were tense all night and the pain of their injuries still plagued them mercilessly
Bill was brought round at 4 the next morning by a b-b-slig kicking him into the bars on the far wall of his cage from the door. “You gotta lotta work to do today mud, you gotta get all your work done, and clean up the mess you made yesterday, so get movin or you’ll get the 50 you missed out on yesterday, plus a few more!
Bill scrambled out of his cage, his back still burning with pain, and got to work. He would have nothing to eat or drink that day, no rest, and he knew it. He followed the slig through the endless halls, and got down to work.

Reggie woke up at 7 that morning and looked across to see Bill missing from his cage. As they were led out he didn’t see him. At Breakfast there was still no sign of him. The other mudokons were silent in there eating, and he suddenly realised that he was the only mudokon in the hall who wasn’t staring at the table in front of him. And he was getting some dark looks from the Glukkons at the head table. He finished his food (he wasn’t sure what it was, only that it tasted foul) in silence.
Reggie had the worst day of his life, worked almost to death, beaten mercilessly whenever he paused. He still hadn’t seen Bill but he hadn’t had much of a chance to look! The evening meal was, as far as he could tell, some kind of fungus. It was dry and brittle and tasted like… something that tastes really foul!
That evening when they returned to there bunks, Bill’s cage was still empty. Then one of the others informed him, “he’s still gotta clean up that mess.”
He was pointing to the trail of blood on the floor. Half an hour later Bill appeared at the door, desperately wiping at the blood stains on the floor. When he came in he gave Reggie an “I told you so” stare. Reggie remembered Bill’s words the other night:
“Welcome to Hell.”
Man, it hadn’t been that bad!
Bill followed the trail of blood through the room and to the door of his cage where there was still a puddle of dry blood left. As he rubbed at it a b-b-slig walked in and watched him. Bill didn’t notice until the slig looked at his watch and counted down, “10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…”
Bill squeezed his eyes shut and braced himself. The slig raised his gun. And it was then that Reggie noticed 8 sharp spikes circling the gun barrel. He gasped in horror as the gun plunged downwards.
Reggie stared on in horror as Bill took hit after hit. He listened to Bills screaming and the slig’s steady counting.
“1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8… …47…48…49…50…51…52…53…54… …98…99…100.”
Reggie thought he would stop then but no:
“101…102…103… …196…197…198…199…200.”
Blood was splattered all over the floor and cages. The slig flung the door of Bill’s cage open and left him lying just outside.
Reggie stared at him, Bill was struggling to breathe and he was still bleeding endlessly.
Reggie stared at the open door of the cage and at the unlocked door leading out of the bunks. Bill could make a break for freedom any time all night! That’s when he finally realised, countless rebel leaders said it , “they can take away your freedom, they can take away your lives, but they can’t take away your hope.”
That was completely wrong. They hadn’t taken Bills freedom; he could still make a break. They hadn’t taken his life; he was alive and breathing. But the one thing they had taken, was his hope. Then Reggie truly understood. “Welcome to Hell,” prepare to forsake your hope.


And don't expect me to post the next chapter any time soon, serious writers block alert!

Approved!
 

Excellent story so far, Splat old chap. Quite promising, I dare say. And your descriptions of gore were quite exquisite-- I could almost hear the splatty, squishy sounds.:D

Aaah... another fine story to follow. Soon I will think one story is the other. 'Tis wonderful. *waits for next chapter*

Indeed. Very good.

Ok, I finally managed to sqeeze out another chapter. I don't know if it's any good thought so you'll have to tell me.

Chapter 2, Aaron
Reggie took his first real beating the next day. Bill finished mopping up his blood on time that evening and got his first meal in 2 days. He came back to his cell to find Reggie’s up for rent.
“New record,” muttered a prisoner near by, “only survived 2 and a half days, beaten to death just after lunch, left his tools where sligs could step on em. Not as strong as he made out.”
Bill didn’t reply but curled his scabbed back over his bed and fell asleep. The next day was like any other, and the next, on the third evening Reggie’s cage was taken again. The new owner of the cage was brought into the bunks in a sack as the muds came back after their evening “meal.”
Bill at first thought they had a paramite or scrab in the sack, it was bouncing about violently and there were 3 sligs struggling to drag it in. But when the sack was tipped upside down into a cage it was a mudokon that fell out and ran to the back of the cage. The guy watched everything the sligs did, as they locked the cage and left the bunks.
“They leave the door to this room open,” The mud observed. Bill didn’t answer. The mud looked across at him, then curled up on his bed and went to sleep.
Bill woke the next morning and waited till the bell went, meaning the morning meal before work started. The new mud was awake to.
“Mornin,” he said as a greeting.
“Very observant of you,” Bill replied.
The mud seemed to take that as a joke, rather than an insult, and actually LAUGHED! Bill was so shocked that he sat up! The mud seemed surprised at his shocked expression and asked “you alright?”
“You-you-yu!”
“I’m Aaron, nice to meet ya.”
“Bill.”
“How long you been here Bill?”
“Uh, years!”
The bell went at that moment and their conversation was cut short. The sligs came in and they were marched in to the cafeteria and given bowls of “porridge.” Ten minutes of frantic eating later they were marched out of the room again. They were all sent to their various areas of the factory to work.
Before being given a job in the factory, mudokons were given a shot of cocoa. Cocoa is a highly addictive and very weird substance found on Oddworld. One mouthful of the properly processed stuff and you would spend the rest of your life craving for another tiny taste. The addiction lasted the rest of your life and worked on all intelligent Oddworldian species. It was a popular but expensive torture method.
Aaron had the normal reaction to the stuff. He found himself suddenly unwilling to swallow until the sligs forced it down his throat. It somehow seemed to… warm up his whole body! He immediately felt a craving for another mouthful but he knew that he would probably never taste the stuff again.
The next thing they did was a test to see what his best job would be, and 20 minutes later he was hammering at a chunk of metal.
That evening Bill watched as Aaron’s unconscious body was carried in to the bunks by 2 sligs. He heard tem talking as they came in.
“Seriously, it’s bad enough havin the glukkons threaten us, but now the muds are at it to!”
“Man, you can’t seriously consider leaving?”
“Why shouldn’t I? They just chuck all the worst muds down here, they lower the wages every week, and then there’s whatever it is that there guarding in corridor AC.”
“Well, for a start you probably won’t get another job, then if you do you’ll find yourself hanging in a slig-sack 23 hours a day.”
“Better than this place.”
They opened Aaron’s cell, threw him in, and headed for the door.
“And there’s what they’re guardin on AC. You know about the lie detector and all that.”
“I know the rumours, but that’s all they are.”
“Well, it’s your funeral, uh, I mean decision,” his friend answered and laughed.
“Ah, shut up,” mumbled the first irritably.”


OK, so what do ya think?

That post? Very good. Two and a half days? Not so good.

I wrote the next chapter last night. Don't know if it's any good though. I would post it but I have several tons worth of homework and I haven't got the time.:devil:

Ok, enough waitin, here it is.

Chapter 3, Corridor AC
The next morning Aaron had regained consciousness and got on with his work. He didn’t speak throughout the evening meal and Bill thought his spark had been snuffed out. And it really did look like he was right, till they were all alone in their bunks.
“So Bill,” Aaron asked him jauntily after the sligs had left the bunks, “What’s the big secret in corridor AC?”
“No idea. And we’re forbidden to talk about it. Hasn’t anyone told you?”
“Course they told me, anyway, you gotta know something about it.”
“I told you, nothing, except they keep it guarded fully, night and day like they expect someone to come and steal it.”
“Like Abe.”
“Who?”
“What, you don’t know who Abe is?”
“Should I?”
“Man, I can’t believe you don’t know. Abe’s this really great rebel. Used to work for some great glukkon, can’t remember who, then one day, FLASH, he left and took about 30 slaves with him. He must of saved like, 10,000 slaves already.”
Bill didn’t answer and Aaron had a feeling that he didn’t believe him. But he couldn’t believe that Bill had never heard of Abe. He wondered if there was anyone here who knew about Abe, Munch and their rebellion.
Next thing he knew it was almost pitch dark and there was an old mudokon hissing through the bars of the cage to wake him up.
“Hey, hey kid.”
“Wuh? What is it?” Aaron sat up and saw the mudokon. “Huh, hey! How did you get out?!”
“They leave my cage door open.”
“Why don’t you make a break for it? The door to the bunks is left open.”
“Not me, I’m to old, to weak. Can’t run as well as I used to be able to. I wouldn’t reach the front door.” The old mudokon sighed. “Haven’t got much time left anyway.” He sighed again, then suddenly looked serious. “Listen, you wanna know about what’s in AC, right?”
Aaron nodded.
“Ok, do you know what The Orb is?”
“The what?” Asked Aaron confused.
“The Orb, from ancient Mudokon legends.”
“Not a clue.”
“Alright.” The old guy glanced towards the door. “I’ll speak to you again tomorrow.”
“But wait, I…” But the old mudokon had already run off and disappeared.

“Ah come on Bill, you MUST know something!”
“Will you keep it down?! Do you know how much trouble you can get in to for talking about AC? You can get in to trouble for even listening to someone talking about what’s in AC!”
Throughout the day, Aaron had asked as many people as he could manage about the corridor, and just as many about The Orb, whatever that was. He hadn’t seen that old guy and wondered if he’d dreamed his coming. He didn’t expect anyone to turn up outside the cage that night.
But sure enough, “Hey, kid?”
“Hey, you came!”
“Course I came. Listen, I haven’t got time to repeat this.”
Aaron nodded.
“Ok, The Orb is a weopon created by 2 shamen, hundreds of years ago, back when the glukkons were just starting to invade. It has the power to save us all, it’s the only thing that can. And that’s what they’re guarding in corridor AC.”

Ohhh
We know where the orb is!

This keeps getting better and better. *waits for next chapter*

Just finished writing it:

Chapter 4, Weak points
The following evening Bill watched as once again Aaron was carried into the bunks unconscious. That guy never new when to give up. Still, he was doing better than Reggie.
Bill didn’t react as the sligs threw Aaron into his cage and left the bunks. He was surprised to hear Aaron talking to him the moment the sligs had left. “Gonna wait 10 minutes, give them a chance to get away.
“Aaron? You’re conscious?!”
“Course I am. 50 whacks ain’t enough to get me down.” Aaron shoved on the door of his cage. It swung open. “Good.”
“You’re not gonna escape are you?”
“Not tonight. Just got a few things to check out.”
“Like what?”
“Easiest way to the sligs armoury. And I gotta look for a way into AC.”
“Oh no, you’re not going to-”
“Oh yes I am.”
“But you’ll be shot!”
“Wanna bet?”
Aaron climbed out of his cage and out of the bunks. He glanced round. No sligs in sight. Everything was silent. No clank of mechanical legs, no buzz of patrolling greeters, the only sound was of his own breath. He stalked down the corridor to the stairs. He went up a floor and crept down the passage, listening intently for any sound other than his own breathing and frantic heart beat. He froze suddenly as a greeter came round the corner in front of him. It passed him and turned into another passage.
Aaron had mostly kept to the small passages that were less likely to be guarded than the main corridors. All he saw was greeters mostly. He’d heard the odd slig ahead of him and ducked into the shadows. So far only 1 had passed him. Aaron had stood, stock-still, holding his breath and praying to Odd that the slig wouldn’t hear his mad heart beating. The slig had passed and Aaron continued.
Now he was approaching AC he could hear more sligs. Crept down his passage till he could see the steel door in front of him. He gasped.
There were about 100 guards positioned around the door in the daytime. Now there were 25 at most! Aaron stalked back down the shadowy passage he was in and headed back to AC further away from the door. Then he checked out the small passages surrounding the guarded room. There wasn’t another door way in. He followed a passage to another corridor, AE. It was just behind the room. From there he ducked into a different room.
It was a small storeroom. Not much in there other than a few empty boxes. But he was reasonably certain that it was just behind the guarded room. He looked around the ceiling and saw what he was looking for. He made a stack of boxes and climbed up to the ceiling and tugged at the grate to the ventilation system. It finally came loose and he climbed in, then wriggled down the passage and stared down in shock at the room below. There must have been over 100 moving motion sensors in the room! The red beams swung around the room, touching everything except a metal pedestal in the far corner from the door and the ventilation shaft. On top of the pedestal was a small metalliccy green ball. It looked so insignificant, just sitting there. But Aaron knew that this was what he was here for. That ball could save his species.


Too be continued and so on...

Cool. Moving red sensors. Ventilation shaft. Storeroom.
50 whaks and still concious? wow.

Well Bill got through 200...
Anyway, I would go write another chapter about now but I've just got over my block for Splat. So you'll have to wait another day or 2 I'm afraid. Sorry!

(Sry... didn't know this one went up. My connection failed before the "Your post..." screen)

This is a realy good story!

After PMing me, I realised I'd never read one of your tales, so I started with this one.

Looks like it'll be nice and long, with a complex plot!

Keep it up!

You only had to say that once! A new chapter is on its way...

Hey.... Were's the rest of the chapters??!!? I WANT CHAPTERS!
I WANT CHAPTERS!

I haven't got that far yet! I only just decided on the finale. But I just finished this chapter... SO GET READIN ALREADY!

Chapter 5, Setting the scene
Aaron overslept the next morning. He didn’t wake up when the breakfast bell went and Bill wasn’t surprised to see blood everywhere when he returned to the bunks in the evening. He was surprised, though, to see Aaron lying unconscious in his cage. The last guy who’d overslept in the morning was, well, you don’t wanna know what happened to the last guy who overslept in the morning! It wasn’t pretty! It was more sort of slimy!
Anyway, Aaron didn’t wake up the next morning again and Bill had a sneaking suspicion that he was dead. The following evening there were about 6 medics clustered around the cage.
“Slaughter?” Bill asked one of the muds that were already there.
“Nah, they’re gonna try to fix him up. 250 though! Harsh!”
“Don’t forget what they did to Gutspill-Glen when he overslept.”
The other guy shuddered. It hadn’t been pretty! It had been more sort of slimy!
The medics left eventually. Aaron was still lying in the cage not doing much. The next morning though he successfully got up and went to work. Bill was sure that he had been beaten down now. At least until Aaron said hi to him as they met in a corridor and got himself a beating.
“See ya later Bill,” He called as Bill left with his own guard slig. Bill sighed exasperatedly as Aaron was knocked to the floor again!
That evening Bill fell to sleep the moment he returned to his cage. Only unusual due to the fact that most muds stayed up a few hours groaning in pain and depression. Bill though, had managed to go a whole week without getting a beating! That HAD to be a record! He was amazed that he hadn’t been beaten for being spoken to by another mud!

Bill woke up suddenly to the sound of voices: “You’d have to be smaller than a slurg to make it to that pedestal! The place was stuffed with motion detectors!”
“You’d have to shut those off somewhere. The glukkons don’t count on the generator being tampered with though. It wouldn’t be to hard to shut off the power in that room alone.”
Bill sat up. An old mud was crouching outside Aaron’s cage and talking to him quickly: “Did you check out the weapons?”
“Yup, the place was a total mess! Stuff strewn out over the floor, draws open. I could nick a quarter of the stuff in there and no one would notice!” Aaron answered.
“Alright, all you’ll need from there are a grappling hook to get yourself out and a compass.”
“What for? Shouldn’t I just leg it for all I’m worth once I’m out?”
“No! The security may be lax at night but they’re gonna know if the mudokons’ secret weapon has been nicked. They’ll be after you before sunrise. Once you’re out head straight Southwest till you come to a forest. Get in keep going till you come to a small wooden hut about a kilometre in.”
“Who lives there?”
“… An old friend. But just focus on getting there. I would recommend taking a weapon or 2 as well. You’ll probably need them before the sun sinks on your second day.” There was a pause, which ended with the old guy saying, “Better go back to my cage now. I’ll see ya tomorrow night.” He turned and ran.
Aaron suddenly noticed Bill was watching him: “Hey, you hear that? I’m getting out! And I’m taking the treasure from AC with me!”
“You are so naïve!” Bill told him, “I can tell, that old guy can tell. It’s obvious by the way he’s speaking! Even if you do manage to steal whatever it is and get out, you won’t live long enough to celebrate your freedom!”

:eek: :eek:
He's getting out... Now I'M scarried.

Yay! You finaly replied... although i shouldn't talk...
...
...
...
...:fuzemb:
I'll be quiet.

lol!
Anyway, the next chapter is currently in production... so you're just gonna have to wait arnt ya!

Happy to read and happy to wait.
Just make sure you don't suddenly forget to write any part of the story for the next 4 months, I don't want to wait THAT long